The Older Man’s Perspective

There have been frequent mentions on “Readers Submissions”, and excerpts from emails about “fat old guys” etc. and I thought I would give you my views on the subject, being what most of you would consider old. Actually I still feel about 17, except that I know certain things have slowed down. However, even we oldies still get a great deal of pleasure from love and affection. OK maybe “ the parts that other beers cannot reach” are not working at 100% efficiency, but for the most of us they still work, and even if they don’t ( which I know to be the case with quite a few), there is still a lot of satisfaction an older man can get from a friendly, loving Thai lady. I do not condone a 60 year old going around with an 18 year old, that just looks ridiculous, and some guys are stupid enough to do just that. However, there are plenty of Thai ladies of 30 and upwards still working, and it does not look too bad to tie up with one of those.

I can hear you ask why we don’t hook up with a farang lady of our own age. Well some explanation is needed I suppose, so I list below some comments, which should enlighten you youngsters.

“There is more chance of a woman over 50 being shot by a terrorist than getting married” – Joan Rivers (a woman of a certain age herself)

“Once the menopause has kicked in no man in his right mind could fancy a woman who needs cement to fill the wrinkles”

“A man’s body may be ageing, but his mind still remembers the nights of passion, and will keep trying to relive them if he gets a chance”

“The over 50 male in western civilization cannot fancy women his own age, but has no chance of pulling a younger woman he fancies unless he is loaded (money wise)”

So given the above explanations I ask you to turn your mind to a guy in his early 50’s, divorced, but still active, and he comes to Thailand to enjoy a couple of weeks with his friends Scuba Diving. He has heard about the sex pots of Bangkok etc., but can hardly believe it, and even if it’s true he has no intention of getting mixed up in it.

Once he arrives in BKK and goes out on the town with his friends the same happens to him as happens to you lot, and it is extremely difficult to refuse the offers he gets. However, he is older and wiser than most of you, and does hold out for a couple of nights. By this time he is just about having a nervous breakdown, and is more than a little relieved to get out of BKK, and head for the real purpose of the holiday in Phuket. He will be glad to get to the tranquility of Patong Beach where they get the boat everyday, and in the night he can sit and have a few quiet beers with the boys!!!!!!!!

After landing at Phuket they have no chance to look at Patong. They go to the hotel to dump some baggage and take the dive gear to the boat for the days diving. A good day on the boat and return to Phuket. The bus takes them straight to the hotel. Shower, meet in the bar. A couple of beers, and go to look for a nice meal.

OH NO!!!!!!! WHAT THE F**K. J*S*S H. CH*I*T. IT’S F*****G WORSE THAN BKK. WHAT THE F**K AM I GOING TO DO?

Well rather than a breakdown he gets pissed, and the inevitable happens. After that he really enjoys himself. After that also he is hooked, and will return as often as he can.

Something else happens to this guy also.

Before he comes on this adventure he has been divorced for a few years, and only gets the occasional shag. Sometimes he pays, but he has got out of practice, and the less you use it the more it is off your mind. He has also let himself go quite a bit, and the result is that he is quite a bit over weight. However, after the first taste of Thai good life he takes himself in hand. He is more than a little ashamed of his physique when he strips in front of a Thai lady. When he gets home he takes out membership to a local gym, and hits the weights and the pool regularly. His weight slowly goes down, and his body starts to look a hell of a lot better with no clothes on (which is the purpose of the exercise).

His blood pressure goes down together with his weight, and he is excited about the next trip, which is keeping his mind active, and holding senile dementia at bay. So all in all Thailand is improving the health of quite a few male Caucasians, and quite probably doing the same for other ethnic groups.

So when you see a fat old guy with a Thai lady, bear this article in mind, and don’t think you are superior. The old guys themselves are thinking “What the f***k are these young guys doing out here? When I was their age I was having more than my fair share back home, without paying. They must be the ones who have some sexual problems, and can’t make it back home. Mind you the vast majority are ugly bastards”

So what the hell are you lot doing in Thailand anyway?

Stickman says:

It is hard to comment as I am still but a spring chicken, enjoying a prolonged youth….no Viagara for this fellow just yet.