Is She a Hooker and Are You a Sucker?
My Thai girlfriend said a tiny penis isn’t a problem, but I’d still prefer it if she didn’t have one. The joke holds no relevance to the following but I thought it was too good not to share. On to the main event:
Napster’s recent submission Five months in Bangkok and Counting prompted me to write this piece about paying for and supporting
Thai girls. With an interlude about whether it’s cheaper in the long run just to pay.
The guys who really believe all Thai girls are just looking for money tend to have a skewed view of this country. I was enjoying a drink in a quiet hotel bar I like to drink in from time to time. A chap sat down next to me and started to chat – assuming that because we were both from the UK I would appreciate his company. Being quite the anthropologist, he informed me “pretty much all Thai women are prostitutes”. I found it hard to respect his argument when we got a little further into the conversation and he told me that he’d been to Thailand five times and had never visited anywhere other than Nana Plaza and Soi Cowboy (which he admitted was a bit far from his hotel on soi 4 for his liking). If you spend even the majority of your time around bars and bargirls you are viewing the country through a filter that’s completely unrepresentative. It’s like only spending time in Soho in London and then claiming that the majority of guys in the UK are gay.
If you’re paying your girlfriend I’d suggest she’s a prostitute and you’re a customer. There are some exceptions but are you really one of them? I have a friend whose boyfriend is supporting her while she takes English lessons to improve her chances of getting a visa. They dated for over a year before this happened and it was his suggestion not hers. She recently told me how bad she feels, as she’d always been able to do everything for herself before.
Myself, and the expat farangs I associate with her are not paying or supporting girls in any way other than paying for drinks and meals when on dates. This is something I’d do in the UK albeit for more money!
Friends
Farang A is French, mid 20s and works as a teacher. His girlfriend is smoking hot and a few years older than him. She’s university educated with time spent on an exchange in the USA. Her English is top notch for both vocabulary and accent. His wage is pretty low and they split everything 50/50 including rent, bills and any socialising costs.
Farang B is American, late 20s and works remotely. His girlfriend works as a receptionist in one of the top hotels in Bangkok. She’s a really cute girl. They split everything 50/50.
Farang C is English, 22 years old and is studying at the top university in Bangkok. He finds the idea of paying girls ridiculous (either in a one night or girlfriend situation) and often jokes they should be paying him.
Girls
Girl A is originally from close to Chang Mai and has a good job earning around 30k a month including commission. I pay for our meals and tickets if we go to the cinema but nothing else. She often will buy me food and bring it to my place and she brings me small gifts almost every week. We went away together for the weekend and she paid a significant amount towards the trip and wouldn’t take no for an answer. I’d expect her spend totaled around 4k and mine around 6k.
Girl B is from south of Bangkok. She worked in sales but now doesn’t have a job and is looking for a new one. Despite that she has never asked me for money. Again I only pay for food/cinema. For my birthday she bought me an expensive gift and when we go anywhere she always offers to pay her share.
Girl C is from just outside Bangkok. Her family owns a large factory and she has a decent job. I’ve never spent anything on her – she literally comes to my condo for sex and nothing else. I’ve not spent time with her anywhere else.
Girl D is a gogo dancer at one of the big clubs on Soi Cowboy. When there with some friends I told her I didn’t pay for sex and she took my number. I’ve been sleeping with her ever since a couple of times a month. Amazing sex but she’s batshit crazy and not as hot as any of the other girls I’m seeing. I once bought her a can of Pepsi at the 7/11 near her house – the last of the big spenders.
Thai Female Friends
Girl A is a university student from a very poor family. She’s stunning but has very little money. She frequently gets offers for guys to ‘take care of her’ in exchange for being their ‘gig’. Despite this she’s still using her basic Nokia phone and sticking with her farang boyfriend who may give her nothing financially but they are of a similar age and they have fun together.
Girl B is what I would assume to be hi-so – lives in a large house, has a maid, brand new car, dad drives a high end Mercedes, private school, top university, summers in Europe and America and parents own their own company and a large amount of property. When we spend time together we alternate in paying. She bought me great gifts for my birthday and Christmas. The idea of guys sponsoring girls offends her massively and she holds both sides of that kind of arrangement in very low regard.
Girl C is an Isaan girl working in Bangkok. She loves Korean and Singaporean guys, has a good job and buys gifts for all her friends on their birthdays.
Girl D is a teacher at a top school and has a Dutch boyfriend who lives in the Netherlands. He doesn’t send her money and she doesn’t expect or require it.
Myself, Girls A, C and D and Farangs A,B and C are all part of a group that go out to clubs together regularly. Everyone always pays their own way and it’s never been suggested that the guys should be the ones to fund the nights out.
On the fact of guys suggesting that it’s cheaper to pay girls lets do a bit of maths:
On average I sleep with 3 different girls per week – two regular girls and one random/new girl. One of the regular girls will most likely stay over 2 nights. That’s 4 nights of “action” per week. In all instances with the regular girls they will sleep over and with a random girl there’s a 50% chance she will, for this experiment we’ll assume she doesn’t. Below would be my outgoings.
– 3x Meal for 2 at market/street with regular girl. 200 baht per meal. Total 600
– 2x Meal for 2 at somewhere slightly more expensive (something like sunrise tacos, food loft, sizzler). 750 per meal. Total 1500
– Cinema. Total 600
– Incidental costs. DVDs, taxis, etc. Total 400
– Total: £2100
If I wanted to pay for 3 full nights with gogo/bar girls and one short time the bar fines alone would be higher than that. Plus half the costs above are for me!
In my experience these types of girls are way hotter than the girls who are working in bars anyway, they aren’t drinking and smoking (or worse) every night and they are often health conscious and go to the gym. I’ve met 2 of Napster’s girls and seen pics of the others – they put the fat shufflers on Soi Cowboy to shame. Most of these girls are lazy and greedy – there are numerous other options to them but they are too lazy to take them and/or their materialistic needs can’t be fulfilled on a standard wage. I just don’t get why a guy would want to fund the lifestyle of a girl like that when they are likely only going to get headache and heartache in return.
If you are one of the chaps who seriously believes that all Thai girls are prostitutes or money grabbers then maybe you are going to the wrong places and if you’re not I suggest you take a long hard look in the mirror. What is it about you or what are you lacking to make you attract these types of women into your life.
I have no interest in paying for a girl. With the right girl I’m happy to spoil them but the type of vacuous vagina on legs who thinks being provided for is their god given right holds no interest for me whether Thai or farang. If a girl is with you because she loves you for you then you’re in a decent position with someone who should stand by you through the bad times. If she only loves your money then if something goes wrong then you’re going to find yourself broke and alone – something I would guess has driven more than a few chaps to take a leap from a high building.
I’d like to conclude saying I don’t have really have an issue if a man wants to pay a girl for a night, for a week or for the long term – but see it for what it is, what type of person she is and don’t try to justify your situation by assuming that all Thai girls are the same and that all farangs are paying for sex. Most expats I know aren’t and there are a lot of decent hard working girls out there.
Stickman's thoughts:
Bull's-eye!
