Your name is Xxx

Your name is Xxx, and you like to have sex with women you pay.

You are not short, fat or balding. You don’t wear flip flops or shorts when you go out.

You earn a very decent living.

Should you have an affair? That would involve an emotional commitment you are not ready to make.

When you pay for a girl everything is clear. You don’t love her and she doesn’t love you.

But you can still have fun together.

Someone once said “You don’t give a girl money to sleep with you, you give her money to go away after you have slept with her.”

There is truth in that.

Sometimes it is better to sleep alone. Sometimes it is better to sleep plastered against a warm body when the A/C is blasting and you wake up in the morning with dry mouth and someone next to you to wet it up. Sometimes you like vanilla and sometimes you like chocolate. Always you like to be able to choose.

You like to meet new people. You like to learn about their lives, and how they think. Their dreams and their desires and their hopes. You like to buy them dinner, and listen to them talk about their family, and maybe their baby, and the no good Thai man who got them pregnant. Usually you think they still love him.

You like to watch them watch TV, those stupid night time dramas that you can’t understand a word of. People are always fighting and screaming at each other, and behaving like you never saw any Thai behave. Whoever you are with for the night loves to watch. Maybe because they see something not real. Maybe because they want to be able to scream like the ladies on TV. And slap another girl’s face like they do every 15 minutes on the program.

You like to watch the girl's face as she watches the TV, biting her lower lip and hugging the pillow. You like to make love to her when the commercials come on and see the disappointment in her face when her program returns and you haven’t finished yet.

You don’t fall in love with them. (Well, maybe for the night.) You lock your valuables in a safe before you go out, and when the girl is in the shower you put everything of value away except for the money you will give them later (slipped into their purse when they are looking, never handed to them directly).

You always wear a condom. Maybe it doesn’t feel as good. Maybe it makes it harder for you to come. You don’t care. It is the right thing to do and your mother always told you to do the right thing.

Sometimes you listen to your mother.

You love to take them to restaurants and have them order every dish on the menu. So much food arrives you would think that it could feed the entire Russian army for a winter and have something left over to be sent to starving children in Africa. But for some reason, when you are not looking or maybe have gone to the bathroom, the food is all eaten. Maybe little men living under the table grabbed it all. Certainly the 47 kilo waif in front of you couldn’t have done so.

You never give them your ATM pin, nor your credit card. It’s not that you don’t trust them, it’s just that you wouldn’t give a little kid the keys to the candy store either. A six year old child is not a crook, but everyone can be tempted.

You expect that the moment they leave the room they will be looking for the next Mr. Right.

You take four showers a day when you are with them. One, in the morning, two, in the evening before you go out for dinner, three, when you come back and before you make love, four, after you make love.

Thai girls like to be clean. And they like it when you are clean.

Why do they lock the door when they go into the bathroom to shower? And what’s with the towel wrapped tightly around them when they come out? Won’t it come off real soon?

They also like it when you dress well. It doesn’t have to be Armani or Polo, but a clean shirt and slacks (never ever shorts or a t-shirt for going out).

You never try to talk politics with them. Or the state of world affairs. To be honest, you don’t discuss those things with your friends either.

You respect them, and never think of them as whores or prostitutes. You think of them as girls trying to earn a living the only way they can, to take care of their family.

You believe at heart they are all good girls, obedient to their parents, faithful to their friends, and observant to the Buddha. Maybe drugs, or the material life, or a bad boyfriend has caused them to stray, but there is good in all of them. You just need to find it.

Sometimes it is buried deeply.

Your eyes are open at all times.

Your name is Xxx, and you like to have sex with women you pay.

thethaiprofessor@yahoo.com.