Stickman's guide to Bangkok Reader's Submissions:
Thai Journal
By Caveman
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Arrived at airport just past midnight. I was lucky enough to have been seated between 2 ladies during the USA-Japan leg of the flight, and the Guatemalan was a real classy act. Her name was Emma. Said goodbye to them in Japan and continued a boring and painful flight to the LOS. Check-in and customs at Bangkok was quick and easy, thank God, and I checked into the Honey Hotel off Sukhumvit, a hotel which I would definitely recommend. Then I took a walk along Sukhumvit. I was amazed at the sheer number of available women. They were all so young and many of them were so beautiful, I just walked by with a shit-eating grin on my face. I couldn't believe some of the vendors and what they had for sale along Sukhumvit. They had what looked to be deep-fried insects, to include worms, crickets, cockroaches, and a huge, longlegs thing with big, black, beady eyes that was about 3 inches long with striped wings. I think I would rather eat dog shit.The area about Sukhumvit struck me as being really seedy and dirty, and I didn’t really feel too comfortable. I found an English speaking guy and asked him the whereabouts of a suitable establishment in the area, since most everything was closed by this time, it being after 2 AM. He directed me to the coffee shop in the Grace Hotel, where I proceeded forthwith. Hung out a while and found it not to be to my liking. Trashy clientele, the young and trouble making type. Fucking punks! I was walking out the door when in walked a really hot looking young Thai girl who really caught my eye (as if so many others didn’t). I asked her stupidly, “Are you sure you're old enough to get into here?” Even that was enough to gain her favour. We were soon on our way back down into the disco of the Grace Hotel, where I paid for her entry and her friends. Next thing I know, this creepy type fag mother fucker white guy, in an elbow-to-elbow environment, walks right up to me belly-to-belly and tells me that he thinks I’m sexy. I’m quite irritable and so I tell him that he needs to get the fuck away from me and give me some space. I really do not want to get into an altercation on my first night in LOS. After about 10 seconds of staring at me, he does, and my little lady friend drags me further away from him to prevent a fight. I was livid. We leave the hotel and head for my room. At this point, we still have not negotiated her fee for usage, and we wait until we get into my room. Before we do, I check all my money into the hotel safe, which appears to be quite a safe place to store valuables. Once in the room, we negotiate. “How much?” I ask. “How much you pay?” she asks. “I pay no more than 1000 baht LT”. This is the predetermined amount that I decided that I would pay to any woman before my arrival to this fucking land of paradise. She gives me a strange stare as if she were trying to gauge how much I could afford, but she was surprised, too. “I never go for less than 2000 baht.” I remind her that it is now 3 AM and that she is lucky to have a customer at all. There are hundreds of ladies out there. Still she did not budge on her price. I finally tell her that I will pay no more than 1000 baht and that if she refuses, I will simply give her the 50 baht taxi fare back to the Grace Hotel where she can try her luck! She looks surprised at this point, but still does not budge. Evidently, she is used to guys caving in to her super looks, but she did not reckon on this fucking anal retentive stud! Picture: we are still clothed, but she is riding me hobby-horse. I put my shirt back on and take her by the hand to the lobby where I get my cash from the safe. I then quickly put her into a waiting taxi outside the hotel, where she is still staring at me with a somewhat surprised look. I really could not believe that she was going to stand fast when I was offering her a fair 1000 baht at 3 AM. Hey, I put her cute ass into the taxi and sent her off. Spent the rest of the night alone chafing the bishop (for free). I will not be part of the “overpaying/overpricing problem! Thank you to my God: STICKMAN.
Could not really get any sleep, but got up, ate, and got a bus to Pattaya. I must say that Pattaya really feels more comfortable than Bangkok. It is still a bit seedy, but Sukhumvit is worse. Sukhumvit is filthy by any Western standards. After checking into the Apex (thanx, Stick!) took a walk and was flagged by numerous women in the beer bars. Finally met my buddy Felipe and we went to the Winchester Club in Jomtien, as I had wanted to do. I had done my web research. This place is really great! The women are really sweet and good and are not shy. Great music, which was 60’s-70’s rock. The free Sunday buffet was OK but overrated. My very first bar beauty was A. She was gorgeous and spoke very little English. Felipe also had no problem in finding a beauty of his own that was quick to fondle his male iron. I was still on no sleep, but my crank was fast asleep. I don’t think A could even find it, although she did exert considerable effort trying. I finally took her up to room #4, where she proved to be fabulous. She refused me nothing, and I soon awoke in every way. We showered and she cleaned the dog shit out of me. We took the entire 90 minutes and did every sexual act that I cared to engage in. Again, she was a real pleaser. The fact that she spoke almost no English mattered nothing. I finally went back downstairs and she followed soon after. I asked her if she would like to leave with me for the evening. She seemed to agree but also seemed hesitant, as if she did not understand me or something. She then left for some reason for a short while, and Felipe talked me out of taking her. We headed quickly outside to make a getaway and she tracked my ass down. She was just about crying. I apologized and left anyway. Wow, I might still go back for her. I felt guilty about it. Oh, I almost forgot about a very good part of all of this. When I did ask her how much her services would cost me, she replied, “room 250 baht, I free.” She was going to fuck me for free! What a pleasant change from the night before. I was only planning on giving her 500 baht for ST, but due to her excellent attitude I gave her 1000. She deserved every cent. As I type this, I still think I’ll have to go back for seconds, maybe even today.
Felipe and I went out to Classroom Gogo and barfined 2 beauties. I agreed to 1000 baht with mine. She said that she usually gets more but would for some reason make an exception with me (right!). Who was I to argue? She was a slim beauty and told me her name, but I promptly forgot it for the rest of our time together, which did not matter a whit! I cornholed the living garbage out of her that night and the next morning. Her fine snapper tasted like the back of my hand. Of course I used a rubber, as I did on the previous occasion. I loved her really good (she didn’t exactly let me down either) right up until the time that I shipped her out on a taxi after feeding her breakfast. OK, day #1 in Pattaya is complete, and I have bagged 2 absolute beauties. This could get really interesting.
Went to gym after sending off the beauty from Classroom whose name still eludes me. The gym is Universe Gym on Beach Rd. It was incredibly hot and humid in that place, and I began to feel dehydrated as hell. I thought it was just the heat, but I was really dizzy after my workout and my clothes were soaked with sweat. I visited the toilet a couple times with a stomach ache and crapped a dark brown liquid. For the rest of the day and night I felt weary and sick. Not certain if it was anything other than dehydration, but an upset stomach did accompany. Even if you think you are properly hydrating in this place, you may not be. I’m feeling a little better this morning, but still queasy.
After chilling with Felipe a while after the gym and checking my emails next door to the Apex and eating, we went back to the area where the Classroom is. We went into Spicy Girls Too and did not bag anyone. We then went a few doors down and past a fag joint where the guys were leering at me. It was uncomfortable and disgusting to have those fags ogling at me. Anyway, went into Spicy Girls and barfined B after no haggling about price. I asked her how much, and she responded almost apologetically 1000 baht, as if I would not be willing to pay that much. I agreed immediately and this seemed to make her happy. Hey, I was feeling ill and was in no mood to hang out anyway. She was a really cute 23 year old Isaan beauty with the most compact little ass you can imagine. She had her hair died brownish blonde and cut relatively short: it looked good. She also had a designer tattoo on the small of her back. I was so tired that we just went immediately back to my place, much to Felipe’s chagrin. Jorge, the companion he came from the Bronx with has not gone out with him so far in this trip as I can tell. He also stayed in last night. So I left Felipe alone. Ann turned out to be good company, although I did detect some emotional baggage in her cute little head, possibly caused by the language communication barrier. Her English was poor, but as always, you find ways to work around it. Her skills were OK and did the job. Could definitely use a lesson in slobbing the knob. The only good BJ so far was A from Winchester. Actually, the way I felt, I was surprised that I was even able to get it up. It was a struggle, but once I got into the pumping mode, I lasted for about a half hour or so. Up to this point, A was the only one who made any noise during sex. Up until now also, A was my first and best. Maybe I will have to go back for her. As I type this, I feel like doing it.
Woke up this morning and got a massage from B and sent her off quickly as I went to the excellent breakfast buffet behind the Apex for 85 baht. Unbefuckingly believable. Only in the LOS.
Day 3 and I was still sick from dehydration and/or the shits. Felt like absolute shit for most of the day and into the night. Went and bagged A from Winchester Club again and spent a lot of time shitting my brains out and with a stomach ache while she was in the room with me. It was embarrassing. This lack of English speaking is actually getting on my nerves, too. It has its positives but also its drawbacks. I did summon up the energy to go out to a shopping mall with A and buy her some clothes: my idea. The shoes and dress she was wearing looked like shit. I also got the chance on the taxi ride back from Jomtien to get a gander at the place she lives in. I think I would rather live in a sewer. Anyway, we went to Royal Garden Plaza Mall and I got her a nice pair of shoes, levis, and a nice t-shirt that improved her clothing appearance 1000%. She really looked normal after this re-do and looked much more sexy and appealing out of her other attire. Her company did get old, though, and I was glad to ship her away in a taxi the next morning. Oh, while shopping, it was interesting how, after picking out the garments, she held her nose slightly in the air, and said, “You pay”. This goes along with what Stick tells us, that she gained face by having a “rich” falang there with her and willing to buy her things. I was her walking ATM. Hey, I didn’t mind. It was my idea anyway. I actually found it funny.
Next morning, I decided to rent a motorcycle. This has proven to be a good idea. It’s a Honda Shadow 750 (I think), and I have been cruising it all over town. Highlight of the daytime was the cruise that Felipe and I took up to the town of Naklua. This is some really back-woods Thailand for this area and we met some really neat locals. We stopped in front of a firehouse and played some sporting games with the firemen, all of whom were friendly local Thais who welcomed us with open arms to join them in their games. I also got some freshly cooked chicken from a street vendor and grossly overpaid him. He wanted 3 baht per piece and I gave him 40 baht for 3 or 4 pieces. The chicken was not good; there was little meat on it. It was mostly skin, so I fed it all to a dog that looked like it was going to die any minute. This mangy, scared, and starved creature was afraid of me, but soon warmed up when I began feeding him. He was not accustomed to being fed and stayed for everything I could give him. I probably gave him as much food as he gets in a couple of days and it gave me great pleasure to help this poor, tortured, pock-marked, flea-bitten creature. After this jaunt in Naklua, Felipe, Jorge and I went out to the Thai boxing in front of the Dollhouse on Walking Street. This place was a zoo. First we sat at Tony’s, which is right across the street from a ladyboy cabaret (a bunch of fucking transtesticles), then headed to watch the Thai boxing. These guys were really great and beat the living shit out of one another. It is the custom to give the boxers some money after they fight, so I decided that I would give money only to the losers. Heck, I felt sorry for the poor bastards. They got the living shit kicked out of them so the least I could do was help foot the hospital bill. One of the winners approached me and actually asked me for money. I gave him none and I don’t think it endeared me to him. I didn’t like to be asked outright. If a tipper is going to tip, he needs to do it on his own. Oh, there was also a snake charmer in the ring who was putting his face right up to the face of a cobra. He appeared to have been bitten a couple of times in the hand during his manoeuvres and that must have hurt. I think he must have developed some sort of immunity because I saw no blood and he kept right on charming those cobras. What fucking balls. What a way to make a living. After the Thai boxing/snake charming, we went into the Dollhouse. The girls were really awesome looking and I wanted to get me an English speaking girl for the night. The real spectacle was caused by Felipe and a British girl he had befriended from his hotel. She was hanging out with us, much to my disgust. She was a real pig and was with us the entire evening kissing her Thai female companion and the bargirls. One of the bargirls even sucked her tit right in the bar. Felipe thought the world of this woman but I thought her to be a real sloppy pig with no redeeming qualities. Overweight, sleazy, never shut the fuck up, etc, etc, etc. She also had a tongue ring as if she couldn't get sleazy enough. She was without a doubt sleazier than any of the prostitutes that I have seen down here and I would kick her so far out of bed it wouldn't even be funny. Both Felipe and Jorge thought I was crazy when I told them what I thought of her, but by the end of the night with this thing sticking her tongue down Felipe’s throat as if to label him the way a cat pisses on its territory, he soon began agreeing with me and even admitted it. It’s nice to have the last word on things. Anyway, I wound up bagging a young lady who appeared quite attractive and had a tattoo of some sort of knife on her right arm. She was really sexy and I got my first chance at actually having to successfully negotiate for services. She wanted 1500 baht but I would only pay 1000. She reluctantly agreed after a little while. I liked it when she was fondling me at the seating area. She had my member in her hand and said, in typical bargirl style with a look in her eye that could melt a fucking iceberg, “I want smoke you.” Wow, if that's not enough to draw the fucking sperm all the way from your toenails, I don’t know what is. She changed into street attire just before we left and looked really good. She was wearing jeans and an American flag shirt. When we walked out, things started going wrong right away. She appeared either drunk or drugged. I didn’t know what was up with this because she appeared OK in the bar. I only bought her 1 drink with alcohol in it but she must have been getting more in the back. We made it to my room with her on the back of my bike and she immediately went into the bathroom and puked her fucking guts out. Wow, what a situation to be in. I didn’t know whether to call an ambulance or what. She showered afterward and I had to piss like a race horse, so I did what any red-blooded American male would do. I pissed in a cup and threw it out the window of the hotel room (only the piss; hey, I’m no litterbug. “Look out below”.). Ah, the sweet memories of such romantic times. She finally emerged from the bathroom and passed out stark naked on the bed without being able to provide services. I did have a really good time watching her on the bed, though. It dawned on me just now that I could have gotten some really good photos with the position she was in, all curled up in a ball. She was completely passed out. I just tucked her into the bed and went to sleep myself (honest!). So much for getting a bargirl who speaks better English. I woke up to her clutching my cock. We went through a very mechanical sex session which really disappointed me. She had a really nice body and nice face with sagging tits, but she was really very mechanical. Where are all these sensuous bargirls that I hear everybody talking about? Am I picking the wrong ones? I guess you just have to keep sampling until you get it right. She even left after the sex like the fucking place was on fire. I want a woman who speaks English with you and wants to have breakfast and doesn’t look sleazy. A has all that except for the English skills. None. She IS sleazy but doesn’t look it. This will be Felipe’s last day before he heads back to the Bronx. The bargirl scene is actually getting old after only a few days. And I thought I was sex starved.
Well, this is the last day that I have to spend here with Felipe in Pattaya. He splits at 4 AM tomorrow. Nothing much occurred today, which is Thursday. Took the motorcycle for another day and cruised a bit. The very pretty room attendant at the Apex saw the cheap watch in my room which I purchased to give someone as a gift, but it was broken. She asked for it, saying “Can I have? No money.” She then showed me her personal watch, which was broken and in tatters. Her name is Z, and she is gorgeous and young, maybe about 26. I absolutely love the way she cleans the rooms in her bare feet. Wife material! I promptly went out and bought a watch for her for 1400 baht on Walking Street and she absolutely lit up when I gave it to her. “Oh, you good for me”, was her response, and she gave me a hug. Hey, this made my day, too.
Got a Thai massage today, which was not the sex-type. It was painful and I would not recommend one to anyone. In fact, this woman who gave me the massage, who was maybe about 55 years old, even realigned my spine, a procedure which was very uncomfortable. I think one of the sex soapy massages would be a better experience than this. It only cost 100 baht for ½ hour. But why pay for pain? I realized no positive medicinal value from it. In fact, I felt as if my spine was broken for the rest of the day. Went back to Felipe’s hotel and he had 2 women there; one of them was his and the other was a friend of hers. His speaks no English and he was saying things like, “So, I think I’m going back into the room for a bit and fuck the living shit out of this whore.” She just sat there smiling, not knowing what the fuck was being said. She could not have been happier, because in reality he was treating her like a queen. She was a real stunner, too. 21 years old and drop-dead gorgeous. Felipe is definitely in love. He intends to keep in touch with her. I told him that I intended to fuck her as soon as he left and he actually got jealous. I told him, “I’m going to fuck Mrs Rodriguez (his last name) as soon as you leave her.” Anyway, we finally went out to Tony’s Disco and played some pool after finding a wench of my own. This little thing is a real charmer and is waiting for me right next door in my room as I type this. We’re off to the beach after this. She is from Laos and told me a story about why she is here in Pattaya making money for her poor family back home. Her English is actually OK compared to the other women I’ve been with. Her name is C and she is 21 and weighs maybe 89 pounds soaking wet. She is the cutest, most petite thing you could ever imagine.
Dropped off the cycle I rented this morning and the guy who rented the thing to me tried to withhold my 1000 baht deposit. These guys are crooked. He was very evasive and tried to feign not understanding what I wanted. C was with me the whole time and told me that indeed they were dishonest because she heard everything they were telling each other in Thai. The guy finally forked over my deposit after I mentioned the words “tourist police”. For those renting motorcycles down here, be careful of these shiftless fucks. They try to overcharge you for the bike to begin with, although they are very inexpensive by western standards. Then they try to steal your deposit.
Well, I’m off to see the Wizard. To the beach then to the Hard Rock with my little tee-ruk. Boom, boom, boom, let me get my ass up to my room.
I left off on my last full day, where I had C waiting for me in my room at the Apex while I checked my emails. Afterward, we went to the beach and relaxed while she taught me some Thai. I also tried some dried squid from a beach vendor and liked it. A little boy came by and solicited C to give him 20 baht for which he freed a couple of birds from one of the many cages he was holding. Evidently, freeing these birds is supposed to give you good luck. I’m sure that an hour later, he could recapture the poor things and regenerate his revenue. We left the beach and went to the Hard Rock. I paid 250 baht for each of us and I swam while C stayed pool side and listened to the live music they had. There were not too many people there, which surprised me because it was a Friday. After going back to the hotel and showering, we went and did some shopping along Beach Road and then went back to the Hard Rock where we ate, drank, listened to some decent western-type music and then retired for the evening. I must say that the Hard Rock is a good place to go if you want some western influence in Pattaya regarding music and food. The food is really western, as are the prices. If you need a good burger, chicken fingers & fries, or other western dish, it is the place to go. In the morning, I sent C off sadly after having breakfast with her. Of the ladies that I spent time with, she had been my clear favourite. If I were staying longer in Pattaya, I would not have searched for a different woman to spend my time with: it would have been C. She had class, was really pretty, and we really liked one another. “Tonight I have you, tomorrow I no have you,” she said. I was thinking the exact same thing. We developed a definite affinity for one another. I will enjoy seeing her on a return trip. I truly wish her the best. Contrary to Almighty Sticks advice, I gave her my email address.
CONCLUSIONS
1. Thailand is fucking awesome and I will definitely be back. Those with little self-discipline should be cautious: it could eat you alive.
2. Bargirls/Punters. There is a lot of bad juju floating around about bargirls and their bad qualities. They lie, cheat, steal, drink too much, take drugs, chisel money out of unsuspecting falangs, have serious personal problems, etc. While much of this may be true for a good number of them, I have found the bargirls to be a wonderful bunch of people to spend time with. I love the way they cajole you into their bars with their shouting comments about “handsome man”, screaming, laughing, and the like. They give you the true Pattaya experience. I suppose it could get old after a while but it was really fun for me and a real change of pace from my exposure to western women, who are some real fucking ogres compared to these fun chicks. I could definitely put the average bargirl up against the average western woman and the bargirl would win the suitability contest for me, at least in the short run and probably also in the long. As Stick has said, my liking for bargirls is a combination of liking them and rejecting western women. I’m tired of the power games that American women play with their nasty pussies, using sex for power leverage and their own twisted motivations. A smile from a cheery bargirl is a welcome sight. I read a submission on Sticks site that a particular reader believed that these women were the lowest common denominator among the Thais. “They have chosen the easy way out. The Thai farm people are a happy people and these women are under no compulsion to leave their native areas and go to Bangkok or Pattaya to sell themselves. They are lazy.” This is not an exact quote, but the gist of the guy’s comments. He made many more criticisms of the bargirls and the way of life that they have chosen. This guy has the wrong perspective. As of writing this entry, I have now been to the upcountry of Thailand and have explored a lot. I have seen the conditions in which these women and their families live. They are deplorable. American dogs live in better conditions, even the ones that live only in their owners’ backyards. Maybe about .00001% of westerners would have the moxie to live in conditions such as these. These families live in shacks that are not even houses by western standards. They are open shacks and are filthy, hot, and humid. Their buffalo and other animals often live in these premises with them. Imagine yourself sleeping 6 feet from the asshole of a water buffalo at 3 AM when it decides to empty its bowels. Imagine a centipede crawling across your face as you sleep. Imagine a cobra biting your fucking nuts as you dream a simple dream of working the rice fields. Imagine backbreaking farm labour for which you are paid a few thousand baht per month. Imagine eating very little meat in your diet and having to eat insects for protein. I watched a woman eat cockroaches mixed with rice. I actually bought a bag of insects for one gentleman just to watch him eat them. He actually appeared to like them. I would have to be near death before I would eat such crap. These poor girls of the Thai upcountry have no hopes of bettering themselves or their lot. If I were one of them, I would find the bars in Pattaya a tempting place to try and get myself out of a fucking hellhole. I cannot blame them one bit for doing what they do. Watch out when you take the moral high ground: NEVER JUDGE A PERSON UNTIL YOU WALK A MILE IN THEIR SHOES. I feel sorry for these girls. I will always treat them with the dignity and respect they deserve. If you are a falang who has been cheated by a bargirl or who has sent money overseas after being given empty promises: TOO BAD. If you are stupid enough to believe the lies, then you deserve what you get. CAVEAT EMPTOR means “buyer beware”. You should know what you are dealing with. Use your street smarts (if you have any). The fact that many punters are cheated by some dishonest bargirls is a reflection of their own gullibility. Why are the women there? They are there to make money. Many may fall in love with a falang, but their main motivation is to make money for themselves and/or their families upcountry. You should know better and cannot blame the bargirls any more than you can blame a car salesman for trying to make a commission. It’s a cruel world: survival of the fittest. They didn’t make the rules: they cope with them. Hey, the bargirls are better people overall than the punters that I have seen! The punters are a sad fucking lot. Yeah, there are some normal guys there just to have fun (like me, of course). But there are some really sad looking fucks out there. I’m sure that these guys cannot find themselves a sex partner in their native country and are therefore in Pattaya because there is nowhere else to go. Fortunately, these women are not compelled to sleep with falangs that they don’t like. I feel sorry for those girls who do. Never before in my life have I seen a man of 63 with a woman of 22: only in Pattaya. Are you saying that these women are doing it for anything other than money? Stop fooling yourself. If you believe anything different, you are as dumb as the day is long and you deserve every dirty trick the bargirls can concoct to relieve you of the proceeds of your bank account. Regarding sending money to bargirls: why not? I might send some money to my little Sweety-Pie C. However (and this is the big caveat), I will expect nothing in return. That’s right: NOTHING. I will be giving the girl a few bucks out of the kindness of my heart because I believe she needs it and I like her. I will expect nothing in return. If you are sending money to a bargirl in expectation that she will keep some promises to you (that is, you send money CONDITIONALLY), you are definitely a sucker. The only thing I will expect for any money I send is that she fuck my brains out if I see her again in Pattaya. In the words of Andrew “Dice” Clay: END OF STORY.
3. Bangkok vs Pattaya. Although I saw only a small bit of Bangkok, I would definitely prefer Pattaya. The women are just as good, cost less, and Pattaya seems cleaner. Sukhumvit is a fucking sewer. It is absolutely filthy. The one woman I picked up, and she was a freelancer and it was after 2 AM, still would not perform for less than 2000 baht. I sent her chiseling ass away in a taxi (much to her surprise). Again, I saw little of Bangkok. I would have liked to see Soi Cowboy, but still would not have paid more than 1000 baht to any woman.
4. Compensation for Bargirls. I ran the full spectrum of negotiating services from bargirls. Having decided that I would pay no more than 1000 baht LT, I found 1 that would not come down to that level. She happened to be in Bangkok, which does not endear me to that place. I then went down to Pattaya and my first real barfine was with a real cutie from the Winchester Club, which I would highly recommend. “How much?” “Room 250 baht, I free.” That was my kind of rate. She completely set the right mood for me and it was a real turn-on that she wanted to do me for free after my episode in Bangkok. I paid her 1000 baht anyway. Hey, you guys who do not pay because you are not billed are the equivalent of human filth. These girls need the money and are sometimes embarrassed to actually present you a bill, as the Stick says. Pay the fucking girls, you tightwad bags of shit! Anyway, I also talked one girl down from 1500 to my 1000 level. She happened to be the worst. I also used Sticks advice (but he also says you should be cautious when you do this!) and did not even negotiate with one. We got along so well that I just knew that she would gladly accept 1000 or whatever I decided to give her. I therefore simply placed 1000 baht on her handbag each morning we were together. No problem.
5. SCAMS. The only scam that I could advise on that I have not seen Stick cover is the rental of motorcycles. These rental guys are crooks. First, always negotiate the rate. They will always come down from the first quote. The cycles will be cheap any way you do it, though. They will be about 15% of what you would pay in the USA. Most importantly, make sure you get back a day before your departure date because you may have to hunt down the rental guy to get your deposit back. When I finally tracked his scumbag ass down, he did not want to give me back my deposit. Finally, when I said the words “tourist police”, the asshole forked over my deposit.
6. Bargirl Choice. It took me a few girls before I got it right. There is a wide range of women in Pattaya. A couple of them were OK, but when I found “the right one”, I knew it. Keep searching until you find one that clicks. I didn’t think I needed one that speaks any English, but after a few days, you get tired of hand signals and grunting. My last one was perfect and I will look for her immediately on my next visit.
Stickman says:
A refreshingly, honest trip report that I thoroughly enjoyed. We might not agree on everything, but I still enjoyed it very much. You made some very good observations too about village life, diet, negotiating and motorbike rental to name just a few things.
To contact the author of this article: cromagnon9669@yahoo.com
All feedback is welcome - please forward email to stickmanbangkok@gmail.com.