Stickman's guide to Bangkok
Tips To Find A Good Girl
I would give some observations on how difficult a "good girl" finds it in Bangkok to find a "good guy", especially if she likes farang.
My wife's best friend is a Thai Chinese lady in her early thirties. She is attractive, ravishable in more of a Chinese or Chiang Mai than a lowland Thai way, well educated (Chula and proper English courtesy of the British Council), runs several businesses (import / export), works very hard, has a good disposable income, dresses well and fashionably, excruciatingly honest, great fun to be with, speaks 4 languages, hangs out at the Londoner but prefers the Conrad etc.
I really cannot sing the praises of this lady enough BUT I have failed in three years of looking and sifting to find her a suitable husband candidate and she is becoming really sad. I have tried Thais, expatriate Chinese, expatriate farangs, mates of mine from HK, members of the BC rugby team (desperation creeping in), on the internet, in the pub, at parties, functions, balls etc. WHERE ARE ALL THE GOOD GUYS?
I will say at this point that some of my male Thai friends are absolute smashers. Good looking, sense of humour, well educated, fluent English etc. but all unfaithful, routine whoremongers of the highest grade but tasteful and discreet. (Respectable girls do not jump into bed with them etc. lazy gits). Well to do Thai guys are great fun but become tarred with the same brush and the lower echelons are not suitable as they will resent her
success and income.
I have filtered dozens of farang prospects with my simple background check, take them to the bar. Whoremongers are out as are alcoholics (hence most of my friends) and dis-organised, chaotic people (my brother, rich but chaotic) and extremely physically challenged (though standards are not that high in this regard). All she is looking for is a genuine, single, educated man of age 30 to 45 who would be prepared to settle down and share their life. Income is not important, ability to speak Thai irrelevant, even English
teachers may apply.
Which brings me to my point on my experience of participating in and observing the mating game in Bangkok and carefully crafting my dodgy image over the years. If you are looking for a "good" girl of the highest quality then they exist but you must market yourself. My top few dozen tips for expats (some items may be downscaled for English teachers but you will get my drift) to get them past initial scrutiny:
1. Do not barfly.
2. Do not whore.
3. Get a haircut every month.
4. Dress respectably, clean and neat, even stylish casual but never scruffy.
5. Appear to be a solid middle class professional even if not. Cufflinks and tie on a tailored white shirt screams solvent and respectable.
6. Do not get sucked in. Thai ladies can welcome you into their warm soft bodies, then their warm soft minds and you are a goner, a piece of helpless meat.
7. See who you are talking to beyond the pretty face and trim body, be critical of class and circumstances, corroborate all life stories where possible .
8. Only hang out with the right standard of friend, your friends say a lot about you.
9. Do not bring cheaply dressed or groomed women to your office or apartment, this shows who they are at a glance.
10. Go to better places. Cheap Charlie's on Sukhumvit Soi 11 or even CM2 is not the place and Nana Plaza or Cowboy is pathetic.
11. If you meet a barfly for a drink, Soi 33 is almost acceptable in expat circles (strange but true) and their opinion of you may count.
12. Live here or come for long vacations with an express purpose, pointless hanging around will deter many prospects.
13. Meet people who are not at the bottom of the social strata, let them know you are single and available and not an idiot.
14. Keep yourself clean-shaven, well groomed and free from vice (and lice).
15. Do not mention how much money you have, the signs will be positive if you follow these rules.
16. Pay the bill at dinner at nice Italian restaurants, good girls love Italian food (Spaghetti Alfredo a sign of an unsophisticated?)
17. Do not worry about being fluent in Thai, your ideal mate already speaks better English than you do, but do be witty and sincere and don't ape Thai customs such as the wai unless you are really experienced, they know you are not Thai.
18. If you expect / demand sexual aerobics on night 1 or even month 3 save your time and money now.
19. Consider getting a good address / house to live in or even share. (Get a Thai lady to help) A good house IS CHEAPER than a condo.
20. Get a car, preferably imported or new. No one walks unless poor. If clapped out Toyota claim it is a company car but keep it very clean. (i.e. your driver must have polished it but you have given him the night off)
21. If you have a live in maid or security or front desk, NEVER take anyone home at night ESPECIALLY TWO AT A TIME.
22. If she brings friends on your date do not worry, more the merrier, you are being vetted and may be accepted. DO NOT GET DRUNK.
23. Do not talk about bars, women, your exploits in Makati, your best lay, how you love Thai ladies, BUT do feel free to explain why farang women are crap.
24. Do not show overt affection in public, Thai ladies are sensitive and sober enough to tell if you like them.
YOU WILL BE IN DEMAND
Thanks Stick, got that off the chest.
I agree with most of the points, but.... This lady friend of yours who is looking for someone and who hangs out at Conrad? Well, Conrad is outrageously expensive by Bangkok standards. 750 baht cover charge t get in last time I was there - needless to say, I turned around. And getting a car? Are you for real? Unless you have a lot of money, cars are very expensive in Thailand and driving in Bangkok is a right pain in the ass. I agree with most of your points, but feel that perhaps they are skewed a little towards the moneyed Western professional working here, not that there is anything wrong with that.
The author of this submission wishes to remain anonymous.
Return to Readers Submissions index
All feedback is welcome - please forward email to email@example.com.