Stickman's guide to Bangkok

Readers' Submissions

Thai Journal 3

By Caveman

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Indonesia Hotel Guide

• Grage Jogja Hotel • Sahid Raya Hotel • Santika Jogja Hotel • Amanjiwo Hotel

The purpose of this submission is to serve as a journal of this, my 3rd trip to Thailand, which lasted 29 days, and also to serve as a submission to Stickman's site.  Names have been masked for privacy’s sake.  This journal contains my experiences, thoughts, observations, and opinions in a very open and direct manner.  I experienced a lot during this trip; consequently, my opinions may have changed even during my stay on many issues; hence, there may be a contradiction or 2.

Flew in on China Air and arrived @ 0100 on 1 Dec.  As always, a long and painful flight from the US.  The Japanese guy next to me on the last leg of the flight had breath that smelled like he swallowed 10 fucking dead rats that got lodged in his throat.  I swear to God it was so bad my eyes were burning.  Arrived BKK, got into airport taxi and the speedometer was busted (rigged?).  Maybe Stick can comment on this.  His speedometer was registering about 160-180 kph on the highway (and he was doing about 100 max), and the meter seemed to be going pretty fast.  Last time I took a ride from Honey to airport, it was 143 baht, but this time it was 235 (going the other direction).  Was I robbed?  Did this guy have one of those rigged meters?

Arrived at Honey Hotel at about 2:15 AM and there were plenty of available ladies strolling along Sukhumvit.  So what does this old fuck do?  Didn't even go out for a walk this time.  I can just imagine what kind of prices these BKK sluts will be demanding these days; besides, I don't really care for 'freelancers'.   Honey Hotel free breakfast sucked.  They were out of ham, and gave me some sausage which was really just a small hot dog.  Would not eat it.  Requested tea, gave me coffee.....need I continue?  Walked out just saying "mai dee, mai dee", but didn't bother to explain or complain to the staff.....it's useless.  Just shrug it off with a smile and don't let it ruin your life.

Took a bus to Pattaya (bought an extra seat for my luggage as usual) and ran into/chatted with an old expat on the bus who came over from Pittsburgh, PA, which is close to where I was born in the States.  Old Army retiree who's now 67 and married to a young Thai lady who looked to be about 1/3 his age.  Hey, whatever.  Enjoyed chatting with him.

Checked into Apex Hotel and then walked about trying to find a motorcycle to rent.  Found a beautiful Honda Magna (I used to own one) for just 3000 baht/week.  Not too bad.  These bikes are fast 750 V4-cylinder bikes with a cruiser-type frame and a sport engine and lots of chrome.  Then went to look for a lady with whom I became acquainted the last time I was here.....could not find her (L).  Bummer.....she really took care of me.  Oh, well, as everybody knows, there are PLENTY of fish in this sea.  But it would have been really nice to find her.  There's still another I’d like to check on later.

Left off yesterday afternoon after I failed to find L, the lady from the bar next to Apex.  That did bum me out a little.  I would really have enjoyed seeing her.  Anyway, went to Apex dinner buffet and chowed down on numerous plates of meat for a paltry 160 baht.   There's no way they can be making money on people like me.  Maybe they make it up on some of the old ladies that go there, I don't know.  Anyway, then tried to find another lady acquaintance (K) and came up empty again.  Could not find K.  But I did run into a friend of hers that told me that she now has a farang husband who has 'big money', she is pregnant, and is doing OK in jolly old England.  Well, good for her.  Hopefully he'll keep her out of the bar.  Scooted the town a little after looking for K and hung out at a beer bar where a fucking ladyboy was leering at me in the most disgusting manner.  Had one Carlsberg and bolted the hell out of there while still in possession of the contents of my gorge.  Headed to another beer bar a bit north of Apex and found a real gem of a petite young lady with light skin.  25 years old, maybe 88 lbs soaking wet, and the prettiest, most demure face you could want.  She does not have the look of a bargirl, nor does she dress like one.  We chatted a while, and to my surprise, she had many intelligent questions besides just the normal “Where you fum?  What you name?” etc.  Things warmed up really well for us at the bar and at the end of the night when we got back to the room, her inhibitions (if she had any to begin with) seemed to evaporate.  Who's complaining?  While I resist getting into bedroom Olympics details, I will say that she has the habit of announcing her orgasms very much out loud, which is a rare trait as far as my experience goes.  I mean, you can usually tell, but she removes all doubt with her very particular verbiage delivered with considerable volume.  I found it funny and entertaining.

Woke up this morning and chowed down heavy at the Apex breakfast buffet with S.  Ate 4 plates of food and she could not even manage 1 small one.  She just sat there and watched me stuff my piehole.  Could have fit more, but I didn't want to have a busting gut for the beginning of my workout, where I'm heading after this.  Onto Universe Gym.  I think I'll also have to look around town for a better gym than this one.  Universe Gym is really quite lame.  I need more than they have, although I can make do.  For most fitness enthusiasts who just want to exercise a bit or break a sweat, this critique may be a bit harsh on this gym: it certainly has enough equipment to get by with.

Dropped off S and got in a long workout.  [Side note: Some fitness enthusiasts take a break from their exercise routine while on vacation.  Personally, I have never done this.  Since fitness is a lifetime endeavor, it should be done at all times, in my opinion.  If anything, my workout schedule ramps up during vacations because my available time is greater.]  Picked her up at dinner time and she was complaining that she was sick and had been puking that day.  Went to dinner with her and she actually had to leave the dinner table to go to the rest room, where she heaved up everything she ate.  I felt terrible for her.  She said that there was no pain, but that she just could not keep her food down today, almost as if she were pregnant (she does have a kid, so she knows the feeling of being pregnant).  She also feels weak.  Went and got her some pepto bismol (Thai equivalent), and also gave her some yogurt mixed with psyllium husk, which she managed to keep down, and made her pump some water.  Dr Caveman to the rescue.  She feels better this morning, but chose not to accompany me to breakfast.  No problem, since she eats like a parakeet anyway.  Gave her another cup of yogurt with psyllium husk in the hotel room and took her back to her apartment.  She says she lives with her brother.  I told her I would like to meet him.  Yes, we all know who that "brother" might really be, right?  Well, let's see what a family resemblance there is.  Surprisingly, she smiled broadly at my suggestion that I meet him, so maybe he really is her brother.  I'll meet him tonight at his place of employment.  After dinner, we did meet little brother, and I was convinced that it is, indeed, her brother.  Amazing.  Then we went to check out the Thai boxing, then back to the hotel room and crashed.  BTW, S initially struck me as demure, but she certainly likes sex!  She is becoming quite aggressive with her hands regardless of where we are.  Some guys like this, but I prefer to save it for the right place/time, and I actually had to mention it to her.  My God, when I even suggested that maybe we should just crash without having sex, her face twisted into a Philly soft pretzel and I thought she was going to cry.  Maybe she thinks she won’t get paid if we don’t do it.  What she should really be concerned with is maybe spending a few minutes giving me a small massage or just scratching my back, just like the Caveman likes and always requests.  ‘Come on, honey.  Run those slender fingers through the Caveman’s fur, would you?’

At this point, my studying of Thai has already paid dividends.  In fact, I speak as much Thai to S and the others as I do English, probably more.  Figured I'd be able to merely get around with my small knowledge of the language, but it appears that I'm able to do a bit better than that at this point.  I am usually not misunderstood now with things like ordering food, requesting some special service, regular greetings or inquiries, questions or comments, or just about anything.  It's amazing what a small grasp of the language can do for you.  My comprehension of spoken Thai needs a lot more work, but I am quite able to make myself understood.  All I've done is go out and buy a Thai-English dictionary, a text book, and a small Lonely Planet Thai phrase book, while also supplementing heavily with some Thai/English cassette tapes and CD's, the kind you can listen to when you're driving.  You can get all these from any good book store in the States.  The audio media are useful in giving you good pronunciation, which is crucial for the Thai language, which is heavily reliant on tones.  I would strongly recommend all frequent Thailand visitors to do the same.  Don’t keep your head in the clouds.  It is amazing how much easier and more enjoyable things can be if you have even a simple grasp of the language.  The Thais will also have more respect for you, too.  I have always thought it questionable that so many English speakers expect all others in the world to be able to speak English, but rarely make any effort to learn other languages.  This is too egocentric.  And now I can practice my skills here for the entire duration of my stay.  After the end of 4 weeks, there should be an even greater difference.

Diet tip: bring some 'psyllium husk' with you from Farangland, or you can buy it in Thailand in pharmacies under the name “mucillin”, for about 260 baht per container, which is a good price.  Psyllium is a simple vegetable, the seed husk of which is processed into a powder that is practically pure fiber, containing 6 times the fiber of oat bran.  With so little time to ensure that you're getting the right things in your meals while on holiday, this stuff guarantees that you'll be getting adequate fiber regardless of whether you eat no fruits or veggies at all, or have no other fiber intake.  It is also great and highly recommended for those on high protein diets, like the now popular Atkins Diet.  Just 3 teaspoons a day does it.  It can be mixed with any liquid, but I add it to my cottage cheese (with water) when back in the States.  Not able to find cottage cheese here in LOS, I mix it with yogurt.  Just be sure to drink water or other liquid along with it, because it's thick and you can choke if you don't.  This stuff will keep your insides SQUEAKY CLEAN: you'll be crapping like a champ.  Your digestion and intestinal tract will be well taken care of.  If you cannot find psyllium husk (GNC and most vitamin stores stock it), it also happens to be the ingredient in 'Metamucil'.  Metamucil IS psyllium husk.  It's used as a colon cleanser, but has other very beneficial side effects, being practically pure fiber.  And since the food here in Thailand can be disagreeable to the innards, this stuff is a Godsend.  Just 3 teaspoons of this stuff each day and you can have practical carte blanche to indulge in just about anything and be free of digestion problems.  You have the Caveman guarantee on it.  This does not include the ability to drink the local water, etc, so don't misunderstand.  You have no idea what exceptional nutritional benefits are provided by supplementing with this high fiber expedient until you try it, and when you do, you’ll love it.

Hit Universe Gym again and chatted again with J, a Swede.  He's huge as far as muscularity goes: he makes me look like a string bean (good ol’ “tua FUCK yao”, in Thai).  Great guy to chat with and has some interesting insights to this place.  Stays for 6 months at a time, or something like that, after he makes enough cash back in Sweden.  It's amazing how you read about things on Stick's site that you later discover to be so true in your own experiences.  J’s analyses about Thailand and Thai ladies were entirely negative, and his reasoning struck me as being familiar with what I’ve read on Stick’s site, especially in the Readers Submissions.  I don't think I heard him mention one positive thing about the place.....but he is staying here, isn't he?  What's up with that?  He mentioned the fact that he was dating a (non-bargirl, I believe) Thai lady but recently broke up.  He ran down the list of the places he had managed to take her to, which were places all over the globe.  From the sound of it, he had treated her like quite the queen.  However, and unfortunately, she appreciated none of it.  He said that he might as well have taken her across the street to the beach and that she had no appreciation or thankfulness for what it took for him to arrange travel, moneywise, visa-wise, and everything else, to bring her everywhere.  No grasp, concern, or gratefulness whatsoever.  He was disgusted and bitter as he related this saga to me while we were spinning wheels on the stationary bikes, and grew increasingly agitated the more he spoke of her.  Not agitated at me, mind you, but just agitated at thinking about this wench who really left him with a stale taste in his mouth.  Then he went on to complain about a particular fellow who either partially owns or frequents Universe Gym, and whose picture is on the wall in various posing positions.  This guy is huge and took 4th place in the Mr. Olympia competition recently, but according to J, is a complete asshole (no surprise, as guys in that category are often full of themselves).  Although J really concentrated on the negative aspects of Thailand in our conversation, I still think that there's a good guy beneath it all.  The content of his stories is negative, but the way he relates the stories is positive--there’s a difference.  When you try to see the good in people, you can usually manage...it all depends on your perspective and frame of mind.  Seek and ye shall find.  After gym, went out for a jog along Jomtien Beach, which is the most suitable place around these parts for a peaceful jog without having to stop at an abundance of stoplights or inhale tons of exhaust fumes.  The highlight of the afternoon was a 5-second interlude that occurred during this jog.  It explains, in a nutshell, the overall reason I believe we are here in this glorious LOS.  It's what makes the world go 'round.  During this jog, as my feet were pitter-pattering across the pavement and I hazed out in enjoyment of my run (I put myself into a form of semi self-hypnosis as I run, which cleans the mind and body), I came across a lovely young Thai princess who was sitting on a beach chair watching me go by.  Instead of the normal greeting you would get from the average ogre in Farangland (no greeting at all), she beamed me the most spectacular, feminine, Thai-ladylike, heart-warming and captivating smile.  Immediately, my world of thinking, computing, and worldly concentration was shattered to pieces.  My facial expression before encountering her was in a sort of haze that it gets into when I go running......I just haze out.  It's neither a smile nor a frown.  Well, when I saw this amazing sight, which said so little but at the same time said so many things, my face immediately ignited with the broadest smile, and it really came naturally as a reaction to her.  Total exchange.....maybe 5 seconds.  But it could have lasted a lifetime.  As most of you know, these things just very rarely happen in any corner of Farangland.  Instead, the ladies there are so preoccupied with their personal problems, are worried about how they will appear to you if they smile, are disgustingly overweight much of the time.....just so many negatives.  The plain fact overall is that these exchanges are so rare in Farangland, but so so common here in Thailand.  It's beauty in simplicity.  This is why we're here.  This is why we're alive.  The spice of the good life.  This is what makes the world go 'round.....at least my world.  A simple smile from a simply beautiful lady.  It's great to be in Thailand, and it's great to be alive.  The best things in life ARE free.  Cup half full?  Nahhhhhhh—it’s overflowing.

After jog, took a power nap, then picked up S.  OK, we all know how so many Thais save so little of their earnings.  Well, S mentioned to me a day or so ago that she had 30 baht to her name before she met me.  Another non-saver.  Again, I hate to be repetitive, but......  OK, we went out and I got her a couple of small things that she evidently needed, like sneakers and a watch (and she thanked me nicely, to my surprise), then we went for a stroll along Walking Street and just hung out here and there.  There is one thing that I can get negative about, and that's the way that the transtesticles leer at you.  Is it the hormones they take that give them their overly potent the sex drive? (This is a rhetorical question—-I don’t think I really want to expand my knowledge of these creatures).  They never cease to disgust me, but at the same time I marvel and am fascinated by their complete weirdness and bizarre nature just as one would by visiting a wax museum or “Ripley’s Believe it or Not”.  I just wish I could watch them without being watched, because I just can't stomach the eye contact.  And to think that some people enjoy ramming them up their nasty pooper.  To each his own.  I think I'd rather fuck a rhinoceros, or a wildebeest for that matter.

Retired back to the room after going to S's bar to pay her barfine, and had quite a session.  What's up with this, though?: she started bleeding quite a lot after about 1/2 hour into it.  Hey, I'm not that big, but this happens too often.  Maybe I'm hammering too hard or something.  Well, the condom didn't break and I have no cuts anywhere, so I should be OK.  But that certainly put a stop to all activities, and good old Johnny wilted to his normal size with breakneck speed.

Got up this morning, chowed, and took little Sweetness back to her apartment and told her that I would not be picking her up this evening.  I expected the worst reaction after what I got from K in a similar situation last year, but was happily surprised to find that she didn't start in with the tears or get angry.  At this point, I plan to go back to see her again eventually, but explained to her that I wanted some time to myself.  Again, was relieved to see that she didn't give me a hard time with it all.  But she did mention to me that now that she has some money, she does not intend to go back to her bar, but instead will wait for me to return to her.  I told her that she should go to the bar and make some money for herself.  Evidently, she believes the 3000 baht, small gifts and shopping we did for her apartment will hold her for a while.  I explained to her that if she's going to work in the bar, she's got to expect to go with some guys, just make sure that you make them wear a condom without exception.  She tells me that she's only worked bar for 20 days or thereabouts.  Don't know if I really believe this, but she does seem to be a newbie in some respects.  For one thing, Thai boxing gives her the biggest snake fascination, as if she has never seen it before.

After long workout, took a power nap before meeting up with a Kiwi guy named G at the Thai boxing area just before entering Walking Street.  Prior to meeting him, had time for a stopoff at a beer bar on the way to have a quick one.  And that is where I met B.  What a knockout.  She has been in Pattaya for less than a month, and it really shows.  There is nothing hardened about this one.  An import from Buriram, she speaks almost no English at all.  If there were ever a bargirl with opportunity written all over her, it would be B.  Yes, she's a bargirl, but she's still at that stage where she has not become part of the scene yet....not even close.  Went to meet G, then returned to get her and bring her back and hang out with G again.  B was very quiet but attentive that first evening.  When retiring to my hotel room, I explained to her that out of respect that I did not think we should be having sex that evening.  She seemed a little bit surprised, but otherwise didn't seem to care one way or the other.  After showing her a few pics that I brought along with me, we crashed.  Dropped her off this morning after we ate breakfast.  Ate enough for 3 and I think she got full watching me eat.  She managed only 1 small plate of food, and ate only half of that.  I don't know how people can get by on such a small serving.  Breakfast should be the biggest meal of the day, and for me lately has actually constituted 50% or more of my daily calorie intake.

One interesting event from last night was when I took B to the Thai boxing: one of the bargirls there who had seen me the previous evening with S told B (when I went to take a piss) about it, I guess calling me a butterfly.  B mentioned it to me later, but it did not seem to matter to her.  I admitted everything, and why shouldn't I?  Well, it could have, but did not cause a hiccup.

I've read on Stick’s site that there are readers who have a difficult time finding suitable female company for the evening down here in Pattaya.  Why is this?  I find this difficult to fathom (although my opinion on this changed a bit toward the end of my stay).  There are so many to be had even during the high season, it's not even funny.  And you don't even need to waste your time going to the gogo bars, which I don't really like.  Nor do I like paying 500 baht barfines.  All you need to do is rent a cycle (and bring a decent helmet with you: don’t wear one of those stupid looking plastic cans they provide you with that make you look like a fucking gonad) and just cruise around to the areas where there are many beer bars situated together with one another.  There are countless such in the Pattaya area.  Pull up, have yourself a beer, and do a scan of the area (Terminator style).  You are bound to come up with a good one.  If not, move on to another beer bar area.  You can cover a lot of ground this way.  I have had no trouble in spotting a countless number of lookers this way.  No doubt the average Stick website reader would have a similar fortune.  And to think that some people are saying that they can't find decent company in Pattaya anymore?  Of course, it depends on what you’re looking for, but really nothing could be farther from the truth.  So, when you read about the high season and wonder if the nectar is all being sucked dry...it's not.....as long as you have an ounce of ingenuity and initiative.  Hey, no matter where you are, you at least have to head out there and look if you want a good catch.

Thai language skills have been very useful in my travels thus far.  B speaks almost no English at all, but my Thai is sufficient for us to get by with.  If this were last year when I came with no Thai language skills, I would not even have bothered with B.  But if you know some basics, you can bring it off.  A little bit of work pays huge dividends in this arena.

Went through much of the same morning and afternoon routine.  Jogged again along Jomtien Beach Road.  This time it was a madhouse out there due to an event they had going on, which was a Jet Ski King's Cup thing.  Plenty of locals hanging out there.  Saw a fight between 2 drunk-looking Thai guys.  As usual, I jogged by and minded my own business, not even staying to watch the spectacle.  About 200 meters down the road, ran into a policeman.  Told him about the fight, and he immediately asked me if I was involved in it, eyeballing me with suspicion.  This fucking lame peckerhead was evidently trying to implicate me for telling him about the fight.  Maybe I made him lose face by highlighting to him (in his mind of severely limited capacity) that he wasn't in the right place at the right time?  WTF??  He asked me if it was I who was in the fight, and more than once.  Does "There are 2 Thai men fighting" sound like I have been in a fight, you incompetent, worthless douchebag?  After I got it across to him that there was a fight going on that did not involve me but did involve 2 Thai men, not only did he not even proceed in that direction, he acted as if he could not have cared less.  I guess breaking up a fight would constitute real work.  Besides, if it were 2 Thai men, there would be no opportunity to try and extort money from any farangs.  My advice for farangs is to ignore things like this and mind your own business, lest thee be implicated.  As they say in a particular police department in the fine state of Colorado as a result of their excellent and aggressive police work backfiring on them for political reasons, "Do nothing, and nothing will happen."  Protect your own ass and move on.  Act not, lest thee be acted upon.

Picked up B last night, shopped a little, and then went to her bar and paid her barfine.  Her "sister", who is not really her sister but a close friend, accompanied us and we all had a drink.  Her sister is her exact opposite, personality-wise, being energetic, bubbly and exuberant, and speaking decent English.  I can see a very friendly, smiling, chatty but hardened bargirl there.  Had a great time chatting with her, with laughs going all around.  Considered asking her to accompany B and I to dinner just for entertainment purposes, but thought better of it.  She has a boyfriend from Austria who is sending her money, so she is not working.  That's what she told me anyway, and she certainly was not working last night, unless she freelanced later on.  She will be in Austria with him soon.  Very pretty and thin young lady.  I asked her what type of job she hopes to get when she arrives in Austria and she told me that she doesn't want to work because she's lazy (she used the Thai word, which I forget right now).  She then laughed as if she'd made a joke, but I believe that she probably really is lazy and will not wish to work.  Good luck to you, Hans (or whoever) in Austria.  You're soon going to have all you can take.  Way to fuck up a perfectly good life.  Want a sharp stick in the eye to go with that?

Took B out to dinner, where we went to the same restaurant where S and I went a couple nights ago.  Everything was great up until the end, when I asked for the bill.  The waitress rudely presented me the bill at the table and in a loud voice, said "792 baht" right there in front of my lady, remaining there awaiting immediate payment as if I was going to run the tab.  Now HOW RUDE IS THAT?  (Later, I found this to be par for the course, so it bothered me less, but still did not give a tip if they did this).  Imagine that in a western restaurant, blurting out the price in front of your lady, and then to boot, standing there waiting for immediate payment.  I was going to give a tip of about 100 baht, but instead gave 8 baht.  I explained it all to B, who I really think could not have cared less about any of it.  We were supposed to go bowling after dinner, but B got a little too stuffed and wanted to postpone the bowling.  We then proceeded back to the room for the main event of the evening, and one that I was really looking forward to.  "In this corner, weighing in at 145 lbs, we have Caveman.....in the other corner, weighing in at 92 lbs, we have B.  Let's get ready to rumblllllll......"  And rumble we did.  Oh, the pleasure of being alive.........  My only complaint about B is that she's a bit too quiet.  I asked her this morning if everything was OK, and she said, "I love you too mut."  Naaaaaah.....that didn't remind me of Stephen Leather's "Private Dancer".  Naaaaaah, not at all.

Went to breakfast again with B this morning.  Yesterday she did a double-take at my number of trips to the buffet, so I limited the number of trips this time, instead piling more on each plate than usual so that maybe it would appear that I was eating less.  Still wound up stuffing myself with a rather huge calorie load.  Need it for the workouts.  I'm not even going to mention how many hours they last nowadays, but my Mommy knows, don't you, Mommy?  Hey, who are these guys in white suits with butterfly nets?  What?  What do you mean, you’re going to take me to a safe environment?  Help me, Mr. Wizard!

Observation: Negotiations, or payment amount for bargirl services is always a hot topic.  Thus far during my stay here there have been NO negotiations.  The 2 ladies that I have been with I did not negotiate with.  For one thing, having to negotiate such a thing ruins the mood and turns it all into a dehumanizing business transaction.  It removes the personal nature from what you are doing.  If you find a woman who tries to negotiate with you, leave her in the dust cloud kicked up by your hasty retreat.  From my experience, this would include 95% of the bargirls you will find in BKK, although again my experience there with bargirls is limited (and will likely stay that way).  The best bargirls (if there is such a thing), in my opinion, are the ones you find in Pattaya that work in beer bars.  They are the ones that will be most willing to take good care of you and provide you with a 24/7 escort who will care for your needs and provide good company while on vacation.  I have not frequented a gogo thus far during my stay in Thailand and have no desire to.  The ladies there are ‘takers’.  There IS a difference.  Having stated that I have not negotiated with the bargirls I've been with thus far, I'll add that each morning I have placed 1000 baht on top of their handbag or other personal item without saying a word, and also when they were not in the immediate area; this keeps the dignity all around.  Nor was a word ever spoken to me.  I have never heard a word of complaint and each woman has expressed a desire to see me again and in fact spend my entire vacation with me, illustrating the fact that 1000 baht is adequate.  Anyway, some things are better left unsaid.  As a crude example to illustrate this point, having to explain to a woman the exact method of giving the perfect blow job would not only be a bit crass but would defeat the purpose.  I don't know about others, but I would actually feel, in a way, that I was doing it all myself.  Some things just have to come naturally, or not at all.  So much for negotiations.

I almost hesitate to place this type of personal info in the journal here and above, but I was happy to find that B didn't bleed after sex last night.  As stated previously here, I have been experiencing ladies that have started bleeding during sex, and they have not been on their periods, at least prior to commencement of slamming activities.  Maybe the long and continued pumping action rubs them raw.  That has got to be it.  But this time the rubber was clean as a whistle after extraction.

Another observation about the “nature” of bargirls, always the hottest of topics on Stick's site.  They are certainly much maligned by many who like to take the moral high ground, albeit many of the criticisms are valid and well deserved.  Well, the punters are a much worse lot, at least in Pattaya.  My hat's off to the average bargirl for being able to put up with them and still pace that smile and keep a positive attitude.  If you are reading this, chances are that you may not be among the ranks of what I would term "scumbag punters".  I believe the average Stick website reader to be a bit more sophisticated and educated, judging from the fact that you are computer literate, probably have some degree of education, are able to do web research, etc.  I can certainly say that many of those submitting Readers Submissions are an enlightened bunch who have provided all readers with some key advice and prime entertainment with their exploits.  But take a look around you when you go into a gogo or a beer bar at the average punter.  Can you really say that you're happy to be included as one of this crowd, especially if you’re in Pattaya?  Hey, my shit stinks as bad as the next guy’s and I have no inflated opinion of myself, but I am none too proud to be in the "punter" classification, judging from those I meet in my ramblings.  Anyway, what is it about some bargirls that inspires some of us do things with them and think about them in a way other than as mere prostitutes?  Is it just a form of denial?  Maybe some punters, to include myself, just don’t like to admit to themselves or others that they are just soliciting prostitutes and therefore attempt to glorify the whole thing.  You've read countless times here on the website things like "You wouldn't do such and such with a prostitute in your home country, so why do it in Thailand?"  The simple fact is that the better bargirls are not in the same category as your western prostitute.  What is a prostitute?  A prostitute is a woman who sells her body for money.  You give her money for sex.  That's it.  But what is the "classic model" bargirl selling?  (Postscript: the classic model bargirl may be slowly going extinct judging from my encounters during this particular vacation).  If the answer to this question is "sex", then she is a mere prostitute and the game's over and my argument holds no water.  But my contention is that she is selling quite a different product.  Not only is she selling quite a different product, many of the clientele who are employing her are pursuing that different product, and it is something other than sex.  What is this product?  This product could be described as "24/7 companionship, taking care of ALL of your needs to include the sexual, and providing you with an escort during your stay in Thailand".  Is that a prostitute?  OK, if you want to get technical, the fact that she is willing to have sex may make her a prostitute.  But you see my point and you see that there is a difference.  To further elaborate and substantiate the argument, have you ever heard of a western prostitute that provides the same service as a "classic model" Thai bargirl?  If you have, wake the fuck up: you're dreaming.  The fact that many of them are devoid of some virtues you would expect in a lady you'd like to keep has nothing to do with it.  So do many other ladies who are NOT prostitutes.  Virtuosity has NOTHING to do with it.  I believe a lot of people out there agree with me because all of the punters seem to be coming back for more, eh?  Guys continue to pursue bargirls, even unto marriage, despite all the warnings and shit written on the wall, am I right?  I would personally be very hesitant to maintain a real relationship with a bargirl and pursue it with marriage in mind because she is, in any event, guilty of poor judgment by the choice of her profession.  But even this may be quite forgivable, given the poor socio-economic circumstances that most of them are in, with options that are severely limited.  OK, guys, bring on the debate.

Picked up B last night after going to bar on Soi 2 where I originally met K last year.  While at Bar, (Tropical Bar), sat and chatted with Y, who told me of her saga with a German guy whom she described as a Cheap Charlie and kee niao.  We chatted a while and I asked questions about how she arrived at that conclusion.  She concluded that this guy is kee niao because he would not send her 20K baht per month to keep her out of the bar.  So despite the fact that he evidently brought her to Germany for 3 months, all expenses paid, supported her, probably took good care of her for the time period, and even DID agree to send her 10K baht per month, she had concluded that this guy is kee niao because he would not send her 20K baht per month.  I explained to her that 20K is a good bit of money for some farangs.  Based on the facts she gave me as well as my own knowledge, I gave her my opinion, which was that she had no basis for concluding as she did because she really did not know his financial situation.  She had never seen his financials, nor did she know his monthly income.  Oh, but yes she did know these things because she knows of many more farangs from Germany that are sending 20K or even more per month to their tee-ruks to keep them out of the bar, so of course this guy is able.  Spent some time explaining to her the possible flaws in her drawing this conclusion, and she seemed to listen because she saw me as an objective person with nothing to gain either way.  Who knows, though?  Anyway, it was a good way to pass the time before my scheduled meeting time of 7PM with B.

Ate a little with B from some street vendors this evening and then went to Thai boxing.  These street vendors have some good food, especially the chicken and beef on a stick, which are a very reasonable 10 baht each.  Then took a nice little cruise on the cycle through Jomtien, which was rather quiet as compared with Friday afternoon.  Came back and had a nightcap with B before absolutely crashing, this time without any bedroom Olympics.  Will have to compensate for it tonight.  B doesn’t seem to care one way or the other.  She did talk a little bit more last night, so maybe she's getting over some of her shyness, which is good.  My little bit of patience with her might be paying off.  I was beginning to worry a bit and was having thoughts of moving on, but this may not be necessary.  During our nightcap, I queried as to why she is usually so quiet.  I asked her if she did not like me again.  "I like you too mut", was the reply, which looked sincere as it left her cute little pouty lips.  My, she is gorgeous.  Informed her of my upcoming trip to BKK next week for a couple of days to see a friend, and she told me that she did not like butterflies.  "Do you think I'm a butterfly?"  "Yes", she replied, smiling broadly.  "Then why do you like me?"  No reply.  I guess she thinks I'm a butterfly because I'm leaving her for a couple of days to BKK where she may think I'm going to see another tee-ruk, even though I told her that my friend in BKK is a married male friend.  Can't blame her for being skeptical, though.  Been considering taking her to Phuket, Koh Samui or some other destination outside of Pattaya, and she displays enthusiasm for going.  We are really getting along well enough; hopefully she will continue to warm up, conversation-wise.

Happy to see that Fox News Channel is now being carried on the local cable TV down here in Pattaya.  They didn’t have it at the Honey Hotel in BKK, the cheap bastards.  Fox News is the only news I can stomach because it's the only one not slanted to the political left.

Went to gym for cardio and ab workout, then proceeded back out to Jomtien for my run.  These runs I take, usually at the beach in Jomtien, really give the lay of land in a way that’s hard to get any other way.  You really get to see the Thais in action and see the good with the bad.  On the good side, you get to see the Thais at the beach interacting with their families, bringing their BBQ grills, small games to play, water-sports equipment if they have any, etc.  Strangely enough, women are often seen applying makeup oceanside with mirrors and touch-up kits at hand while sitting on their blankets.  On the negative side, I have seen Thais dumping huge containers of trash into the woods.  It appears that they accumulate trash for maybe as much as a week and just go to the side of the road and dump it.  Just how ignorant can one get?  Hey, I know it’s their land, but this is pathetic.  The only locales where the occupants similarly foul their own nest in the US are areas where there are large populations of those that sometimes refer to themselves as the “downtrodden”.  I don’t believe that this practice of trash dumping to be as prevalent in the “real Thailand”, which includes places outside of BKK and Pattaya.  At least Chiang Mai and Khon Kaen are not similarly littered from what I remember seeing.  Another factor contributing to the amount of litter, especially in BKK, is the conspicuous absence of trash cans as you walk along the roads.  I often walk along with a soft drink and wind up carrying the container for quite some time before encountering one.  There is always one at a 7-11.  Another popular habit practiced by some male Thais is urinating by the side of the road in plain view of anyone in close proximity.  They will pull their vehicle over, step out facing outward, extract their wormlike appendage, and let the liquid fly.  This is indeed done in the US but less frequently and with more discretion, with the pisser going into the woods.  Anyway, during this particular run, I spotted a Thai bum rummaging through trash receptacles and extracting things for himself to eat.  Imagine that: finding things in a trash can at Jomtien that you believe are fit for human consumption.  This fucking wretch looked like the King of All Bums, if there ever were such a thing.  He looked as if he had never taken a shower in his entire life and appeared as decrepit and wretched as any homeless person I've ever seen.  Well, I don't typically give money to bums because their plights are largely self-inflicted, especially when they ask for money: that's especially when I don't give any.  But when I beheld the sight of this guy extracting things from a Jomtien trash can and eating them, it was too much, so I decided to pause my run for a second and hand him a baht note that was probably enough to feed him for a couple of days.  I approached him and tried to dissuade him (in Thai) from consuming the object he had in his hand, which appeared to be the feces of an indigenous 4-legged fur-bearing animal with a severe intestinal ailment, while at the same time presenting him with the cash.  He didn't even look at me, but instead regarded the dangling baht note with suspicion as if he had never seen such a thing, or as if to say, "What perverted act do I need to perform for this nicety, you fucking creep farang?"  Finally he took it without a word, or even a "khap khun khrap", and I was quickly on my way without lingering.

After picking up B, we met up with G again, my Kiwi buddy, at Thai boxing area just before entering Walking Street.  This evening, he managed to get the lady to go with him that would not go with him last time.  She is quite a looker if a little on the tall side.  Her face and skin are especially striking.  From her demeanor, she certainly knows she is beautiful, if you get my drift.  As soon as the 4 of us left to take a walk along Walking Street to hang out somewhere else, this primadonna began jabbering away on her cell phone, ignoring the G-Man, who said nothing to her about this rudeness.  Taking the bull by the horns since I had nothing to lose, I mentioned to her that this was rude to her man, and much to my surprise she actually did not use the cell phone for the rest of the evening.  We went to a nice restaurant where G & I chatted while our ladies chatted amongst themselves.  Not much else to report for the rest of the night, except for the hotel room play with B.  To really liven things up, I decided that I would emerge from the shower abruptly, still soaked and dripping wet, and stand inches in front of her while she lay waiting for me in bed under the sheets, giving her quite the view.  I had never done this before with her and she was surprised but seemed to enjoy the playfulness.  She stared....you know where; actually, she had little choice, since it was directly in front of her and in plain view, hanging like a monkey from a tree.  I caught her gaze and, grinning widely, playfully said, "No, you should not look there; look here", indicating that she should be looking me in the eye instead of meat gazing.  She was giggling like all hell, and replied, "You show, I look."  "No, don't look," I came back.  "You show, I look", she repeated.  "OK, now you show and I look."  "No, I shy."  I therefore tore the sheets off her, and she hardly resisted, laughing and screaming the whole time.  This was a lot of fun playing these games with her.  Sometimes the best foreplay is all verbal.  This went back & forth for a little while until.......the real games began.  For the rest of our time together, because I got such a kick out of her choice of words “You show, I look”, I would repeat this to her, letting her know how funny I thought it was.  We had many laughs this way.

Chatted with B last night (before retiring) about a possible destination for a few days outside of Pattaya.  Been considering Phuket or Koh Samui, but after chatting with a couple people and B, we may go to Chiang Mai for a real change of pace and something not so touristy.  I may look into that today and we may go next week.  Also, we're going to an elephant park tomorrow for another change in the normal routine.

Went to Universe Gym again today, which is really disappointing as far as quality.  They have 3 treadmills, 2 of which are always unserviceable, with the other one being in a room with limited ventilation so that it feels like a sauna.  Equipment is lacking and antiquated, and real estate is at a premium.  And what's up with these sleazy guys working out in their bare feet walking all over the place with sweaty feet?  Come on, have a little bit of hygiene, for Buddha’s sake.  But I don't know of another better gym here in Pattaya.  Took a look at one on a small soi off Walking Street today that was even smaller with ridiculously short hours of operation.  Maybe the opening of a good gym represents a business opportunity knocking on the door.  But not MY door: I'm quite afraid to invest anything here.  Good points for Universe Gym include the location and the fact that they allow you to work out without a shirt.  Most gyms do not allow this.

Now looking forward to going to BKK Thu and Fri this week, having booked the Honey Hotel for that period with follow-on reservation at Apex for my return on Saturday.

Brought a tin of cookies to Tropical Bar on Soi 2 and hung out with the bargirls there, especially Y, as usual prior to picking up B.  The small gift was well received.  Small gifts like this are a usually a hit with the bargirls.

Took B out to Jomtien and had a nice dinner at a decent outside restaurant.  A clean looking dog (yes, there are a few in Thailand) crept up to me under the table as I was eating, so after the meal, I bought a can of corned beef and fed him.  Afterward, we headed down the beachfront on the motorcycle and hung out next to the water having a couple of beers oceanside.  Very romantic.  Then returned to the hotel room, where B scratched my back 'til I fell asleep.  Got up this morning and instead of going to breakfast buffet, chowed down on some food I got yesterday from supermarket where they have the bowling on the top floor.  Today we will be going to the elephant park.

Workout today included another jaunt out to Jomtien for a run along the Beach.  Encountered King of All Bums again, and you'll never  guess......yes, he was back to rummaging through the trash cans of Jomtien once again in search of a delicious, wholesome, and nutritious meal.  Yummy.  Gee....wonder what he did with the baht from just 2 days ago.  Nahhhh...he couldn't have bought a bunch of booze with it.  Could he?

Picked up B a bit early today and first booked the tickets for our trip next week to Chiang Mai (about 4550 baht each for the flight on Thai Airways).  Really looking forward to getting away from Southern Thailand into the real country.  Then went to the elephant park, which we both enjoyed.  The simple things are the most enjoyable.  Just as you think an elephant can't give you a thrill anymore, think again.  These huge and amazing creatures are really something to see.  We fed them a bunch of bananas that were provided on sale there for just that purpose.  Those huge pachyderms easily consume an entire stalk of bananas in mere seconds.  There was also a monkey show there which we declined to see, and a shooting range that charged ridiculous prices for capping off just 6 rounds from a .357 magnum.  B had never fired a gun before, and it would have been nice to give her a marksmanship lesson, but the prices were stupidly high, even compared to US prices.  Guess it will be a little longer before she shoots a gun.  Took a stroll in a shopping plaza later, then went to her bar with a gift of some pineapple pastry cookies, which the ladies really enjoyed.  Buying lavish gifts for Thais can turn out to be an unrewarding and thankless experience after which you are considered weak and are often taken for granted and endlessly cajoled for more and more, but just 100 baht or so can bring some smiles.  Any more than that is probably money ill spent.

Met B's nawng sao (little sister) at bar and she accompanied us to dinner this time.  She is a real joy to be around because she makes me laugh my ass off.  She's one of those bargirls who talks really fast, and is 'wise in the ways' despite her young age, being in her early 20's.  She was very tacky in asking me for the 20 baht to pay for her motorcycle taxi ride down to Walking Street, knowing that she was just about to be treated to dinner at a nice restaurant.  No one likes to be juiced, and she is a pro at it.  She claimed that she only had a large bill and showed me a 500 note.  Hardly believable, but in the interest of amity, I just gave the guy 20 lousy baht.  I told her that she now owes me 20 baht (which I never got).  Judging from my observations of this young lady, she is definitely a taker and has all of the bad qualities that so many guys write about in bargirls.  This Austrian guy who is taking her out of Thailand next month is really in for it: I can see it.  She is going to wind up making his life miserable in the long run for sure, and all for some good sex.  It's just not worth it.  However, all that said, she is very entertaining to spend some time chatting with.

Keep forgetting to mention the scars on B's arm.  I counted 17 (count 'em) slash scars along her inner left arm.  She didn't try suicide, but she evidently self-inflicted this damage on her own arm.  I immediately guessed that she did this when the man she was with decided to abandon her when she was pregnant with her child, and she said that my guess was correct.  Still can't be absolutely positive if this was the cause, but it’s probable.  Yes, B has a child who is staying with the parents in Buriram, and she sends money home to her parents to support the kid (and them).  This is such a pervasive theme with bargirls.  And it's so hard to blame them for working bar, although many people still judge them harshly.  My friend Y told me that she resisted entering the bar scene for a while, but not being able to get a job for more than a mere 4K baht a month for an extended period of time caused her to change her mind.  She told me the whole story, and how can you really blame her?  4000 baht is such a paltry sum, especially when you are EXPECTED to support your parents.  Yes, most ladies find other alternatives or just tough it out, but many break down and choose the easy way.  And what a life they have.  So far, I have spent 6 days with B.  Her “job” while she has been with me could hardly be considered real work.  She has received 1000 baht per day for hanging out with me (and she has most days to herself from about 8 AM ‘til 7 PM), and I have picked up every living expense in addition to buying her some small gifts and taking her all across town to have fun, eat at the best restaurants in Pattaya, go shopping, etc.  She has also been spared the sexual Olympics for the most part that I'm sure many guys insist on.  OK, we have had sex, but she certainly has not had the dog shit pounded out of her 3 times a day either.  The conclusion is that this is certainly a more attractive way for some ladies to make money than to accept a shitty job where she works 11 hours a day, 6 days a week for 4000 baht a month in a rice field or a factory.  B is even getting an all-expense paid trip to Chiang Mai next week, and will be paid to go there each day she is with me.  What a life!  To boot, she probably hopes for more; that is to say that she hopes that I will eventually decide to take her to America for that pie-in-the-sky payoff just like nawng sao is going to Austria to hop onto the farang gravy train.  But in this she will be disappointed.  But if there were a bargirl that I should take a chance on, it might be this one.  She has TRULY been in the bar scene for less than a month before we met.  She is not even beginning to be hardened.  She seems devoted to taking care of me, but is still pretty much on the quiet side and displays little or no preferences on anything, which is not a good sign.  Of course, it’s better than being an overbearing bitch, but there should be some middle ground.  But there is still yet another problem, and it is this: even if you meet a bargirl on her Day 1 in the bar and are the very first farang to "take" her, you still have to live with the knowledge that she chose to be a bargirl as a profession, and therefore at best has the type of judgment that this type of decision making entails.  A woman who possesses this type of judgment is bound to cause problems down the road as you live together and the relationship evolves.  Of course, every relationship has its problems, but will you be willing to commit to the type of problems that are likely to emerge as a result of marrying this type of lady?  That's a question for each individual to answer based on his own place in life.  For me, it is highly doubtful that I could ever do it.  Yes, it’s nice having her in my company, but a permanent commitment is another matter.

Spent last night with B cruising into Naklua and chowing down at a German restaurant which, by the way, has a pet monkey in a cage.  Yes, of course I fed the fucker, and he took everything he could get.  Monkeys are so cool.  Got poor service as usual and therefore gave no tip (but the monkey got a tip).  I believe in a generous tip if service and food are OK, but those occasions account for maybe 1/2 of my dining out experiences thus far.  Certainly not letting it spoil a great time, though.

Took a run this morning along Pattaya Beach Road quite early.  And yes, the freelancers were out I’d say by 7 AM or even earlier.  Checked out of Apex Hotel and took one of their taxis to BKK to Honey Hotel at a fixed rate of 850 baht, with me having to pay the highway tolls (150 baht more).  This eliminated the luggage dragging that a bus ride would have entailed.  Taxi driver was shitty, as are most.  This is one group of people here in Thailand that I have never been able to trust even a little bit.  Don't think I can remember one that I trusted.  Gave driver a small tip because at least I don't think he took me for any cash, but then he actually had the balls to ask me for a bigger tip.  Hey, at least he asked me with a smile (and I told him not to smoke in bed with a smile, too.  He got his additional tip).

Checked into Honey Hotel without a problem.  Met up with Stick a bit later and we hit some neat places, one of them being Gulliver's, which has decent food at good prices, but with small quantities.  Checked out a few other venues afterward, with Stick pretty much calling the shots all the way to my great satisfaction.  It gets old making all the decisions of where, when, how, etc.  “Up to you” is good only to a point.  Since I really feel quite lost in BKK anyway, this was a great way for me to see some good places without having to make any decisions or risk getting lost.  Stick is THE MAN.  Had a fantastic time just hanging out, shooting the shit, and just catching up on things with him.  Sometimes it just doesn’t matter where you are as much as the company you’re with.  Met Dave the Rave, who is a friendly and talkative guy.  Just laughs and good times all around last night and am looking forward to tonight, which will be my last night in BKK before heading back down to Pattaya and then Chiang Mai.

Went to California Fitness Center this morning, which is a spectacular gym.  A small part of this gym is on the 2nd floor, then there’s an all-female part on the 14th floor, and the main part is on the 19th floor of a high-rise building which consequently gives a magnificent panoramic view of the city as you work out.  This is a world class gym with this view, and it also has excellent equipment that really puts Universe Gym (shithole) to shame.  It is modeled exactly after the 24-Hour Fitness Centers in the States and is part of the same corporate entity.  If you are a member of 24-Hour Fitness in the US, you can work out for free here: just bring your card with you.  If not, you may need to join or strike some kind of deal with them because they charge you 1000 baht for a single day’s pass, which is ridiculous.  Really got carried away with today's workout, as it was multiple hours long.  There are some real hotties in there, too.  Chatted with a lady (M) who was attractive and quite forward.  When we shook hands, she actually held onto my hand for a spell while maintaining a direct eye contact.  Did she want more than just a small conversation in the gym?  Maybe; however, she struck me as being just a bit on the sleazy side: don't need to pick up any diseases, so I just kept things cordial and did not try for a phone number or anything.  Her body is rockin’, though: firm, thin build, flat stomach, tight ass, thin/slim legs - just like the Caveman prefers.  Face needs slight plastic fill job (or a bag).

Had another fabulous night out with Stick, Mrs. Stick, and a few other friends last night at a really neat Thai venue which was a German Beer Garden/restaurant of sorts.  Very few farangs there: a refreshing change from spending time with a lot of the human debris that passes through Pattaya.  We ate and drank for hours in true Thai style.  Of note and very impressive was the way the Thais were loudly and proudly expressing their patriotism during those occasions when nationalistic/ethnic Thai music was playing.  They stood up, one and all, singing loudly their praises of their beloved homeland: Thailand.  They really know how to enjoy themselves.  Their fervent love of country was truly admirable, and is sadly lacking in the US, where political divides are deep, caused by the leftists who always seem to find reasons to side with the enemies of the US and hate their own country.  They do nothing but whine endlessly, ruining things for all else (misery loves company), extending open palms to the government for endless handouts for all their perceived wrongs that have been inflicted on them by the wicked society they live in.  These miserable, shiftless fucks view their lives as a raw deal, and here are the Thais living on a pittance by American standards, but they know how to be happy with what they have.  I'm sure that maybe once upon a time, people in the US were united like the Thais are.  I'll tell you for sure that the Thais can certainly teach my fellow countrymen many things about how to be happy and proud of the country in which you live.  If Americans were as proud of the US as the Thais are of Thailand, the US would be a much happier place for all.  My hat's off to the Thais and Thailand.  Their hearts are in the right place and I admire their enthusiasm for their homeland.

Took painful trip back to Pattaya this morning by bus after cardio workout at Cali Fitness.  Checked into Apex, then spent the next hour or more finding a place to hang my hat after return from Chiang Mai.  Finally found an apartment way out in Naklua.  Quite big, too, but a bit off the beaten track.  Postscript: I would definitely recommend this place.  It is the Wandee Garden Service Apartments on Soi 16 in Naklua.  Paid 500 baht per night for a 2-story apartment with living room, TV with HBO, kitchen with microwave and a large fridge, 2 full bathrooms, a den and a large bedroom with A/C.  There are also live alarm clocks (rooster) outside that wake you up each morning.  How can you beat it?

Before picking up B last night, stopped at Tropical Bar on Soi 2 as usual and chatted with Y.  We get along quite well as friends as I enjoy listening to the stuff she tells me, while she equally enjoys my company, and I guess the daily treats I bring, along with the drink or 2 she gets from me each night don’t hurt either.  Well, she confided in me last night that she was sore, and actually told me that this was due to going short-time with a German guy the previous day that fucked her for a really long time (he ST’d her LT).  She was rewarded with 600 baht for the ordeal.  It’s fun listening to this shit.  She got pretty graphic telling me what parts of her body were sore, too, and I just sat there enjoying every minute of this priceless yarn.  She says that it's not the size of the guy that makes a lady sore, but the duration of the sex.  From what I could gather, anything more than 1 hour can start to wear away the lining........ I was surprised at her bold offering of such personal details.

Picked up B at her bar and she said that she half expected not to see me.  She couldn't really give me a reason why, which is par for the course because she usually has not much to say.  We had dinner at a nice German restaurant near the Pizza Hut on Beach Road where they checked me for weapons upon entry.  No big deal really, but asked them with a smile why they didn't want to check B.  “No need.”  (OK, now I know next time to give HER the gun and C-4).  We had a decent meal with good service, but the assholes charged a service charge, which is becoming common practice with some of the more greedy establishments down here, like Hard Rock, where I do not go anymore.  Well, gave no tip as a result.  There was also a 7% tax charge which I don't remember seeing before.  Last visit to this place, even though the bill was only about $25 US, with me ordering an appetizer and 2 main courses.  Hell, there are so many restaurants to choose from in Pattaya, I don't think I'll be running out of new choices any time soon.

B is still a bit shy in the bedroom.  Keep trying to goad her into putting on an exhibition, but she resists every time.  I have no problem doing whatever it takes to get her juices flowing, but she remains quite modest.  I guess it’s not the end of the fucking world.  She has nothing to be modest about...she's beautiful.

Dropped B off at apartment.  The following paragraph is included in this journal for fitness enthusiasts in Thailand.  There are many times and places in Thailand that a gym is not readily accessible.  Instead of going to the gym this morning, I'll be doing my pushup routine in my hotel room, which consists of doing pushups, combined with ab work, combined with isometric exercises that are performed by doing things like pushing out between a doorway, applying pressure, whether pulling or pushing, against any fixed surface, and otherwise just making maximum contractions of the muscle groups.  It should not be done more than maybe 2 times a month, as its great impact on the muscle groups will cause over-training.  This workout is quite grueling, and can be used as an occasional substitute for my regular chest/back workouts to get an exceptional pump.  It gets you quite sore if you do it right.  For the pushups, which take longer than the other portions of the workout, put your legs up on an incline for better results, or optimally, use pushup bars, which are easier on your wrists.  Vary the position of your hands on the deck (from wider, closer, lower on body, farther up, etc) as you do the pushups from set to set, which will work the entire pectoral muscle group as well as the entire back and lats.

This is the first entry in a while, being unable to make entries for the last few days in Chiang Mai.  Monday was a travel day for us, leaving Pattaya by taxi to Don Muang and heading to Chiang Mai by plane.  The taxi driver went out of his way in the middle of BKK to get gas, and in the process, landed us in a massive traffic jam that almost caused us to miss our flight.  He said nothing to us at all about this fucking diversion: he just left the highway and did what he wanted to do.  Could not give a flying fuck what time our flight departed.  What an unconscionable prick.  I was livid sitting there in this taxi and there wasn’t a damn thing I could do about it.  When we arrived at the airport, not only did he get no tip, I grabbed our bags and walked away without even talking to him for fear that I might chew his nose off.  This guy was truly a jerkoff.....not that you expect or even want taxi drivers to babble when you're in the back seat, but he neither talked to or even looked at B or I for the entire trip.

It was fun watching B as she was nervous at her first time getting on an airplane.  Her palms were all sweaty so I joked with her to get her to laugh and forget her fears.  She made out just fine.  Thanks to our last minute arrival, we were unfortunately not able to get a window seat so B could look out the window, which would have made for maximum excitement on her first plane ride.  But it was still fun for her.  Arrived in Chiang Mai and took a taxi (taxis and samlors do not use meters in Chiang Mai, so everything must be negotiated beforehand) and checked into the Bossotel Hotel on Rotfai Road where the travel agent had booked us (and yes, there is a train station and tracks there, “rot fai” meaning “train” in Thai).  My advice for those traveling to Chiang Mai is to just get a taxi to Thapae Road and find yourself one of the guest houses which are located all about the sois branching off this main thoroughfare, where you can pay as little as 200 baht/day or even less for a nice room.  A/C is not really a requirement in Chiang Mai, at least during this time of year.  The daytime high is only about 82, and at night it goes down into the 50's.  Chiang Mai is beautiful and I would highly recommend it to all Thailand lovers, as well as to those who love rural areas and mountains.  A really neat town.  Lots of backpackers, with most being an agreeable variant and a few grungy ones thrown in.  BTW, Chiang Mai is really full of farangs.  Some places we frequented had no Thai customers at all, in fact.

OK, so we arrived on Monday and had a pretty quiet day and evening.  That evening, we hung out for a while at a place called the Rooftop Bar on Thapae Road, which was full of backpacker types.  They played a really cool fusion of music here, which is a synthesis of jazzy reggae/new age.  The place also serves vegetarian food (only).  The bat population around Chiang Mai is huge.  There was no ceiling on this place and we were literally on the rooftop of the building.  Really cool to stargaze and also to check out the multitude of bats flying overhead.  They entertained the hell out of us flying very close overhead and screeching as bats do.  We really got a kick out of this.  Oh, and before I forget, there is also a handsome RAT population in Chiang Mai, evidently.  One of the vermin scurried literally right over my feet as we were strolling hand-in-hand along Thapae Road.  Rented a motorcycle, of course, which might be a slightly more expensive proposition than it is in Pattaya, although prices in Chiang Mai are generally lower for everything else.  Our 2nd day was spectacular.  By sense of direction, I was able to find the road leading to the mountain which leads to the Wat Prathat Doi Suthep and Phuphing Palace.  Cruised the cycle all the way to the crest, and there are some really amazing views along the way.  Just an excellent cruise, and it was probably the highlight of our stay in Chiang Mai.  Stopped off and checked out the Wat....not really my kind of thing, but it was a nice change of pace and really is a magnificent structure.  Lots of touts there, so you've been warned.  Oh, and they charge farangs 30 baht to see the Wat, while Thais enter for free.  Gotta' love it.  Next day was Wednesday; must have had a lot of pent up energy because I did not exercise at all the previous day.  Well, I made up for it a bit, because I took a samlor (which is a good form of transport in Chiang Mai, and may be considered the regular form of transport there) to the Chiang Mai Zoo, which is at the foot of the mountain, and ran to the top and a little bit down the other side, then back down again to the zoo.  Total distance one way was about 17.5 km with an elevation gain of about 4000 feet, maybe more.  So that made it a 35 km mountain run.  Felt absolutely great and at peace with the world during this fabulous run.  The surrounding countryside on this mountain is magnificent.  Mountain jungle all the way, with subtle changes in flora as you gain elevation.  Sounds emanating from the wilderness are mystical and captivating; evidently there is plenty of wildlife that is strictly indigenous to this area of Thailand, and you can hear it if you stand still, haze out, and just listen.  Get in touch with nature.  Just too magnificent to describe here in this journal.  It is an absolute MUST if you go to Chiang Mai.  If you cannot run it or walk it, get your ass up this mountain any way you can.  There are also many trails branching off this mountain road that appear to be good for hiking.  Chiang Mai itself is at an elevation of about 980 feet, so going up this mountain gets you to a pretty respectable elevation, it being quite cool at the crest.  Chiang Mai town proper is a bit cooler than BKK.  The locals wore coats and wool hats in the morning hours.  Anyway, total running time was just about 4 hours with no stops.  Walked about 300-400 meters of this distance at certain points where the incline was a bit drastic.  Would recommend this to all fitness enthusiasts.  But be advised that it's just about all hard-top.  There is some grass that you could try to run on, but steer clear of it because it's pretty rough, and I saw at least one snake (even if it was dead and smashed road-kill).  After this, B and I went to an insect museum, which is about 2 km or so just south of the zoo with signs pointing you to its location.  Would not recommend it.  It cost 350 baht for both of us combined and it wasn't really worth it.  The "museum" consists of a 2-story house with a bunch of bug displays and other media.  Some of this stuff was cool, but the average joe could pass on it and not feel like you missed anything.  Thought it might be a good idea because I am a nature enthusiast, and especially like looking at some of the crazy looking insects that inhabit our world.  After this, went to the Chiang Mai Zoo: good idea.  If you don't take the tour tram (which costs a little bit extra), it's quite a walk between animal displays with some serious inclines.  After morning run, this was an unexpected additional energy output.  The only negative about the zoo is that you have to pay extra even after you pay admittance at the gate if you want to see the panda.  Well, fuck the panda.

Flew out the next day and got a taxi to Pattaya at the BKK airport.  It was not a pleasant ride because I had planned to tell B that I wished to go khon diao (alone) for a while upon our arrival to Pattaya.  I was therefore looking forward to this unpleasantry with no idea of what to expect in terms of her reaction.  Well, at least it wasn't violent.  But it was a bit brazen of her, even in retrospect.  She appeared quite upset when it occurred to her that she would not be getting any more monetary benefit out of me, at least for a couple of days.  Consequently, upon arrival to her apartment, she just walked away without even looking at me, saying goodbye, thank you, I had a nice time, fuck you, hit the road--NOTHING.  Hearken back to good ol’ J in the gym.  Here is the lady that I had given 1000 baht each day for 12 days, paid her barfine, paid every living expense she had (except her apartment rent), bought her many drinks at her bar (where she gets a small cut of each), some gifts, and an all-expense paid trip to Chiang Mai.  Never got a single "khap khun kha".  Well, we've all beaten up bargirls here on Stick's site, so let’s not belabor the issue, but you guys can certainly read between the lines.  Anyway, if you're wondering why I had decided to go khon diao, in a nutshell she was just a bit too much on the quiet side.  I did 95% of all the talking.  She really had no excuse because most of the time we spoke Thai between us, so you can't say it was the language barrier.  So it was time to move on.  Headed out to Soi 2 and hung out with Y and the others at Tropical Bar.  There are a few new lovelies there.  One of them appeared particularly attractive but too young.  I queried on her age, and Y told me she was 16!  Wow, didn't think they were allowed to work the bar at that age.  Watch out, guys, the young ones are out there.  Stay clear.  Cruised around and found a nice young lady to share some time with that evening.  J was in her mid 20's and from Surin.  A really glowing smile and a genuine person.  Silky-smooth skin didn’t hurt either.

Woke up this morning in my grand apartment in Naklua, ate with J, and then took her to her pad.  This apartment is really nice, with the description provided above (Wandee Garden).  Afterward, went to gym (how’d ya’ guess?), which I really felt I needed.  Chiang Mai was really great, but it's also good to be back in Pattaya where I know the lay of the land and have developed a daily routine of sorts.

Wound up with a real dud last night (D).  She was very pretty with dark skin but completely lifeless for the ENTIRE evening.  What a drag.  Oh, well, life's a bitch......She actually asked if I was going to come back to her bar to pick her up again in the morning when we awoke...told her "NO.  You do not know how to take care of me."  She had the liveliness of a cadaver.  No doubt my reply went over like a lead balloon, but she deserved much harsher critique.  Contemplated paying her only 500 baht, then just said fuck it and paid her the full monte to avoid any problems.

Universe Gym has a few real weirdoes there.  Many (if not most) of the guys are regularly taking steroids, judging from their appearance.  There are several indicators, the most obvious being size.  Everyone who does weight training wants size and strength, or maybe low fat body content, and many want it not from working out, but by shooting themselves with steroids, not being willing to put out the necessary effort to do what it takes to get it naturally.  Steroids are readily available in Thailand without a prescription, making it all the more tempting an alternative.  And let’s be honest: they are truly effective and give quick results while you are taking them.  But the cost is so huge in terms of health.  Who the fuck wants to have cancer of the balls?  How about brain cancer, like good old Lyle Alzedo, the Oakland Raider great?  Does testicular atrophy appeal to you?  Want balls the size of peas?  Take steroids for a while and you may get your wish.

Found L at the Thai boxing area just as you walk into Walking Street.  She looked older than she claimed to be.  Again came across at least one young lady that was TOO young: 19 and working in the bar.  She was quite willing to be barfined, but the Caveman was having none of that.  L had a nice smile and seemed relatively free of mental baggage when chatting her up at the bar.  We went out to eat and part of me had to laugh (at the time) when she ordered a lobster (and she picked one so big, the fucker looked pregnant) that set me back more than what I was planning on paying her the next morning.  Yes, she was getting her money's worth from this farang, she was making certain of that.  Hey, don’t take a lady to a place with lobster if you can't afford the lobster.  Took her back to my apartment on the cycle and she froze her ass off all the way.  It's been a bit chilly the last few days by Thai standards, although it feels really great and crisp to me.  Humidity is pretty much gone.  Well, L turned out to be another dud, so much so that she wound up departing early about 2:30 AM.  The only way to describe what happened without giving a long-winded blow-by-blow is that something in her appeared to snap, Dr Jekyll/Mr. Hyde style.  For the first time, did not pay a lady the customary 1000 baht because she did not stay until the morning, and she did not protest.

Well, last night was interesting for a few reasons.  After my mid-day power nap, went to Tropical Bar as usual to hang out with Y.  There happened to be an Englander there who was setting the place ablaze with his drunken antics.  Evidently he was a regular there because he was going with one of the bargirls, and she is a looker.  Hard to believe that she is settling for this fat, worthless piece of human garbage (and this is giving the guy credit).  Now mind you I have nothing against Brits at all, but this sorry mother fucker was a disgrace not only to his countrymen but to all farangs in Thailand.  He was sloppy drunk and standing in the street in front of the bar in plain view of all, to include all of the surrounding bars, pulling his pants down around his knees while tucking his schwanzy in between his legs like that transvestite weirdo did in the movie "Silence of the Lambs", wailing at the top of his lungs to draw attention to himself so that everyone could catch a sickening, disgusting glimpse of his bloated anatomy.  He then made an exhibit of his fat lard-ass, doing 360's to add a touch of spice to his drunken episode, yelling all the while in a stupor as he was doing all this.  Then he tackled one of the young Thai guys that works there at the bar, pinning him down and mimicking dry-humping the poor fucker the way a dog does to your leg (if you let him).  Stayed maybe a half hour, and this guy needed to be the center of attention the entire time.  Would have stayed longer to chat with Y, but I could see a fight coming because he was going out of his way to antagonize each person he came into contact with, knocking over things that may have come into his way.  One amazing thing about this all was the way the Thais handled it, at least while I was present.  They handled it all so casually and forgivingly, as if this were the price they had to pay in order to attract customers for the ladies that worked at the bar and make some money.  In any American bar and probably equally in Britain, this drunken, broke-dick wormbag would have been tossed out immediately, stack & swivel.  He was, without a doubt, a more repulsive human being by far than any bargirl I've encountered.  Again, the fact that he was able to keep some sort of relationship with an attractive lady who worked there is amazing.  Evidently her sense of self-worth is mighty low to settle for a piece of trash like him.  He must have later vomited because when I first arrived he was drunk and continued to drink more and more all the time, and it looked like whiskey.  Another one for the books.  And another bit of evidence that illustrates that the punters are a far more pitiful lot as a whole than the bargirls so many people talk and write shit about.

Cruised the town later and just went to a few beer bars, stopping at one and getting a nice massage from one of the ladies while sitting at the bar.  Ahhhhhhh, that's the way, uh-huh uh-huh, I like it, uh-huh uh-huh.........After my colorful experiences the past couple of evenings, it was high time to indeed spend the evening khon diao.  And the only way you go alone in Pattaya at night is by choice, as most of you know.

Y at Tropical Bar has been giving me some interesting tidbits of info about her bargirl comings and goings.  Lately she told me that she satisfied a 60-year old geezer from England (she’s 25).  A bit funnier was the morsel she supplied last night.  She has a customer from England who evidently just came back for a second LOS visit and came to the bar for her.  She related to me in great detail, as I was sitting there sipping my drink, how this guy's crank on his first visit was "too big for small pussy Y".  She said that it was not too long, but too wide, and showed me how wide with her fingers.  But on this visit, her snatch was larger (scary), so she could service him now.  Funny as it may sound, I was thinking even then that this was bound to make a good journal entry.

Barfined J again, who has been the only decent company after stopping things with B.  Her company is really great, and she manages to speak Thai in a way that I can understand better than most other Thai speakers.  She is able to keep it simple and enunciates well.

Also when chatting with Y a couple of nights ago we had quite an interesting conversation about the previously mentioned Brit that was setting the bar on fire.  As mentioned, he was going with one of the ladies there, and although I knew the answer to the question I asked Y, I nonetheless posed it.  I asked her why such a pretty woman would go out with a good-for-nothing, drunken, sloppy-fat slob piece of human debris like this guy.  Got a priceless reply: "Him have big money".  OK, guys, we've beat this horse to death, but here's a bargirl who is a friend of mine who imparts information to me that might otherwise be hard to come by.  So here is more admissible evidence.  If this guy had empty pockets, he would not qualify.  But given the fact that he's got a few pounds in his bank account (but not nearly as many as he has in his distended gut), and albeit he is the type of guy as I've described, he can still get himself an attractive woman (even if she is a bargirl).  Just another piece of the puzzle.

Last night Y told me that she had 2 customers the evening before and so she made good money.  Good to hear that she declined one of the customers when he requested to go without a condom (so he later agreed to use one).  Made a big fuss and went out of my way to congratulate her and tell her how good her judgment was in this respect.  Oh, and a couple nights ago she also told me about one guy who barfined her and another lady who works with her, both at once.  She was smiling all the time when telling me this story because she said, "He pay me but he no fuck me.  Fuck only lady other.  He only see me no clothes."  An easy 500 baht for Y.  Hard to figure why the guy would barfine 2 ladies and do only one of them, unless it's because he just finished a bit quickly.

Went back to Tokyo Beer Bar and got the same lady to give me a massage at the bar same as a couple nights ago.  I buy her a drink (and she gets a Bacardi cooler at 150 baht) and give her a nice tip to boot, and she goes at it for about 1/2 hour.  What a deal.  And she has really good hands, having prior massage parlor experience.

Yesterday while shopping at the small supermarket near my apartment in Naklua, there was a drunken farang absolutely pestering the shit out of the lady cashier/owner of the place, who was trying to be patient with this scumbag.  He refused to leave when she requested that he do so, so I reinforced her request by repeating it myself.  I don't usually do this type of thing, as I usually prefer to mind my own business.  Would certainly have said nothing if the drunken fool were a Thai.  But he DID leave, and it warmed my heart when she kindly thanked me for my efforts when I returned later that evening.  Another instance of farang filth who soil the reputation of us all, and I am none too proud to say that I think he was American (his accent was not perfectly clear due to the fact that he was slurring his words in his intoxicated state).  This guy was smashed at about 2PM, and was even carrying a glass of some rot-gut hard liquor with him in the market.  He looked like death warmed over, and for all I know could have been drowning his sorrows with fucking cancer of the sphincter.

Went khon diao again last night and it felt good.  Tonight I'm considering bagging one of the cute ladies working opposite Tropical Bar on Soi 2 where Y works.  Have not done this up until now because I am at Tropical Bar every night chatting with Y, and it would be uncomfortable to have to see the same lady when I chat with Y on successive evenings.  She may try to coerce me to take her every night.

Something to keep in mind is that if you intend to barfine a lady of the night and have an apartment as opposed to a hotel room, beware of pissing her off even more than you would usually.  You do not have the same security arrangements that are available in hotels.  Also, there is no requirement for them to check their ID at the front desk because there is no front desk.  It's a whole different ball game.

Well, here it is Christmas Day in the LOS.  Last night was interesting on a couple of counts.  For one thing, I have been chatting with Y about my desire to barfine the particular young lady at one of the beer bars directly across from Tropical.  I therefore waited until just a couple days left in Pattaya and did it.  Well, as much as I have emphasized to Y that we should maintain our friendship as platonic, Y may have other ideas.  Introduced the 2 of them after barfining N, and although Y smiled and was superficially gracious, her body language suggested that she was not happy with this arrangement.  One of her bargirl friends jeered me openly upon our departure, after which I just cruised the hell out of there.  Bummer.  All I can say is that I have always been open and honest with Y about our relationship and wanted to stay as friends.  In hindsight, it may not have been a good move on my part even so.  Y may have lost face by my refusal to barfine her even if I was honest with her all the while, instead going across the street.  This bargirl protocol can be complex.

Funny thing happened when chatting it up with N at her bar before deciding on barfining her (before taking a lady, I do a sort of “job interview”).  A few nights ago, remember that one of the ladies turned out to be very boring indeed (the cadaver).  A prime indicator that should have tipped me off to this was that when I asked what she wanted to do once we left the bar for the evening, she gave no reply.  Instead, she regarded me with a look of puzzlement, which was about as exciting as things got with her that night.  Well, in an effort to avoid making the same mistake twice, I asked N what she wanted to do if I paid bar.  I wanted a lady with maybe a couple of ideas or preferences.  She completely misunderstood the question and began running down the laundry list of sexual acts she would be WILLING to perform.  I stopped her in midstream before she got around to her willingness or lack thereof for rear-end penetration.  I felt bad for her, but also laughed about it.  Hey, a prime reason for her misinterpreting the question (besides just the language barrier) is that many guys do ask just exactly what they are willing to do sexually before making a decision.  The lady is nothing more than a fucking sperm receptacle for a good percentage of the trash that passes through the bars.  For me at this point, just simple female companionship comes first with maybe a good massage thrown in somewhere, and maybe not even any sex at all, depending on how I/we feel.

Got up this morning and did a good, long run, as gym is closed today.  Oh, and yesterday I managed to make a small move on one of the receptionists at the gym.  She has been sick for the last couple days, so I asked her what she wanted to eat for lunch (khao phat gai, mai sai kai) and went out and got it for her.  A shame I'll only be here for another 2 days, because it might be possible to make some advances with this nice non-bargirl cutie.  She was very thankful when I walked in with her dish and a small brownie in a bag.  Khap khun kha's flying all over the place, with that genuine Thai girl smile to boot.  This brings up a good point, in that I most always hear “kha” from non-bargirls, whereas bargirls usually omit this polite suffix.  Didn’t Stick writing something akin to this once, the gist being that the language skills of bargirls often reflect their lower level of education?  No surprise that my observation is identical.

Up to this point, there have still been no negotiations for any female companionship, have paid them all 1000 baht daily (except one), and there have been no problems.  Stick has mentioned in his column that Nana is quiet lately, and my take on it is that they have priced themselves out of the market.  Pattaya is packed to the point that I don't think they can fit even one more farang in town.  It really is a madhouse down here right now.  Also up to this point, have not gone to even one gogo.  Have no desire to.  Beer bars are more my style.....just kick back, relax, and let things happen.  70 baht for a Carlsberg doesn’t hurt either.

Yes, the LOS really does attract all sorts.  Many readers on Stick's site have remarked about how strange it is to see a 60+ year old parading around with a lady 1/3 his age.  Now, I do not think it's immoral, but it just says something about both of them.  To each his own, as long as they're both consenting adults.  But it is an eye opener.  If you think it’s pathetic, it’s not nearly as pathetic as the elderly gay men who come from all ends of the Earth to have their way with young Thai boys!  Take a look around Pattaya, maybe at a mall or shopping center and you're bound to see it: an old geezer with a young gay Thai boy 1/3 his age.  This spectacle does not speak well for Pattaya.  This place is an outlet for every vice known to man, which can be practiced right out in the open.  Are you an old salami smuggler who likes young boys and their tight little asses?  Come on down to Pattaya.  For a pittance, you can satisfy your perverted sexual cravings with the little boys you hanker for.  How bloody disgusting can things get?

Finally we have arrived at my last day in Pattaya.  Last night, I went for J, who happened to be out with another customer (according to one of her friends, she was out sick).  Missed my chance.  Then went for M at Tokyo Bar, the masseuse: barfined too.  Pattaya is so packed with farangs right now it's incredible.  Spent the next couple of hours, believe it or not, just trying to find suitable company, and at times finding a lady to suit your particular requirement at a particular time can be a challenge.  You might find it difficult to believe that it would ever be a challenge to find a bargirl who can give a massage, but maybe things are not what they used to be.  In my mind, massaging should near the top of the list of job requirements, but I guess I've got it wrong.  One lazy wench even came right out and told me that it hurts her arms too much, so she doesn't do it.  Well, you spoiled little whore, try working a rice field or a clothing factory like most of your counterparts upcountry and see how that feels.  This particular lady really deserved the title “whore”.  Anyway, I finally did accomplish mission, but again went khon diao for the evening.  Feels good sometimes to sleep alone.  No attachments.

Got a foot massage today for a meager 200 baht/hour.  Good deal, I must say.  Lady was good and therefore so was the tip.  I am starting to admire the ladies more and more who have NOT chosen the life of a bargirl.  They are honestly paid a pittance at whatever endeavor they choose and are showing some real mental discipline when the alternative must be very attractive to them.  Especially when you're talking about the real hot ones who you know could be raking in a bundle of cash if they chose the world's oldest profession.

Now in BKK making this entry.  Last night in Pattaya was without event.  Went to the same beer bar as the previous evening in hopes of finding the same lady who kindly gave me an expert massage at the bar.  Not present.  Unfortunately, the remaining staff were not pleasant company.  I had already ordered pizza and a couple of side dishes at a nearby restaurant with the intention of bringing it to the bar as a treat so we could all eat, but there was no way I was bringing anything to this crew.  What happened to last night’s staff?  One of the bargirls was downright unfriendly and even a bit hostile.  Another observation (also made by others) is the fact that the beer bars seem to have an increasing number of fat ladies.  How much money could they make?  With some of the “walking piano” punters in Pattaya, they must get at least some business.  There's certainly no shortage of fat and grossly obese punters.  Have you ever seen a punter that requires 2 barstools, 1 for each cheek?  Some airlines are making these individuals purchase 2 seats on the plane because they cannot fit into one (I’m not making this up).  So anyway, on my very last evening in Pattaya, returned to my abode at 9:30 PM and went khon diao once again, and with no regrets.  I felt no need to go balls-to-the-wall just because it was my last night.  The longer I’m in Thailand, the more I revert to my ways back in my home country, which certainly does not include any involvement with ladies of the night or even attendance at cabarets.  I would venture to say that I would probably never, or at least rarely ever, partake of the naughty nightlife in the LOS if I lived there.  There’s an old saying that goes: ‘Don’t shit where you eat’.  As long as you only visit on holiday, though, and don’t get too carried away, what’s the harm?

A last observation from Pattaya is the number of touts present there during this trip, it being the high season.  If you are at a beer bar, expect to be hassled by a tout about every 2 minutes, no exaggeration.  It does not matter if you are talking with a lady, playing a game, have a lady in your lap, are getting a massage from Lek, are computing the trajectory of interplanetary asteroids predicated on their hyperbolic intersection of galactic....(etc, etc)—-no matter what you are doing, they will not fail to hassle you in the belief that you just can’t resist buying some of the completely worthless CRAP they have for sale.  It gets offensive after a while.  My last week or 2, they didn’t even get a “Mai ao khrap” anymore.  I just sat there and ignored them.  In BKK, it’s not as bad.  The only really irritating ones there are the scum who approach you with dirty pictures of ladies and tell you that they can get any one of them for you.  I honestly cannot fathom even the stupidest, most forlorn farang in Thailand going through one of these creeps to find himself a lady.

Woke up this morning and did not want to venture out to Universe Gym.  The place is so depressing.  They have 3 treadmills, and 2 of them have been broken for the entire almost 4 weeks I've been in Thailand, and according to J, have been broken for as long as he can remember.  When they get fixed, they stay that way for exactly ONE day.  What a travesty.  So, instead of going there, I ran for from Naklua, through Pattaya, to just past Jomtien and back....a good distance in this heat, humidity and pollution.  Really the only place conducive to running around Pattaya is along Jomtien Beach.  Beach Road in Pattaya is OK if you start your run early enough, but after about 8-9 AM gets crowded.

Another piece of shit taxi driver.  After taking me from Pattaya to BKK, he tried to double-charge me for the highway tolls.  After spending about 60 seconds with this chiseling creep, he not only did not get the money (which would have been twice that I'd given it to him), he also didn’t get the tip I had planned to give him.  My experience with these taxi drivers has been so consistent....consistently BAD.

Honey Hotel booked me into a King room but did not allow me to keep the room for more than one night, so I went about 200 meters around the corner to the Vega House, which is just as good or better and similarly priced.  I recommend it.  Last night, had a quick beer at Nana Plaza before heading out to Khao Sarn Road.  Khao Sarn Road is a small area, maybe a bit longer than a football field, but was really rocking, it being a Saturday night.  I remember Stick saying that his impression was that many of the females there preferred farangs: there were indeed many Thai ladies with farangs.  There were many farangs.....period.  Some looked like they were parading around with ladies they were renting.  Well, this is a good place to hang out.  Went into a couple of places to include Gulliver's and Susie Bar.  AVOID Susie Bar.  No elaboration: just avoid the place (you’ve been warned).  To summarize, wound up having a couple of drinks and chatting it up with an attractive lady...and it felt refreshing to be with a non-bargirl.  You just don't have that "unclean" feeling that you may at times get in the gogo or beer bars, especially when mixing with some of the customers.  Anyway, we had a decent time, although she said some fairly strange things to me.  Passed it off to her having a few too many Heinekens.  We went to a quieter place and chatted some more, and she talked about her long lost love from my home country......a little too much.  She continued to make some pretty awkward comments, which I blissfully just blew off.  In reality, it usually takes a lot to get under my skin, as I have trained myself over the years to tolerate most anything and carry on with a smile.  If things go bad, I just walk away.  Well, we have a dinner date for this evening at what is supposed to be a really nice restaurant on top of the Baiyoke Sky Building, which has a really nice view of the city, it being the tallest building in BKK.  Looking forward to it.

Hit California Fitness Center again today: certainly a target-rich environment for snapper.  M was there again, the lady I met a couple weeks back, and this time we were carrying on with all sorts of suggestive sexual innuendo during our workout, keeping things really lively and laughing it up.  She is in great shape with not an ounce of fat.  Is she growing on me?  She was putting her fingers through the couple of small holes in my tee shirt in a provocative way at one point, and I ran my fingers through her hair.  A song came over the sound system, you know the one...."What's your flavor?  Baby, what's your flavor."  So I playfully and conspicuously charged up to her, got really close to her grill, and asked, "What's your flavor?  Baby, what's your flavor?" as the song was playing.  She responded awkwardly as a Thai lady might do that does not have a perfect command of English, "Ice cream".  I loved it all the more.  I parried with "Mine is vanilla, with sugar".  I was actually starting to get wood in the fucking gym.  The blood was beginning to flow in the wrong direction.  I was then about to work abs, so I asked her "Would you like to work 'love muscles' together?", patting my stomach as I said this.  Did she ever.  I really think I could have slammed the ham right there in the bloody gym.  She was very open and unpretentious.  Didn’t I query her occupation last time?  I forget what she told me, but I think she has to be a bargirl.  Either way, we had a good time and I will see her again tomorrow.

An impression from my 1/2 hour at Nana Plaza last night having a quick beer (being strictly in the observation mode) is that there is a generally different clientele there than in Pattaya.  You have more of a business class and lower age bracket at Nana.  Pattaya has more of the older sorts.  Lady quality is also better in Nana appearance-wise, but there are just so many ladies in Pattaya that this does not matter when it comes right down to it.  If you are looking for the best bargain for your cash, Pattaya is the choice, although you will be mixing with a more dodgy group of punters if that matters to you.

My hat's off to Stick once again for telling me about Khao Sarn Road.  Although many of the ladies there were already taken, you have a decent chance of finding yourself some good action down there.  It must be said, and at the risk of sounding arrogant, (which is not my intention, but let’s tell it like it is), that if you are seeking a lady 1/3 your age and/or are physically challenged, don't bother with Khao Sarn Road.  The competition will be stiff because there are lots of guys there, too, but the ladies are available.  If you fall into the overweight (i.e., have not been physically able to see your own genitals for some time by reason of your protruding gut), sloppy, or guy who wants to date a lady 1/3 his age category, stick with Pattaya.

E, the young lady I met at Khao Sarn Road, met me at the Baiyoke Sky Building for dinner.  It turned out to be a 1st class buffet (410 baht per dinner) with a spectacular view of the city.  Always being a fan of high up places, this was great.  Did I mention that E struck me as a bit strange when we first met?  Well, there was just about no way she could fuck up a good dinner, right?  I was in for a surprise.  Check this out, brethren Stickman readers.  This little CUNT (and that's giving her credit) was the SOOOOOOOOOO rude....how rude was she?  I will offer a laundry list of sorts, but it's just a case of "you had to be there".  For starters, she showed up a half hour late and lied about waiting for me on the 18th floor of the building where they sell the dinner buffet tickets.  OK, no problem, let's just eat.  Caveman’s still good to go, happy as a pig in shit.  Well, during the meal, this young lady began inexplicably hurling one off-the-cuff insult after another, laughing alone at the small and really stupid jokes she was making, which were anything but funny.  This was unreal: couldn’t believe my ears.  She needed professional help for sure.  And this time, there were no Heinekens involved.  And here was a lady who worked in an office (in accounting according to her) and (literally) did not know how to use a knife to cut meat.  Curious, wouldn't you think?  She had the exquisite habit of eating with her mouth open, making that disgusting smacking sound.  Better she just fart right at the dinner table.  She mentioned how she would like to make it to America sometime, but said that Immigration required that she have 6 million baht in her bank account and some Thailand property in her name.  That wouldn't be a suggestion, now, would it?  I asked her where she got her information, because there is no such requirement.  About 1/2 hour later, the same subject was broached, and the monetary figure changed to 3 million baht.  Amazing!  I had brought a picture from my hotel room and gave it to her, and so requested that she email me a picture of herself.  No reply.  Don’t you fucking love the propensity that some Thais have of avoiding a direct question?  I asked her again.  No reply.  She just sat there with this strange puzzled expression, moving her head around and even tilting it the way a dog does when it wants to listen intently to something, and otherwise acting as if she didn’t hear me, but maybe was listening to the chirping of some far-off birds, or buzzing of bees, or some other whacked out shit.  I continued asking her for about 15 minutes, deciding that I was not going to let her off the hook and determined to get an answer.  She finally told me something to the effect that “You know that some people can do magic with pictures”, and went on to elaborate that she believed my intention might be to use the picture in some sort of voodoo ritual to bring her bad luck or ill health.  “Do you really believe that?” I asked incredulously but also dying to hear what she would pull out of her ass next.  No reply.  Asked again......etc, etc, etc.  There are more examples of exactly how far out in the twilight zone this bitch was, but it’s mostly a case of the whole picture she gave.  She was so unpleasant to be with that I'm surprised I didn't just walk away and leave her there (in hindsight, I should have).  After eating and as we were walking out, from behind me she reached into my back pocket where she had seen my money and credit cards as if to steal them.  It was done in so obvious a way that I couldn't be 100% certain that she was not just joking (only 99.9%), which really didn't matter to me at that point.  A fucking pickpocket to boot!  We finally reached the ground floor of the building after an elevator ride that lasted a fucking eternity (I would have purposely farted out loud if I could have....fuck, this must be the only occasion where I actually wanted to have gas, but was empty), and I just walked away from her without saying a word.  She pursued me on foot for a while, shouting my name, but soon tired of this.  What a fucking nightmare bitch from hell.  Hey, can I pick 'em or what?  She was far more distasteful than any bargirl I have been with, and it wouldn't even be close.  Oh, well, shit happens.  Roll the dice enough times and sooner or later you’re bound to roll snake eyes.  This just goes to show that because she was a "non-bargirl", or at least she so claimed, that did not necessarily mean that she was a better quality person.  In the end the only thing that mattered was that it would have been nice to linger in the restaurant for a while admiring the view, but there was no way I was going to remain there with her.

Went again to Cali Fitness and again encountered M.  She is heading out of town tomorrow, so this is the last I'll see of her, at least until my next visit to Thailand.  Looking forward to hanging out again this evening with Brother Stick, this being my last evening in Thailand.

Had another great time out with Stick, going to a place or 2 as well as Nana Plaza and melting into the sea of humanity that is BKK.  Boy, some of those ladies at Nana are so adept at tempting you.  I found one to be especially tempting, so I bought her a drink and held her in Daddy’s arms while Stick laughed his ass off.  No barfining here, though; the negotiating just smacks too much of "pure prostitution" if you get my drift.  But no problem with buying a lady a drink or 2.  I must say, and at the risk of sounding patronizing, that Stick is always really fun to hang out with, and that’s selling him short indeed.  I feel like I’m hanging out with my brother.  Especially like his sense of humor, which I share with him, as well as opinions and preferences on a myriad of subjects.  It would be very easy to write a couple of pages here, but suffice it to say that Stick is a first class, straight-up, level-headed gentleman who knows how to enjoy things.  One lady mistook us for brothers.  My impression is that he’s the kind of friend who’s there when you need him, and isn’t that the best kind?  OK, Stick, you can send that check out to me now :)  And with the lovely Mrs. Stick....hey, there may be some twigs on the way.  Long live the Stickmeister.

Hours before departure to Don Muang, got an email from back home that informed me that one of my best friends that I grew up with has contracted Guillain-Barre Syndrome and is consequently completely paralyzed and even on a machine that breathes for him.  This is news of the worst sort.  He is one of the guys that came to Thailand with me on my first visit (Felipe, which is not his real name) and is included in my Thai Journal.  He is so energetic, lively, vibrant, and colorful a person...it’s all the more difficult to take knowing that it happened to someone who loves life like he does.

Hey, the taxi driver to airport was honest(!), so he got a whopping tip.  Wonders never cease, and it was the last taxi of my trip.

Flight home was painful but uneventful.  It's always good to be home, but I wonder when I'll be able to return.  Now I've got to get used to speaking English again, believe it or not.  Found myself still using Thai almost all the way home, even after leaving Thailand.  Hey, studying Thai really paid off.

I cannot add many conclusions not already mentioned in this expansive journal (coincidentally, about 1 page for every day).  Any regrets?  Not really, unless maybe I should have spent more time in places other than Pattaya.  Pattaya is much maligned, and some of this is deserved, while some of this must be taken in perspective.  Pattaya is certainly a repository of mixed company, this much is true.  But let’s not deny that element that can make it a really fun place to go to: endless supplies of ladies.  As the song goes, “Girls, girls, girls”.  Like it or not, pundits, (to include MOI!), boys will be boys.  Hormones will rage on, and men will continue to chase ladies as long as there is a Sun, Moon, and stars.  So Pattaya is bound to draw endless supplies of farangs who want to sample the goodies.  Add to that the fact that Pattaya has some really decent hotels, very cheap motorcycle rentals (always KEY!), great prices on most everything, good apartments, nightlife, a beach, Walking Street and all its action, great restaurants, boating and other watersport activities aplenty....the list goes on.  Pattaya is a perfect example of the ying/yang concept, where it is said that everything on Earth is neither entirely good nor entirely bad: there are elements of each in everything.  There is plenty of fun to be had in Pattaya for the single male tourist.  It can make the old feel young again, and it can make the young feel exhausted!  Just don’t let your vacation begin and end there if you can help it.  Thailand really does have so much more to offer.  Head just about anywhere upcountry (Chiang Mai, Chiang Rai, Khon Kaen, Nongkhai....) and you won’t regret it.  Take your lady there to keep you company.  It is a real eye opener and will expand your horizons and even your perspective on life.  The state of Utah has a license plate that reads “The greatest show on Earth” because of its magnificent and unequalled beauty, and it is truly deserved.  But they should share this descriptive phrase with the LOS.

Finally, I had a fantastic time during this, my 3rd vacation to Thailand.  May your journey be as pleasant.  As they say in Biker Heaven, my fellow brethren Stickman readers, “Keep the dirty side down.”  Wrap that rascal.  See y’all.
 

Stickman says:

Great report that had it all - facts, opinions and great analysis too.  It is also nice to see that someone can have a nice holiday in Thailand, treat the girls well, but manage to keep it all in perspective.  As you pointed out, one doesn't need to take a bargirl every night to have fun - there is so much else going on.

While I'd like to comment on some of the points you made, there really are just too many to go back over.  I really liked what the Swedish had to say about Thai women being ungrateful and I pity the poor Austrian who has his Miss Thailand on the way over soon.  And that drunk fellow who was hanging it all out may well have got a hiding later on...

Thailand trip reports have just been set a new benchmark to be measured by.

The author of this article can be contacted at: cromagnon9669@yahoo.com

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