What’s A Girl To Do Indeed!

Melo, Melo, methinks you think too mutt.

I couldn’t work out how old you might be from what you told us. You were educated overseas so you are intelligent and you sound very confident. You have obviously been back in Thailand at least a year or two...maybe more. I am guessing you are about twenty five or so. Do you come from a middle class background or hi-so? You seem to be very naïve and sheltered, so this might help explain why you are confused.

Why is the guy you went out with calling and sending you SMS messages?

Good question.

Perhaps he is equally confused by your behavior. Since you obviously don’t have much experience in the Thailand dating scene you probably don’t really know what you want or what to expect. I am betting this confused your man too. Will she? Does she? What the hell does she want?

So you responded by telling him to get out of your life.

I wonder how much older than you he was? I am betting he wasn’t much older.

A young guy in a city full of women and he meets you; confused, confusing, and unreadable. However, you did eventually sleep with him. How did you like that? I bet he did!

Melo, you posed far more questions than you answered.

Let me sum up, so that we can both get a better idea of who you are and what is troubling you.

You are a party girl, you can drink like a fish, but you don’t seem to be very experienced sexually. You have tried dating a few types of guys, perhaps judging them by their status first. They didn’t meet your expectations. So then you decide to give a farung guy a chance. You went out with him a few times and finally had a romp in bed with him.

That’s about all we can get from your submission.

See the problem?

But I did read between the lines. Your farung was probably intimidated by you. Did you drink him under the table? If a woman did that to me, I’d run a mile. No man likes to be outclassed in at least one activity we are supposed to be experts at. I like to think I know how to put away a few beers on a night out. But if I came across a woman who out-drank me I reckon I’d be more than a bit put out. Would I also feel a bit in awe of her? More than likely.

Then if she told me to piss off and leave her alone I would be thinking WTF?

I’d go off to lick my wounds, but I would also be wondering what the hell hit me. And that is a real turn on for any man. So, like Mr Pissed Off, I would probably want to test the waters again to see if I could actually meet you again and then handle such a strong, yet attractive woman. I don’t know what you look like, but I am talking about attractive as in a woman who could match my strength and intellect, not to mention my drinking ability.

How to go about it?

Send her an SMS and see if she responds. You did respond, and eventually you even got him to meet up with you again. But what happened then? Did you nail him once more with your strength and intellect so that he ended up like a deer in the headlights? But nothing else happened! Why?

I reckon Mr PO is fascinated by you, but lacks the confidence to meet you on equal terms. The man goes around talking about you to his friends. He’s obviously hot for you. He even found you interesting to talk to because you were able to meet him on the same intellectual plane.

But could this also be the problem?

Are you so confident and self-contained that you are not allowing Mr PO any room to feel like he is in charge?

I don’t know you, so I have to guess here. I am hoping that these scenarios I am posing, and the questions I am asking will help you figure out what to do next.

Frankly, I get the feeling that you like him a lot more than you are letting on. You slept with him after all.

But he lives in Thailand. There are heaps of women out there less intimidating than you seem to be. But dammit, he can’t get you out of his mind either. So he’s put you on the hook until after Songkran. I reckon he is going off with another Thai girl, less intimidating, probably more accommodating. He won’t have to worry about matching wits with an intellectual equal. He’ll probably take someone he knows will be relaxed and up for a lot of fun. They’ll be out there throwing water on each other, maybe getting blind drunk, and just relaxing

Then when he comes back he’ll call you again. You are an attractive proposition and if I were in his boots I would be thinking you could be good marriage material. Or at least good for a long term relationship. So let’s hope he will call you.

What are you going to do then?

Before you can answer that I think you need to figure out what you want from a relationship with him. Are you interested in getting serious with a view to marriage somewhere down the line?

Or are you just in it for some intellectual stimulation and a good lay?

No matter what you want, it would help if you are honest with him when you meet next time. Maybe you need to sit down with him and discuss your feelings for him. At least let him know what you feel and what you want. Then you can go from there.

That’s how I see things Melo. Maybe I have it wrong, but I hope these questions and suggestions will at least give you a starting point to consider your next move.

Sincerely,

Uncle Brokenheart