Batam
By KK



Previously I wrote about ‘The Singapore Option’, a submission aimed at prospective expats looking to move to the Lion City. I did not delve very much into the local dating / nightlife scene for lack of experience. I did mention briefly that it is possible to take a short ferry ride to the Isle of Pulau Batam in Indonesia for those looking to replicate their Thailand experiences. Now, I must note at this point that I do not generally condone prostitution as such, in fact I strongly dislike the whole institution and find it rather unfair given that so many perfectly fine specimens of the female sex are deemed completely undateable and unmarriageable by entering this profession, worsening the general shortage of available young, attractive females in our world. I’d much rather that they dated me, instead of selling their bodies and thus rendering themselves useless from my admittedly greedy bastard point of view. Well, we are all greedy bastards, aren’t we? Particularly if we belong to that half of the human race that God has bestowed with an out hanging reproductive device that tends to follow its own instincts rather than the supposed master-brain’s instructions. Anybody who has been to a no-happy-ending oil massage will know what I mean. Isn’t it rather embarrassing when an unattractive 56-year old Chiang Mai masseuse manages to keep your thing fully erect for the duration of an hour. Our brains know that we should not be excited. But our willy thinks otherwise. Also, as Stick has pointed out several times, most men really are just looking for one woman to settle down with, despite all their protestations to the opposite. We all need to rest and settle down after a while, and constant pussy-hunting is a rather empty and ultimately unsatisfying experience. Most men really just yearn for that one woman they can trust and come home too, even if they do stray from time to time.

My point is, the reason prostitution is so rampant these days is often due to the fact that many men cannot find suitable partners. For evidence, witness the catastrophic situation unfolding in rural China, where there are 200 million more young men than women due to selective abortion emanating from the misguided one-child policy. This leads to a vicious circle where more and more girls are being kidnapped and forced into marriage or sold as prostitutes, exacerbating the aforementioned desperate situation. The shortage of attractive young lasses in the west is also well documented. This is due to many reasons, including demography, obesity and growing militant feminism. I sometimes wonder if the time shall come when straight men will be summarily interned just for being, well, MEN. Although some American friends assure me that in the Land of the Freak this era is already upon us. Apparently you can already expect to run into a lawsuit or eventually be jailed just for looking suggestively at a woman. I wonder whether such a law shall ever be introduced in Indonesia to curb the excesses shown by local girls when it comes to looking at me VERY suggestively or simply just grabbing my arse and stroking my arm in a club. And no, these girls are not prostitutes either. Which explains why I like Batam so much.

To give you a little background on Batam, it is an island in the Riau archipelago of Indonesia about two dozen miles away from Singapore. A ferry ride from Harbor front Terminal should take you 50 - 60 minutes, depending on your port of arrival. The closest ferry terminal to the capital city of Nagoya (renamed by Japanese occupiers during the war) is Sekupang. The administrative centre of Batam is called Batam Centre, and is a 20-minute taxi ride away from central Nagoya. There is also a beach resort area in the north-east of the island, popular with Singaporeans. There are direct ferries to Singapore from here as well. The place where all the action takes place is called NED (Nagoya Entertainment District), which is not unlike Sukhumvit Road in Bangkok, although on a smaller scale. There is a high number of girlie bars, pubs, dodgy massage parlours and plain brothels in this area. There are also a number of ordinary discos and pubs where you can meet local lasses. Unlike in Singapore and Thailand, there do not appear to be any freelancer prostitutes in these places. All the girls are so called “good girls”, a contradiction in terms I might add... The hippest club in town is located in the Harmoni Hotel, a good mid-range option to stay in as well. It is called the No Name bar. Honestly! Other options include the GG bar in the Nagoya Plaza hotel, the Tavern in the Melia, and Summit at the Planet Hotel. There are numerous budget accommodation options and some pretty swanky hotels. Of course all these places cater mainly to Singaporeans. Naughty bars and gogos include The Jungle, Ice Pub The PP Banana, all located within walking distance of each other. The Thai-style girlfriend experience would not appear to exist in Batam. At least not with prostitutes... It is extremely easy though for an ordinary western man to find a proper girlfriend. I am not particularly good-looking but each time I visit I have countless girls eyeing me up, simply staring, coming up to me to get my phone number, and 99 % of them smiling and smiling and smiling... In fact I find the girls a lot friendlier than in Thailand, and their level of English seems to be a lot better too. They also appear less childish and have a certain feminine charm I would normally associate with Latin women. The infantile nature of Thai and East Asian women is not my cup of tea at all. Judging from my own and my friends’ experiences it would also seem to me that Indonesian girls are generally more honest and dependable than Thais or Filipinas. The most surprising thing about Indonesia is how un-Islamic the place is. Few women and practically no young girls wear headscarves in sharp contrast to Malaysia, for instance. Mini-skirts, low-slung tops, high heels are ubiquitous. Also, Indonesian girls have very prominent curves indeed and you do not feel like you’re having sex with a girl when you bone one. These girls have arses and breasts like a woman should. Granted, most of them do not have as pretty a face as many a Thai woman, but on the whole they compare favourably to their Thai sisters. The availability of such a huge number of gorgeous single girls in Batam is quite amazing. It can all be explained with a combination of favourable demographics (practically everyone is under 25), and the fact that so many young girls from all over Indonesia move to Singapore-influenced Batam in search of outsourced factory jobs that pay better than elsewhere in the country. As an end result, there is an oversupply of young girls on the island, many of whom find it difficult to find any boyfriend at all. Many local guys can in turn juggle 3 - 4 girlfriends at a time, which is made easier by the Muslim custom of polygamy and keeping concubines. No wonder girls are so aggressive and proactive when approaching western guys. Again, these girls are not prostitutes. They are not bargirls either. They are just normal girls who cannot find a boyfriend. Add to this the fact that there are very few western tourists on the island and you can see the novelty factor a western male can count on.

The biggest drawback is that there is really very little to see or do. Yes, you can enjoy a cheap massage, cheap seafood, and reasonably priced accommodation. There are also some nice beach resorts, and there is an aqua park on the island. But the city of Nagoya is run-down and some parts of it can be unsafe at night. Reportedly, there is rampant child-prostitution, although this is not visible at all. However, few people would consider spending their holidays there and it will essentially remain a budget weekend getaway from overcrowded and overregulated Singapore.

For me the incredible friendliness of the locals makes up for most of Batam’s shortcomings. After all, if I want cleanliness, efficient public transport and immaculate safety, I can get it in Singapore. But the orderliness gets on your nerves after a while and you really need to remind yourself sometimes that you are in Southeast Asia by hopping over to experience life in Singapore’s less fortunate neighbours. Again, I would probably not fly all the way from the UK or US just to see Batam, but if you are stuck in Singapore for a while, it is really worth having a look at. After all, Pattaya isn’t exactly the earthen image of Paradise either, and still it manages to attract a huge number of visitors from all over the world. Yes, I know they all visit to see the famous bitches of Thailand. Oops, I meant beaches of course...

I must add though that I have not visited other parts of Indonesia as of yet, and the country would still appear to be uncharted territory to most westerners, with the notable exception of Bali. A Singaporean female friend of mine once jokingly suggested that I should move to Indonesia, convert to Islam, marry four young girls who will treat me like a king and live happily ever after. I wonder whether she was on to something. I have a feeling that if men’s rights and living conditions in the west deteriorate further, many men who cannot stomach turning gay or putting up with the all-pervading and never ending anti-male propaganda and legal bias, particularly in the USA, will do just that. As much as I dislike some aspects of Indonesian culture, the way you are treated as a man simply does not exist in the west any more. I’m sure all of us have stories of all those western girls who are not prepared to cook or do any housework whatsoever, in fact pamper their men in any way at all but expect the man to cook, clean, and spoil them in all possible manners 24 hours a day whilst still expecting the man to be good-looking, rich, successful, witty, entertaining and a selfless stud in bed. All they are prepared to give in exchange is their company and sex when it suits them, but not when it suits you and on their terms, meaning you are expected to work damn hard to please them. Obviously not all western women are like that, and some bright spots in Eastern and Southern Europe can still be found, but the trend towards increasing gender inequality in the personal sphere (admittedly, not in the professional fields) is very worrying indeed. Contrast that to a relationship with an Indonesian girl, which is also unequal but this time mostly to your advantage... By the time you wake up in the morning, breakfast will be ready and she has already cleaned the house. She will take special herbs to make her pussy tight and give you extra pleasure. She will not hesitate to please you at any time of the day and will take genuine joy out of making you happy. She will expect very little in return and will be happy with whatever you give her out of your own good heart (presents, dinner invitations etc...). Should you decide to be faithful to her, she will treat you like an absolute god, adore you for the rest of your life and will constantly remind herself how lucky she is to have you in her life. I am already browsing the property ads in Batam... What are you going to do to save yourself and your manhood?


Stickman's thoughts:

The Batam Tourism Board should be paying you for such a glowing report!

The author cannot be contacted.
 
The author of this website, NOT this article, can be contacted at: stickmanbangkok@gmail.com.