A Reality Check – The Same for Every Asian Country

As a mixed Singaporean-Chinese and English guy who has grown up in England and having spent a decent amount of time in Asia I often find myself reading these internet debates almost always from the viewpoint of the Westerner. The debate is basically the same throughout every Asian country’s expat based forums – the local girls are so easy, why do local girls love us foreign men etc.

I find the views portrayed in these threads are usually hugely off the mark and is merely a case of back slapping and artificially pumping each other’s egos whilst simultaneously showing racist tendencies and using every opportunity to put down the local male. When someone like Jayson comes along and portrays a much more accurate portrayal of how things really are you will get the entire message board up in arms when their version of reality is challenged. Quite simply their fragile self esteem that has been pumped up by some sexual conquests just can’t handle it. They will come up with the usual excuses that the poster is just some insecure local guy who is jealous or if it’s a Westerner saying it; that he hasn’t been here long enough or that person has no “game”. When in reality it’s rather painful and embarrassing to watch these reactions. In fact the response from the submissions is actually surprisingly balanced and tame compared to the usual reactions I read.

I currently reside in China and the local guys basically say the exact same thing as Jayson has said and I find myself agreeing with both parties. I can literally count on one, maybe two hands the number of times I have seen a genuinely hot girl with a Western guy in both China and Thailand. This is not to say they are not available but like anywhere it’s not going to be easy and being a Westerner is not going to give you preferential treatment; at best it’s neutral and at worst a large disadvantage. The figure of 30% that was thrown out as the number of girls that would prefer a foreigner is ludicrous. If you could have two identical guys in looks, personality, wealth etc but one was a local guy and another a foreigner I would think the percentage of girls that pick the local guy would be well into the 90s.

This remaining 0-10% of girls that actively seek a foreigner tends to be sexually quite open and aggressive in their pursuit of men. It is not a coincidence that both in Thailand and China that Western males bump into the same girls time and time again in various nightspots or their friends know of the girl already. Quite simply the pool of girls who actually prefer a foreigner is very small and a lot of foreigners are just too lazy to seek a woman outside of it.

This also applies to the younger crowd. One submission that stated that the young, educated and out-going populace of Khao San Road would have girls falling at their feet at RCA or equivalent is fairly amusing. If the attractive Thai girls were interested in such men they would obviously at least occasionally frequent Khao San Road. From the two times I have been there I am quite comfortable in saying the girls there cater much more to Western tastes. From what I understand from my Thai-Chinese relatives the only time they have even been to Khao San Road was when I requested they take me, if this applies to the majority of other Thais maybe someone can enlighten me.

Also, the general clothing attire in Khao San Road of T-shirt, jeans and trainers is just not going to impress any girl of note. This same phenomenon even exists in Beijing where some, mainly the younger foreigners, will go out to clubs dressed like they are going to the beach and yet still firmly believe they will meet a high quality girl. They don’t understand that Chinese girls are some of the most brand name conscious in the World and the way they dress is going to immediately disqualify them. I am positive the same applies in Thailand and the World over; it’s not rocket science to wear a nice shirt, trousers and a good pair of leather shoes.

But sure, a young, educated, well-dressed man will definitely have some success like any attractive male would but not many will have the attributes required to overcome the obstacles to attain the most desirable girls. I spent one month pretty much non-stop clubbing with a group of young and educated western friends of mine and none of them could come close to my Thai-Chinese cousin. This was even in RCA which in my opinion is more Westerner friendly than Ekamai or Thong Lor. <Funny you should say this as a mate and I were in the Ekamai / Thonglor area last night. I'd like to say we were both well-dressed and presented, both can hold a conversation in Thai and we generated ZERO interest – Stick>

Take Chinese students in England. According to your typical western keyboard warrior in Asia, given a Chinese female’s preference for western males as well as the clear abundance of them in England you would probably see close to 100% of these girls having an English boyfriend within a few weeks. In reality this couldn’t be further from the truth. These girls, despite there being a relatively tiny number of Chinese guys to choose from will almost always choose either another native Chinese male or a British-born Chinese male. These girls also happen to be the more affluent, well educated and therefore arguably the most attractive females China has to offer and they are still picking a Chinese male in a Westerner rich environment. Is this because Chinese males are better than English males? No, it’s because it’s perfectly normal to do so; they have the same culture, the same values, they think the same and perhaps most importantly the media has ingrained it into their brain that it’s normal.

I grew up in the South-West of England and I grew up thinking Asian females were on the whole rather unattractive because what I saw in magazines, on the TV and in movies that told me what I should find attractive. Of course this is pretty ridiculous when I am mixed myself but it goes to show how powerful the media is when controlling your tastes and preferences. This is also why you can’t compare Asian females born overseas with those born in Asia as they have essentially been brainwashed with Western values and tastes.

This is not to say that these “hot” girls are unattainable to the Western guy but they certainly aren’t going to fall into your lap and this goes for men of all ages. You are going to have to be even better than the local guy to compensate for the cultural differences and language barrier and to do this you are going to have to be either richer, more handsome, more charming and just all round higher quality according to what the Thai/Chinese female wants (that’s not what you think she wants based on your Western values).