Stickman's guide to Bangkok

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Massages

By  Belgian Boy



The first time I had a massage was in Belgium in 1972 after I crashed my bike...  I was racing on a closed circuit with a 250 cc bike from Honda as a test ride, as I raced already for 2 years with the European juniors (under 18).  I was 17 at the time and I managed to crash in a bad turn after my brakes failed.  I was doing about 150 mph at that moment, just a wee bit fast...  I broke my neck and my whole right side from shoulder to toe, the worst was my foot and heel broken on 17 different places and the neck.  I'll not tell you the hell I went through, but it was definitely not my idea of sanuk.  Four months in and out of hospitals and long rehabilitation, but twice a day a rubbing and massage.  It was a man, but lord, he had golden hands!  To compensate for all pains, he always ended the day with a fantastic rubbing with a sweet oil.  This is 28-29 years ago, but I can still smell the oil he used.

While at university I did spend one summer holiday in a kibbutz in Israel.  I met a Spanish girl there, working as a volunteer just like me, and we moved to one room together.  I had a wonderful time there as I 'discovered' my body, touching and massaging one another.  She had different massage oils with her, and she enjoyed giving me massages, as well as teaching me how to massage, touch and arouse her...  I can tell you that it was a very oily business every night....  Lots of fun, did a lot of learning there, never to be forgotten as I always have a bottle of massage oil around nowadays....

Have you ever had a Turkish massage ?  Hmmm, nice and oily...  Available - of course - all over Turkey, but also in some nice good hotels in Europe.  Go to a good bathhouse, or ask your hotel where you can get one, it is worthwhile!  A nice hot shower, followed by a long steaming bath gets you to the table for your massage.  A man's job in Turkey, but don't worry, the better massages have to be done by men.  The Turkish massage is a deep massage combined with a lot of kneading, but with lots of oil, starting with the back and the legs, ending with your arms, shoulders, neck and head.  You end with 3 to 4 showers to get all the oil off!  The fun is to go with friends sharing a room during the massage, with whom afterwards one can go to dinner and more fun....

A Chinese massage is a total different experience at all...  I spend lots of time in Dubai, and had very long, boring, free evenings...  The hotel did have a special Chinese massage, which I tried.  I guess the guy just flew in from his little village back in China, he spoke 3 words of English, tried to explain him the do's and dont's...  A shower and a lay down on the table, where after a very nice hand massage the guy started kneading me like dough, turning, twisting and prodding me all over.  Did I mention the guy had hands as big as shovels?  I'll tell you I never felt worse than right there, but after the pain, he started easing all those - on purpose afflicted ? - pains right out of me, and I never felt better.  I'm a lousy sleeper getting an average of 4 1/2 to 5 hours a night, but after his massage I got a straight 10 hours guaranteed, I even sleep much better after a massage than after sex...

Ever tried a massage in Japan?  My memory is fading a little as last time there was in 1992, but I do remember vividly all that they did to me...  I was invited twice to a massage place in Ginza, places that are very luxurious in aspects and looks : in the locker room one gets undressed, pants go for a pressing and shoes for a shining.  A hot shower, a hot sauna, a cold shower, return to sauna, and Jacuzzi...  You get out, you get dried by assistants (did I mention all male assistants?), dressed in a kimono and you go to a rest room with long chairs to rest (to rest from what?).  If wanted one can get nails clipped, ears cleaned and feet massaged in the restroom, and - oh yes ! - now it is an all-girl service now!  The most important job follows : discussion with the mamasan to book the girls, either you know them and you can book them, and if you don't, a book is presented with photos to choose from.  Or just ask what your special requests are, mamasan knows best....  Get 2 girls anyway to keep you busy and happy, specially when invited because going by yourself one cannot afford to go there anyway and also my host suggested 2 girls.  So, from restroom to private massage room where a few minutes later the 2 ordered girls come in.  Get undressed and get your massage, which in actual fact is not really a rest - or medicinal massage, but from start to finish more like a purely erotic massage culminating in a sex massage, basically you have a hard on from start to finish for close to 2 hours.  As mentioned in a previous story, Japanese girls are not really too pretty, however they get to be prettier every day you stay there, even after 10 days there one might give a full 8 points to a very ugly one.  Point is that the sex mathematics there is definitely that 2 times 6 is a lot more than one 10!  The girls use finger touch, nails, body, tongue and oil.  Mmmmmm wonderful.  The speciality is to finish you off with a BJ or HJ and with a finger up your ass massaging your prostate.  Believe me that it is a speciality, it appears quite difficult to find and to excite as well.  When you reach your orgasm it is sooo hard and long, you cant believe it, all with the prostate thing.

In Vietnam, massages are really excellent in regard to quality for money.  You find the massage shops all over, and even in the large hotels.  Mostly it is a foot massage combined with back, shoulders, arms and head.  All fixed prices between $8 - 15 for about 90 minutes.  All is public, dressed and very decent...  You sit in a relaxing chair, the massage girl on a small stool in front of you, massaging your feet one by one while you sip tea and watch the news on television.  After the feet, you sit on the small stool, she stands behind you and does the back (yes, you are still dressed as well), your neck, shoulders, arms and head.  It is a very refreshing and invigorating massage.  While in Vietnam, I try to have my massage every day.  I find the best time to do this after work and before having dinner and hitting the bars....

Before ending in LOS, first another stop in Hong Kong.  The only experiences there are the sauna / massage clubs, where - again - I'm always invited.  Last time in September, my host and me, sauna, restroom and massage was a whopping $900!  And that is before dinner, drinks and hitting the clubs afterwards!  A lot is similar to Japan : same style dressing room, shower, sauna and jaccuzzi.  Same style restroom with the girls and services where you book a massage.  Difference here is always one-on-one, 2 girls is not done...  I should not say girls either, all are women in their prime (or past prime) years.  In all those years going there, I think the youngest was about 30, then again their job is massaging.  You stay covered under towels, except for the parts being massaged, she stays fully dressed and uses only her hands.  Of course during the leg massage you will feel a few fingers lingering on your balls, just to get you going....it is a game to them, you want more, she will get paid more as well.....  Only think extra she will do is get you a hand job, something I don't like others to do to me, as I'm fully convinced that I can do a better (and cheaper) job myself...  So, after the massage, one more shower to get the oil off, get dressed, drinks, dinner and party time around town.  I've done this for about 15 years, about 3 to 5 times a year, earliest I was back in the hotel was about 4 AM, latest was just before the breakfast buffet was closing...

Now, least but not last, massages in Thailand, where I must make 3 categories :  fun, fun and more fun!  Should I bore you guys with another story of massages in paradise?  Just a quick word on what is available : a very traditional Thai massage, all neat and clean, next to that you have the soapy and oil massages, which are basically sex massages.  If in LOS, one must go to a traditional massage, preferably a 2 hour massage, price about $8 - 15, depending on the location.  I always go a very small place where you cannot find other farangs, take your shoes off, sit down and have your feet washed. Then to the room in semi-darkness, undress down to your underwear and put on a kind of Bermuda and loose shirt and lay down on the mattress on the floor.  In comes the massage lady (dressed - and it stays that way!) and starts massaging you by kneading, pulling and twisting you in all kinds of figures.  A quick drink break after an hour, and one more hour of pleasure.  Don't forget to tip her, they earn nearly nothing and they are very good in their trade.  I was told that in the 'old' days, the best massage ladies had their eyes punctured and blinded to make them even more efficient in feeling with their hands.  Horrible story, but probably true.  As mentioned above, I sleep badly, but after a massage I sleep like a baby, or back to business and one more round of sanuk!  I don't like the soapies too much, but when invited, does one say no?  Often invited by business partners in the big clubs around Bangkok where farangs are only tolerated because they are invited...  A soapy is basically same as an oil massage, and I will elaborate on oily massages, ok ?  Go to the big clubs or to the small barber shops with massage advertisements and choose your girl, or even girls.  The routine is more or less the same : one gets undressed by your companion(s), showered or bathed, where she will kneel in front of you in the bath to give you a wash, and eventually a little smoke to see if she washed it ok.  Move to the table or bed after drying off and get your oil massage.  Some girls are so great and good in massages, one just forgets about the sex to follow, no kidding.  I have done fancy things in the past, one on one, 2 girls and even quite a few times 3 girls at one time doing each girl 3-ways as well, but I have recently 'settled' down with 2 sisters.  I mean they give a mean massage, and perfectly synchronised!  I'm on my stomach for the first hour, each starts on a leg working their way up to the shoulders and arms.  Once done, I turn and they start again from feet up, but somehow they always get lost halfway, and what happens next, one must find out next time one goes to an oily massage with 2 girls....  Problem is that the massage is a prelude to sex, and that basically I love another massage after sex, so that it always take me more than the average 2 hours, but then again it is so hard to say no...

I hope my little travels did help you find out that, although good massages can be had anywhere if you look for it, but that LOS is definitely the place to be, my favourite and probably the favourite for most of us.
 
 

Stickman says:

Hell, just reading this makes me want to go and get a massage.  I don't know if they are imaginary or not but I suddenly feel all sorts of aches and pains that my not have been there before I started reading this story.
 


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