Are You A Wanker?

Men in Australia are beset by very different questions about their sexuality than you lucky blokes in Thailand. Instead of wondering which bar to visit, or how many girls to take home for the night, many men here are only able to contemplate their sexless marriages. Instead of deciding whether to stray from their marriages, Aussie men are forced to discuss how to wake up the sex urge in their wives instead.

The responses from women to these discussions are very frightening. Some ask why the man cannot just masturbate whenever he has the urge. Others ask why the woman has to make concessions to their men. These men are obviously ‘oversexed’, according to these soul-destroying women. Still others say that sex has become irrelevant to them so why should they be forced to keep on satisfying their man? The gulf between the sexes here is obviously wide and deep.

One bloke said that his relationship with his wife was excellent, but he had to wonder how the marriage would survive if his wife turned off the sex tap one day. So the question crops up, even when there should be no need for it. Unfortunately, not many men find a partner who loves and wants sex as much as they do.

The sad fact is that women quickly lose their sex drive after they get married, often within the first three or four years.

So what can a man do? Should he resort to wanking instead? Or should he consider playing up on his mate? What other choices does he have?

As one wag quipped, "masturbation is an equal opportunity sport." But let’s face it, self-gratification is hardly satisfactory...unless you are a narcissusist...or too old to get a woman any more.

Not all men find traveling to Thailand or the Philippines for easy sex attractive. Many men crave the intimacy of a close union based on mutual need and respect that they can only get in a rewarding partnership. Unfortunately, it seems this Holy Grail is extremely rare. Aussie men finding that their wives have a very low libido see very few options here.

Then there are the men who go to Thailand to find a Thai wife in a bar. Starry eyed, they think they will find enduring love and affection. Unfortunately, they invariably end up getting the short end of the stick as the girl sees the opportunities available here. She flees the scene and the poor bloke is left holding the baby. Then he is faced with even more problems than wondering where he is going to find a damn good root again.

It’s no wonder that many marriages don’t last long these days. Why would a man want to stay with a woman who is not interested in sex any more?

Of course, there are always two sides to the story. Has the man made enough of an effort to show his missus that she is still sexually attractive? When he sneaks his hand across her bows under the sheets and she rejects him what does he do? Does he shrug, give up and lie there awake nursing evil fantasies at his woman? Or does he realize he is going to have to work a bit harder? Not many women go for the old Wham, Bam, Thank you Ma’am. If you aren’t getting any, fella, maybe you need to examine your approach.

Even when she says she has a headache, or she’s too tired, very often the right kind of coaxing can bring positive results.

The recent lament from Maggie was interesting, but not as interesting as the many responses to it. Apart from the moralizing Postie, the other responses were almost unanimous in thinking that Maggie’s husband probably left because she had stopped putting out enough to keep him satisfied.

The question is, did he try hard enough to save his marriage before they came here? Or was he entranced by the easy availability of the Thai bar girl and decided Maggie wasn’t worth the effort? We’ll probably never know. I doubt he is going to come to this site and try to defend himself. Would you?

The fact is, Thailand merely gobbled up yet another marriage. It happens all the time. The only thing different now is that Maggie wrote to give us the other viewpoint. Unfortunately, this is very rare. It might be very helpful if more women came here to give their opinions.

The one thing I found lacking in Maggie’s story was a willingness to examine her situation dispassionately. She wrote a very moving piece about how devastated she was. She asked why her once-loving husband would throw away all those years of marriage. But not once did she offer any insight into why she thought it had happened <EXCELLENT point - Stick>

But this is not really about Maggie. The big question is, what can these poor desperate men in Australia do about their own situation when faced with a sexless marriage?

I have found myself keeping very quiet when faced with this discussion. I don’t want to advise them to grow some balls and get on a plane for Thailand. I don’t want to be responsible for helping them break up their marriages simply so that they can find some satisfying sex. So, what would you do? Would you, too, shut up? Or would you offer them a little hope for some happiness.

We all know that playing with Thai bar girls can be a two-edged sword. They can be a lot of fun, but if you start taking them seriously you are in for a very rough ride. I’m no marriage counselor. But maybe some Stickman readers have a better insight into this problem than I do.

Food for thought: If the global crisis continues, by the end of this year only two banks will be left operational – the Blood Bank and the Sperm Bank. When these two banks merge it will be run by Bloody Wankers...