Two Nice Experiences
Like the vast majority of western men, I first came to Thailand (in 1999) without thinking about the possibility of using the services of a Thai lady in the first place……but things changed so quickly and so profoundly (i.e. on the second day of my first stay I had my first encounter with a "lady of the night", others followed soon after, and nowadays there are no other women for me than SE Asian women).
Oh, how I can relate to certain passages of Stickman's report and the reader's submissions… It seems to be the same story all the time. People who have never even thought at the possibility of taking a prostitute back in their home country suddenly get enchanted by the pleasures in the Kingdom and begin to find it natural after a short time. And there is no way back. Fortunately I never got emotionally involved TOO much, or at least it didn’t have consequences (see story no.1). For example, I wouldn't even consider sending money to a girl. (Though Thai women CAN be such friendly charming lovely warm-hearted gentle cuties, and so on and so forth…help me!)
Anyway, I have no plans whatsoever to find a girlfriend, let alone a partner for life or girl to marry. Silly idea, can anyone tell me what that is good for? Sure you can have good FRIENDS for life – by the way, this is far more important than physical pleasures, but what use is it to live together with the same woman/man for decades??? Awful idea! But I suppose now I am getting carried away, that’s a different topic… Under these circumstances, Thailand is the best thing that can happen to you. Go out, have some fun whenever you want, but don’t see the same girl too often. It’s all been said a thousand times by Stickman and others. But after reading some articles on the website, I can imagine very well a lot of western man get in trouble because they think they have found someone special and make themselves believe they can "rescue" a girl from the scene and have a common future with her.
So, in general make a division: 1. Friends (I have a lot of Thai friends, most of them girls), which you can have a relationship with 2. Working girls, which you must treat like what they are: business partners, not friends (that doesn’t mean feelings are not allowed or you aren’t obliged to treat them nicely, of course!) In my opinion, it’s a business like any other business: you pay money and you get a value in exchange. As easy as that. Though my first story shows traces of emotional disturbance.
In May 2000 I was in Singapore for 5 days on my way back to Europe from Australia. I stayed in the legendary (?) Lee Traveller’s Club, one of the few affordable accommodations in this city, also known as "crash pads". Compared to Thailand, it’s shamelessly expensive, 18 Singie-$ for a shabby "room" of about 4.5 square metres with only a bed and a fan in it. That’s what I call basic! But breakfast is included.
In the basement of the same building there’s a shop which has entrances from the street and from the backside of the house, and one afternoon I was standing on the pavement and had a look at some postcards when I caught sight of a beautiful Asian girl walking from the back of the shop to the cashier’s desk. She was dressed in a cute, short, light green summer dress with flowers on it. Slender, relatively tall, shoulder length hair. I couldn't guess her nationality. When I went to pay my postcards after some time, she was still standing at the cash desk, discussing something with the shop owner. She had a problem with her cellphone because she had bought a card to load it up or something, but it didn’t work or she couldn't fit it in. So I stood there too, looking at them, and she asked me if I could help her because she wasn’t so good at English. I read the instructions and took the phone, but didn’t understand much of it either. We started a little conversation and it turned out she was Thai and living in the same building. She seemed to be at least a little bit interested in me. After I had paid, she still hadn't solved her problem and finally resigned. Somehow we stayed together because we felt we should talk a bit more and both went out through the rear door, the shortest way to the elevator. But we stood in the backyard first to talk alone. Her nickname was Nut. I asked what she was doing in Singapore, but she just said something evasive like Well, what can I be doing here?“ It was a bit strange that she had gone with me at once, but I still wasn’t sure if she was a prostitute. (I would say you couldn't have told it from her appearance.) But it seemed to be the case. Of course she felt that she had made quite an impression on me. Finally she asked if we should go upstairs (to my room). I agreed, but warned her that it was VERY small. In spite of that, she was taken by surprise when we entered. Nevertheless, we sat down there on the bed and went on talking in the sticky heat. She still didn’t make any attempt to ask me if I wanted to make love with her. First we found out more about each other. She said that she was 24 years old, from Phetchabun province (in the southern part of North Thailand) and was living in an apartment two floors below together with another girl. She had a baby from an ex-boyfriend (her family took care of it) and told me she had been in the business for one and a half years (maybe she had to earn money after the boyfriend left her alone with the child) and had worked in Patong Beach / Phuket before. We got along very well and felt quite sympathetic about each other. After a long time it finally showed she was ready to sell her body. The price was Singapore style – $S 150. She didn’t urge me, but said that she liked me and would be pleased to sleep with me. I replied that I certainly liked her, too, but that the price was far too much for me because I was only a student and had already been travelling around for 2 month. She showed some understanding for me, but she wasn’t willing to lower it. In the end I agreed with a heavy heart because I really liked her and she had been so friendly. (It was the highest amount I ever paid, or will pay, for a girl; I had to go to the ATM first while she waited for me.) But I didn’t regret it. It was great because we harmonized very well, exchanged French kisses, and and as far as I can tell, she also enjoyed it. Why should she have played something to me? She didn't need to waste her time with me. Normally she worked in up-class night spots in downtown Singapore and angled for wealthy businessmen and stuff, who would take her to their expensive hotel rooms. She stayed in contact with some of her customers wanted to see her more than once via cellphone. A real freelancer. There was no pimp, no permanent bar, just some other Thai girls who did the same and were living in the same building. Nut left for work in the early evening. I cannot remember exactly, but I think she promised me to come back and see me next morning.
Anyway, around 8:30 AM someone knocked on my door, and it was her. We lay on the bed and kissed and hugged, and at some point she asked me if I wanted to take her again. Again I had to tell that I hadn't intended to go to Singapore to have sex with prostitutes and that I wasn’t rich and that I had already spent more money on her than I could afford the day before. Some kind of bargaining developed, in the course of which it showed that she was really concerned about me and willing to show some consideration for my situation. She asked me how much I wanted to pay her (tough question!!!) and I hesitated to say anything and finally we ended up with $S 50, which was about the amount I had in mind. She could have decided not to show up at my door again because I didn’t belong to her normal class of customers and she simply didn’t need my money, but she stated repeatedly told me that she liked me so much and wanted me to take her again. Now I began to realize this was all a bit special and there might be a chance to get her love for free. Surprisingly, this turned out not to be a problem of money, but a problem of mind. It was very interesting. I think she really wasn’t after the money in the first place. She said she had never done it for free, except with her boyfriend(s), and she seemed to have a mental problem with that idea and fight with herself. She couldn't explain it to me. I can only imagine that this is a kind of self-defence for some (especially Thai) girls who don’t want to admit to themselves that they are whores. They constantly push away this thought because it completely destroys their reputation. So in this case Nut seemed to make herself believe it was OK if she slept with men for money because this was just a business transaction, but that she was a whore as soon as she slept with someone for free, just for her own pleasure. Very strange, but also very fascinating. The result of all the brain torturing was a compromise. She promised me that if I paid $S 50 to her now, she would see me twice for free in addition to that. I was moved, believe me.
Well, at this point you could object that for this amount of money (approx. 5000 Baht altogether) one could have had up to 10 girls in Thailand, depending on the circumstances. But that’s not the point. The point was that I was someone special for her and she made an exception from her normal "business regulations" and overcame the struggles with her conscience.
Now we had to hurry up a little because I didn’t want to miss out on my free breakfast which was available until 11 or so. After I had come back, Nut took me to an apartment where three of her friends lived, also charming girls, but not as beautiful. We sat on the bed and they gave me some fruit to eat and we talked a little. They paid around $S 45 for the big room with A/C and bathroom per day. All of them had regular customers who contacted them on their cellphone. "Oh, honey, it’s you! Do you want to see me?". It appeared that the small community of Thai girls stuck together very much outside the working hours. They went out to buy food together and ate it in their room while chatting and playing cards for money (Thais are gamblers!). This was a bit depressing, because Nut told me on some nights she made several 100 S$ and the next day, she lost all the money to her colleagues again. I felt a bit said for them because they cannot work in this business for a long time and they don’t realize there’s a big chance to save a huge amount of money (remember, this is Singapore) if they act responsibly, their only chance in fact. But that’s how Thai people are like: as soon as they have some money (or even before that point), they are eager to spend it (throw it out of the window, some of us would say), nobody thinks about the future. Saving is no value in itself. Anyway, we agreed that I would phone Nut the coming day to meet her in the evening. Then she went to bed (usually she slept from 10 am to 4 pm or so after coming from her „night shift“) and I went for sightseeing. The next evening around 6:30, I just tried to find her by knocking at the door of her friends‘ apartment, and she was really there and glad to see me. After spending some time there, we went up to my room for the first „free session“. Two hours later she left for work again. I said I didn’t want to see her on the following day, but the day after that (I was going to make a trip to Johor Bahru all day long, and then I wanted to save up our last meeting for my very last evening in Singapore). She was OK.
My last day was also quite exhausting as I went to see the zoo from late morning to early afternoon and then went on for some sightseeing in Chinatown. But all the time I was thinking of Nut and the wonderful time we would have on this last evening. I came back to the Guest House around 6:30 PM and met two of her friends in the passageway leading to the backyard. They told me Nut was in her room. When I said I would leave on the following day, they gave me a hearty farewell ("Good luck to you, na!") As I didn’t know where Nut’s room was, I tried to phone her. She seemed to be very tired and spoke very quietly, but she said she would come to my room. I waited and waited, but she didn’t appear. I already feared she would leave me in the lurch, or at least I was uneasy because I didn’t have so much time as I would have to get up at 5:30 next morning. Finally she came, but it was not going to be a happy rendezvous. She looked sick and tired, and the reason was that she WAS sick and tired. According to what she said, she had been on a trip to the shore with a customer or a group of people the day before and caught a cold after the heavy rainfall which I had also experienced in Johor Bahru. There was no way of having sex as she was totally miserable. All we could do was sitting on my bed and talking for one hour. We were in a sad mood. I had been looking forward to seeing her for 2 days, and now this. And she felt sorry to disappoint me, on the other hand. I think she even asked if I was angry at her. Of course I said, "No, I am not angry at you. How can I be angry? It’s not your fault. I am just very sad." And that was the truth. But I couldn't express all my feelings. It was a bit like a punch in the stomach, or the destruction of all your hopes in one second. I had imagined a joyful evening on the eve of my return to Europe, and now we were sitting there, not knowing what to say or how to say it, and the prospect was to let this sweet girl go like that without having the chance to see her again, then pack my things in a hurry in this shabby little room, then go to bed with gloomy thoughts, only to be woken up by the alarm clock at 5:30 after a sleep that was going to be too short, and to catch the first bus to the airport and leave Singapore and sleeping Nut behind for terrible every-day life at home. I wanted to take a photo of her on this last occasion, but first she objected feebly because she thought she looked awful on this day. I convinced her that she was still beautiful and took two pictures on which you can still see how sorry she was and tries to give me a smile at the same time. I asked if she could give me her address in Thailand so we could stay in contact after her return, but she thought it wasn’t a good idea. She had given away her address in the past to some men who she liked, but people had disappointed her by not keeping in touch. Altogether it was very depressing, but at least she did everything to show me her affection. What impressed me was how she told me "you are a good man." (this is a heartfelt compliment in Thai language.) At 8 PM she said she had to go now, and I didn’t hold her back because she was ill and I had no time left. We wished each other good luck, and off she went, never to be seen again.
I packed my things in a very dark state of mind and would have liked to cry like a child or vomit or cancel my flight. After a restless sleep, I had to hurry and catch the first bus, and after I had successfully seated myself with my backpack and stuff, I had time for reasoning again about my fate. This was the beginning of the most terrible and sad day I have ever had. On the bus I thought all the time, "Why must I leave, why must I leave? I don’t want to go, I don’t want to go…" with tears in my eyes, and I made the decision to get drunk on the flight I was going to my beloved BKK first, but couldn't stay there and had to change to Frankfurt instead. Total disaster Ironic thing was, the flight itself turned out to be the most agreeable flight I ever had. Fantastic service from the TG crew, fantastic weather, fantastic views out of the window, on both sectors. And I was sitting there, melancholic and grim, thinking about Nut with wet eyes, nevertheless trying to enjoy the flight because it was still 1000 times better than being at home. The view of Bangkok was just breathtaking. All the circumstances fitted perfectly because the plane passed the city to the west before making a curve to land from the north, the air was clear, the sky cloudless, I was seated on a window seat on the right side and the plane was inclining softly towards the city. I was able to spot so many single buildings, roads, parks and admire the loops of good old Chao Phraya River. Amazing…of course I had not a single photo left, and I could have used up a whole film. (I am still cooking with rage when I think back – how many opportunities like this do you get?) Many times on that day – and later – I thought or spoke to myself 'Nut, you are a good woman. From deep within my heart, I wish you and your family only the very best. And I will never forget you."
Some time after my return I sent a letter with the photos to Singapore, using the room number of Nut’s friends and not knowing if it would ever reach its destination. Over the time my emotions changed and she became less and less important, though I still feel grateful to her for everything she did and said during these 4 days. But in the meantime I have made so many new friends in Thailand and I stay in contact with many people via letters and e-mails. Let me stress again that this is maybe the best possible turning out. How long can you maintain such a relationship? It’s somewhat unreal. It’s a nice memory, but it’s far more important to have friends (who you don’t sleep with). This July (2001), one year after our parting, I received a letter from Phetchabun. It must be from Nut, though I cannot be absolutely sure because she didn’t use her nickname and I cannot remember her real name. But it says something about "thank you for sending the photos" and that she is back in Thailand and has married and that she doesn’t want me to write back because of her husband, but wishes me best of luck. I probably won’t see her again, but it’s a conciliatory ending to the story.
In February 2001 I was in Pattaya. One evening I ended up in "New Sexy 2001", a go-go bar on Walking Street. Actually I just wanted to bridge over some time before taking advantage of one of the happy hours in another spot. From the moment I entered there was a strange girl who was hopping around, hiding behind a column, peering at me and vanishing again, though I only noticed here incidentally at that time. I sat down and soon caught the attention of one particularly sweet, young dancing girl who would come over to my table and talk to me. She was really cute and I liked her instantly. I bought her a drink and she sat next to me or on my lap, leaving me only when it was her turn to dance. There were different groups of girls, dancing with bikinis, topless, and totally naked. She belonged to the last kind, sometimes wrapping up her slip around her thigh and moving around only in super-sexy, knee-high black latex boots. I was beginning to desire her more and more. She really looked like a sweet young angel.
Meanwhile, the other girl kept appearing next to me from time to time. She either didn’t belong to the bar at all, or maybe she had been barfined for a short-time before and returned in street clothes. She was sitting not very far from me with a customer and another girl (her friend), also in street clothes, who also had a customer. But she couldn't help looking in my direction, smiling at me and bursting out in giggles while hiding her mouth behind her hand. She was very short, with a gorgeous feminine body (I mean round and soft, with relatively large breasts). She had a piercing in her tongue which she liked to show in a somewhat obscene way, but altogether she just seemed to be very childish and playful. I am not very fond of piercings, but she turned me on. On several occasions she came over to my table, whether I was alone at that moment or not, and told me she liked me. I responded that I liked her too, but we didn’t really talk for a long time because she had to go back to her customer and also seemed to be a bit shy towards me. Her behaviour was quite odd, and I couldn't but I was fascinated. So there were two desirable women around me, but I had already made up my mind to barfine the lovely dancer. I didn’t want to lose this precious prey. In addition, the other girl had a customer already. Nevertheless, something had to happen with her. I wanted to know more about her and get the chance to meet her another day. Somehow it seemed there was an invisible band between us and everything would just develop. Finally I asked her for her name and she gave me a piece of paper with her nickname, Ef, and her cellphone number. I wasn’t sure if I would really have the chance to meet her again because I would leave Pattaya the following morning, but I swore myself that I would call her and try to meet her if I should return one day because she excited me. (You see, this is going to be her story, not the dancer’s one!)
So, we go on in April, when I came back to Pattaya during Songkran time for only one day on the way back to BKK from Chanthaburi and Rayong. After my arrival in the afternoon, I called Ef’s number, hoping she would be available. She answered, but she couldn't remember who I was when I told her I had met her 2 month earlier. She was currently sitting in a bar in Soi Yamato and we made an appointment there. 20 minutes later I was walking down the soi, fearing I would not find her because I had not understood the name of the bar. But suddenly I saw a conspicuous girl in front of a bar on the left, and she also showed some reaction after perceiving me. I went over, and it was really Ef, who suddenly recalled the whole story from the go-go bar at my sight. She was beaming with joy to see me again and led me inside to present me. Her friend (named Lek) was also there. They seemed to work for that bar, but maybe not regularly, and supposedly also had freelancer jobs. It turned out she and Lek were from some remote part of Buriram province and could also speak Khmer. Ef wasn’t exactly beautiful. Her face was, let’s say, average and she belonged to the typical Isaan variety of Thai women, short and very dark. (This is a point where we could start a general discussion about the beauty of women with dark skin and "true Thai" or Cambodian origin as compared to fair skin and Chinese / Vietnamese descent, completed by the preferences of farang men with regards to these matters; maybe Stickman is interested and will do that one day? Personally, I like both, or certain features in both of them.) At least she had a voluptuous body and was an exciting person, anyway. She had just turned 18 and was behaving like a 10 year old. Whenever the TV set in the bar showed a love scene where a man and a woman were kissing, she freaked out and screeched and told everybody "Look, look!" as if it was something utterly indecent, full of excitement. Nevertheless, she seemed to be a sort of nymphomaniac who really enjoyed her profession and really liked the company of farang men. (One of her favourite statements was, „When I am next to a man, I always get so hot!“, and she explained that she believed there was some kind of energy leaping over from my body to her body. Part of it was kidding and childishness, but it was apparent that she had taken a great fancy to me.) We sat inside the bar and had some drinks. In order to prove that she was "so hot", she used to get herself some ice cubes from time to time and chew on them. We recalled our first meeting and she stated that she had felt drawn towards me from the first moment. "When you came in, I thought LOOK AT THAT GUY!" she told me. (I am still wondering why so many Asian women seem to like me instantly, as I don’t consider myself to be a handsome guy, but well, it’s not the worst thing, is it?) Talking about this, you have to bear in mind she also had a very sexy, hoarse voice and a peculiar way of talking which I cannot describe satisfactorily. She thought I was a bit shy and decided to nickname me "little brother" (nong chai), notwithstanding the fact that I was about 25 cm taller and 7 years older than her. First I hadn’t been too sure if it would be such a good idea to take her to my hotel room, but now she was becoming more and more attractive to me. She was fascinating me. I thought (and still think) she acted a little bit exaggerated and was a crazy and somewhat depraved little creature, but at the same time I liked her very much especially because she appeared to be very warm-hearted. I mean, I don’t want to criticize her in any form and don’t want her to change her ways. She is just different from all the other girls I have met, though many of them are quite funny, too. (When I once told a nice young prostitute from Nongkhai in BKK that I was a student, she happily replied "I no student. Study make love!")
After I had gone away to have dinner alone (I also wanted to meet an acquainted girl – not a whore! – on this day, which would have been impossible in Ef‘s company, and she wasn’t hungry anyway) while she waited for me patiently, I barfined her and took her on a walk. We also had to buy condoms first in a 7/11, which is also slightly strange in Pattaya because it’s so normal, like buying milk. Nobody has to feel embarrassed at all. (On another day in Pattaya I was leaving my room around 10 in the morning when I passed a chambermaid at the end of the corridor. She asked me "Lady you sleep in room?" in order to know if she could tidy it up. I couldn't help grinning while shaking my head. They are simply assuming that a single man coming out of his room in the morning must have a Thai girl in his bed – and they’re talking about it in such a friendly, innocent way, as if they just wanted to ask you if you’d like to have a cup of coffee. That’s what makes Pattaya so special…of course the officials will claim that there is no such thing like prostitution in Pattaya, but on the other hand it’s established so firmly even in the minds of the people.) Ef still didn’t want to eat anything, so we returned to my room. We didn’t talk about money at all. I thought she couldn't be that expensive, and it didn’t really matter to me anyway. I just wanted her now.
I discovered she also had a piercing in one of her nipples, but she wasn’t really depraved, but rather a bit shy. What a contradictory being! Nevertheless, we had a great time (we had sex twice, in the evening and in the morning) and it was so nice to lie there the next morning with that soft, warm longhaired little girl slumbering in your arms. We got up and left together (I had to return to BKK). Still I didn’t dare to ask about the money, and she didn’t seem to be concerned about it, either. Didn’t she expect me to pay her? I wasn’t sure, I HAD to ask her. Not far from the hotel, our ways parted because she wanted to go to her apartment and go on with sleeping. We stood on Pattaya 2nd Road in a firm embrace (she was reaching to my chin) and told us how much we liked each other. I forced myself to ask her how much I should give her, and she rejected my concern without hesitating nor giving any explicit reasons. I didn’t insist on paying, but pressed her towards me, still a little bit unbelieving. I think her last words were "Give me a call some time" and "Good luck", then she went up a soi, turning around once more and beckoning to me. Sweet little thing. I was deeply moved and kept on thinking "what a kind girl is this…how do I deserve it?" all day long. I felt a lot of affection for her. I was so happy that I had tried to contact her and found her again.
Afterwards I realized she didn’t even smoke a cigarette all the time. Don‘t know if she is a non-smoker (not very probable for a Thai working girl) or if it simply wasn’t important to her. Later I called her several times from BKK. She was very happy and said she missed me. She didn’t want anything from me, she was just being kind, modest and good-tempered. I told her I thought she had a good heart, which flattered her very much.
1. It’s all about money. It’s a business like every other business. But if you are lucky and / or a nice guy, you might find an exception to the rule and make some deeply moving experiences. Anyway, Thai girls are not necessarily the most beautiful, but certainly the loveliest girls in the world, and in my opinion, Thai whores are still 1000 times better to deal with than any decent western woman.
2. Don’t get involved too much. Take it as a business and buy yourself some fun, but don’t let it come too close to your heart. It’s no use.
These are two VERY nice reports. I loved some of your observations such as the piece about how buying condoms at 7 Eleven in Pattaya is as normal as buying milk! With Nut, it is perhaps just as well that you left her when you did as it sounded as though there was a chance, as small as it may be, that things may have developed.