Korea: The Culture of “Me”

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The purpose of this submission is to give an opinion of South Korea, broken down into categories, based on the year I spent in country. This is just one man’s opinion. Your views may differ, and if they do (or even if you agree), I’d be interested in hearing your take either in email or another sub to Stickman’s site, but my opinions remain nonetheless as they are rooted in my own observations. I will discuss the people, culture, economy, women, nightlife, and general outlook, all in my own “Caveman” style.

1. People/Culture. Perhaps 15 or more years ago, Korea was a 3rd world country. This is not the case today. Not only Seoul but many other Korean cities are bursting at the seams with people, traffic, towering buildings, burgeoning industry, and the general hustle and bustle of life in a growing economy. Korea is no longer a cheap place to visit for the westerner, especially Americans, whose currency is collapsing due to our ineptitude in the economic and diplomatic arenas. Plainly put, out problems are self-inflicted.

How would I describe the Korean people? Well, in contrast to Thailand especially, I found the Korean people to be selfish in the extreme, rude, materialistic and class-based, racist toward other peoples (especially westerners), and to possess a general disposition to frown (or to refrain from smiling). On the positive side, they can be quite disciplined and driven if they have a penchant to accomplish something. These observations prevail in the big city, but be advised that I did not spend the vast majority of my time in Seoul, but near an industrial town on the remote southeast coast called Pohang, the site of the 2nd largest steel manufacturing plant in the world: POSCO Steel.

Rude? Allow me to illustrate. On more than one occasion, myself and my colleagues would find that Koreans are in the habit on stepping directly in front of a foreigner in line waiting for a service, whether you are purchasing a ticket, a meal, or other. Hard to believe even when you read it, but it happened to me on more than one occasion and was just unbelievable: the local will literally step right in front of you while you are standing in line waiting to be waited on, most often when you are actually in the process of being waited on. The customer service agent will then turn their attention to the local and provide service to that individual every time instead of asking the individual to wait their turn in line. On one occasion where this happened, the woman also allowed her child to literally walk in front of me and actually start walking all over the tops of my shoes as if he were playing hopscotch or something, refusing to stop the brat in any way. It took a great deal of self-control to prevent myself from tossing the brat 50 feet into a wall, splattering his brains and thereby doing the world some good by thinning the herd.

Another illustration. Once while crossing the street in dead-stopped traffic in Seoul, I attempted to walk in between 2 buses. The bus driver, seeing that I intended to walk in front of his bus to get to the other side of the street literally crept forward to the bus in front of him in order to prevent me from walking in front of his bus and getting to the other side of the road. It was done purely for spite. Completely inexplicable, but this is what he did. I walked right up to the window of his bus, which again was easy to do because he was at a deap stop in Seoul gridlock, and uttered a few curses in English at him. I doubt if he understood the words, but he certainly understood the intent. You see, it is a rare Korean indeed who speaks the English language. This factor makes it difficult to live a normal life across the country. The people speak the Korean language to you as if they are absolutely certain that you know it fluently. This factor alone makes Korea a non-user-friendly destination for any who do not have at least some command of the language.

The people and culture of Korea concentrate not on the person or personality, but on titles and positions. In other words, it does not really matter what type of person you are at heart....good, bad, or indifferent ethically and/or morally; what matters is the position you hold. In business as well as in casual relations, you will be treated according to your position, meaning mainly the job you hold. While in Korea, it so happened that my position was not only conspicuous, but was one of distinction and a bit of power. Therefore, I was generally treated with more courtesy and deference than many of my fellows. Believe me when I tell you that this did absolutely nothing for the feeding of my self-esteem. It was artificial and transparent.

Allow me to illustrate with an example. Myself and my colleagues utilized a certain taxi driver, nicknamed Tiger Woods, to take us around because he spoke (poor) English. One evening, I phoned Tiger to come and pick me up and take me to my destination. Unbeknownst to me at the time, one of my assistants (subordinate) had already called him, so he was already on his way to my location. What do you think this ass-sucker did? He decided to provide transportation to me and call another cab for my assistant (switching to the “top dog”). I only found out about this later; otherwise I would have called myself another cab.

Are you still in possession of the contents of your gorge? Read on, and have your barf bag at the ready.

Koreans are ceremonial creatures. Not that their culture is anything special: it is not. There is nothing in the Korean culture I have seen that distinguishes it from others, makes it more elaborate, special, or even unique in any way. It just seems like a whole lot of fuss and to-do about nothing except to demonstrate the pride of the country folk who feel a compulsion to at least stand for something. Anyway, during meetings, conferences, gatherings, briefings, etc., while I was in the company of Korean locals and had colleagues with me, it was I who would receive the preponderance of the attention due to my position. In fact, on more than one occasion where the whole purpose was to present a fellow colleagues with an award, it was still me who got most of the attention. It must be admitted that the attention seemed genuine on the surface and if you were not paying attention, you could be forgiven for believing it was real. However, I duly noted the way my assistants were regarded. While their treatment was certainly not rude, it was decidedly less than that to which I was regularly accorded. To some extent this is to be expected, but it did seem excessive.

It is a cultural reality in Korea that one gives gifts with an idea of receiving a direct return for the gift given. Now, you may say that we all expect something in return for what we give, and I do subscribe to this notion. But in Korea, this ritual, which can be harmless enough and even beneficial, is taken to extremes. I was given gifts from many of the locals, especially those who believed I could provide them with a job, as I did indeed have some capability to provide this for them, or at least a recommendation which would hold some weight. Yes, it can be accurately stated that they try to outright buy you.

Korea is a male-dominated society. Those households who attend more strictly to the culture actually have the women sitting at a different table than the men during a meal, and the female table is always in a lower position than that of the males so that the females are looking up to the men and the men down at the females. Physical brutality (male on female) is commonplace and the law does nothing about it. Strangely enough, there is a law on the books that females are forbidden from smoking in public. Although this may not be strictly enforced anymore, I have never seen a woman smoke in public just the same.

Korea is the only country I have ever been to where I did not regularly engage in going out to enjoy the native cuisine. The only restaurants I would go to were western restaurants, which are difficult to find except in Seoul, and Japanese restaurants. Koreans are not a health-conscious people (not that my fellow Americans can take home the gold medal for this either). Many of their foods are high in fat content and/or are fried, especially the meats. The meat is terrible, and not fit for human consumption in my opinion. I would be hesitant to feed the meats they eat regularly to a dog, they are so replete with visible fat. They do have a lot of veggies, fruits, rice, and fish in their diets, which is good, but all too often the fish and rice is fried, which immediately makes it a very unhealthy dish. Kimchi, which is fermented cabbage, is a staple, and is highly spiced. Their taste for this delicacy is a contributor to their general ability to prevent obesity (especially to the degree seen in the U.S.) across all spectra of the population, as cabbage has very few calories; but it is also a factor contributing to the terribly bad breath they have. Add this all to the fact that the vast majority of males smoke, and probably almost as many of them drink excessively, and you have the basis of an unhealthy culture. Drinking to excess is actually a part of their culture. Women do these things a little less than the males, but still, it is prevalent. The Koreans then spend a lot of time and money on vitamin mixtures, tinctures, strange and useless concoctions and potions, and other crap in an unbalanced effort to counteract the ill effects of having imbibed themselves with so much garbage. The vitamins and other things they take are not only grossly overpriced (they are all “bells and whistles”), but have no effect on their health; however, the authorities do not regulate the outlandish statements made by the producers of these “health” products in the same manner as the Food and Drug Administration does in the U.S. Hence, there is widespread belief that, for instance, many types of mushroom can actually cure cancer. Complete fallacy.

2. Economy. The Korean economy is rocking. The country’s production capacity continues to grow year after year, their currency has soared in the past decade, and their exports consistently grow. Also, the fact that they shelter their industries and the U.S., which is the number one country to which they export, does NOT, increases their advantage of being able to export their goods and services while American industries are at a distinct disadvantage in trying to export goods and services to Korea. Their method is to tax the end user, not the importer. That means that a car which would normally cost U.S. $20,000 in Korea will wind up costing the buyer $40,000 after he pays the import fee (it literally does become double the price). A bottle of booze that would cost $30 winds up costing $60. This makes it extremely difficult for those countries attempting to export their goods and services into Korea to be competitive. However, it is working wonders for their industrial advancement. If Americans and others are stupid enough to allow this BS and not retaliate in kind, then although I may be angry at Korean policy and also retch at the idiocy of my country’s lack of diplomatic/economic balls, I nonetheless applaud Korea for its choice to put its own interests ahead of others as long as others are dumb enough to permit it. If nothing else, it is true to form for everything else I experienced in the country. They may be selfish, but they are not stupid by any stretch of the imagination.

The Korean auto and electronics industries have for years now been chipping away at the share of other major global producers/exporters of these high-ticket items. Indications are that this phenomenon will continue for at least another decade and probably more. Therefore I would consider it wise to invest in the Korean economy and/or particular Korean companies in one way or another. Land/real estate is also hugely appreciating in value year after year. Whether it be simply buying a mutual fund (like Matthews Korea; code MAKOX), or investing directly and opening a business, there is money to be made if you conduct prudent research, keep abreast of current events, and establish proper contacts.

The transportation systems in the country, to include air, rail, and bus, and even taxi are top notch across the peninsula and all reasonably priced. Give a taxi driver, or indeed any other service-oriented worker, a tip, and he’ll be so happy he might try to kiss you. I can remember those occasions where I ordered room service food from my hotel perch in Seoul and tipped the delivery guy (those guys work like slaves). At first they might not even understand why you are handing them the money and will try to return it, but eventually they get the idea. Even if it is a couple dollars, they will smile and be very thankful, as tipping is extremely rare. I feel sorry for those delivery guys. I’ve seen them riding round on their mopeds with one hand on the handlebars of the bike and the other one clutching a box full of food, which of course makes for extremely hazardous riding. Oh, by the way, motorcycle and moped riders will regularly ride on the sidewalk to avoid traffic, so pedestrians beware.

Wanna’ hear a little secret? A strange factoid exists in that you can tell how well a country is performing in the economic arena best.....at night. How? Well, when orbiting the Earth, if you look down on that country from orbit, you will see its cities glowing brightly from all the development (the lights). The more glows you see and the brighter they are, the better in general their economy can be expected to be. Well, in contrast to their northern neighbor (North Korea) who is stuck in the stone ages with nary a light to be seen, the country of South Korea is so well lighted it looks like a Christmas tree. And oh by the way, the brightest city on the globe at night from orbit is.......Las Vegas. Sin City, baby.

3. Women. If the women are part of the people and culture itself, how can they be any different? Well, they’re not, at least not attitudinally. During the initial part of my time in Korea, I did not spend much time in Seoul. Down south and in many of the off-the-beaten track places, the women are actually pretty damn butt-ugly. However, my opinion on this gross generality took a 180 as I began to acquaint myself with Seoul. What a vibrant city, pulsing and flowing with activity! Population is a huge 16 million. Specifically, I developed a comfort level with a particular district in Seoul called Gangnam. At the time and even in retrospect, I can make the unqualified statement that the women are physically more breathtaking, stunning, and downright irresistibly gorgeous than in any city of any country I have ever visited, with the possible exception of Bangkok. My sex drive may not be what it was in my teens and twenties, but there were numerous times when I was so awe-struck at not only the number of stunning beauties occasioning my field of vision but the striking nature of their overwhelming and gripping beauty that I just stood there, transfixed at the wondrous sights, like a kid in a candy store, unable or unwilling to move. It was like a herd of caribou or wildebeest stampeding by, there are just so many of them......and they are just so damn gorgeous, you just become dumbfounded and lose your bearings. Their slim, fit, and thin little bodies make hormones rage, beautiful skin and hair abound, cute little button nose, while those captivating and unique eyes make a guy dream about the naughty possibilities that could lurk behind closed doors if....if....if only. Seoul and the Big Mango may be said to be a toss-up, depending on your personal tastes. However, we are speaking of only the physical appearance of the women.

This describes the physical attributes of the Korean women. The flip side of this coin is that these women will not give the foreigner the time of day if it would save your life. They pay no more attention to you than if you were a blade of grass on a golf course. I know my capabilities and limitations well and do not expect undue attention to be delivered to me; that said, by and large the only Korean women who paid me any attention were those who may have been out for a meal ticket, or maybe the odd exception (some people may not notice this and believe that the attention is genuine, but my eyes have, in my day, become very discerning and capable of detecting ulterior motive). And none of these odd exceptions, mind you, were in the category of the breathtaking or the stunning. What a shame. Now, I have had a couple Korean girlfriends in the past, and one particular woman stands out. She took care of me really well, and at times I even think that perhaps I should have made a commitment to her (but at the time my date plate was overflowing). I met her in Hawaii about 13 years ago (I’m 43 now), as she had relocated to the U.S. from Seoul. Therefore, from this as well as other observations, if you are fortunate enough to lasso yourself a Korean woman who is interested in you for reasons other than your wallet, you could be in luck. But good luck finding one, especially in country. You know how it’s easier to get a Thai woman in Thailand than it is to get one who is already in the U.S. (or other countries)? Well, for Korean women it is the opposite. She’s more likely to pay you some attention if she is out of Korea and already in your backyard; those women hold less prejudice against non-Koreans.

This is, of course, in great contrast to the lovelies in Bangkok, who will kindly beam you a glowing smile with little provocation. After a year in Korea, this factor asserts itself in my mind as an element of no little importance. It’s amazing how the simple little pleasures and niceties we take for granted in the grand & glorious Land of Smiles, like the kind smile of a young, nubile Thai lass, can become the very things we long for so much when exposed to an austere place where even a smile is hard to come by.

4. Nightlife. My exposure to the Korean nightlife was limited. Since I am not interested in solicitation of prostitutes, do not smoke or drink, and could expect only to be ignored by the local Korean populace in any event, I didn’t spend a heck of a lot of time in the nightlife other than just enjoying the eye candy. (While in Korea, I concentrated solely on my job [and exercise routine] to the exclusion of almost all else). I can say that prostitution exists in certain quarters for sure, but is not nearly as prevalent as it is in Thailand. The vast majority of the prostitution is geared to the local populace. There are places known to the locals as “scotch houses” where the customer pays a fee at the door and has the privilege of imbibing himself in as much liquor and female sexual company as he can handle. I was informed that this luxury is extremely expensive and can be as much as $1000 a night. On a few occasions, I was even offered to accompany a person or persons to exploit one of these establishments, all expenses paid, but politely declined. In the interests of full disclosure, I actually accepted, with the condition that I would not partake of the drink or paid-for-sex and just tag along with the other guys for the social aspect, but my host, upon hearing this, declined to take me along, saying that my behavior would be out of place in that environment. I agree with him. The night clubs are not typically western style for the most part, although there are exceptions. What I can tell you is that if you are accustomed to Thailand, Korea will be a waste of your time. The worst part of it all is that the locals will, once again, pay you no mind whatsoever and do not even speak your language. The women who pay you attention will be the seedier types, which I guess could be a good thing if you are just out for a nasty (and possibly diseased) piece of ass, but if you are looking for a real decent woman, the implications are obvious. Many of the places are simply unavailable and/or unadvertised to the westerner.

Being a person who enjoys going to the movies, I was shit-out-o’-luck in this area, because I especially relish movie popcorn with butter and salt. In fact, for me, it is more important than the actual movie (I have actually selected which movie to go to based on the quality of the popcorn in that particular theater). It is one of the few areas where I let my hair down with my regular strict diet and just “go for it”, and become as a child. In Korea, there is no butter or salt available for the popcorn, and sometimes they even add sugar to it. Theater prices are comparable to the U.S. American films will show in the English language with Korean transcript for the locals. And get this: seating is pre-arranged! That’s right. When you buy a movie ticket, the seat number is listed on your ticket and that is where you must sit, unless the movie theater is relatively empty. You do have some say in picking the seat when you purchase your ticket, but if you do not arrive early, choice seating may be unavailable. With any luck, at least hopefully you won’t be seated next to one of the males with breath so bad and thick you can cut it as it exits his nasty pie-hole. <This system of allocated seating is exactly the same as in Thailand - Stick>

5. General Outlook. If you are considering Korea for a vacation destination, I would change my plans. The country has nothing special to offer. There are no huge mountains, the weather is dismal and rainy much of the time, the winters are cold, the people are inhospitable, motorcycle riding on highways is prohibited (!), and the society in general is just not geared to foreigners. As stated above, the people, culture, language (no English speakers), and all else is not what you would call “user-friendly” to the foreign visitor, especially the westerner. The western expats I met there were, by and large, weirdoes without what I would call a life. I wondered why the heck they were there, to be honest. They were mostly married to a Korean wife who refused to leave her native land. But you’d probably need a loaded gun to get me to agree to return to that place. Right now, after having just departed the country, I feel as if I’ve been set free from a year-long prison term. The social aspect of my life in the past year has really taken a hit.

Keep in mind that you are reading this outlook from a guy who volunteered for the assignment in Korea, and from a man who has a preference/predilection for all things Asian. But Korea is a huge exception from other places in Asia to which I have visited or even heard about.

There are, of course, exceptions to the rule everywhere you go (“All generalizations stink, including this one.”) It so happened that I befriended a man of about 58 named Mr Kim. He was a stand up guy from the moment I arrived until the day I departed and was ready to help me out in any way whatsoever with absolutely no expectation of return favors; in fact, he would often be embarrassed on those occasions where I would return from Seoul with a special box of chocolates or pastry for he and his family to enjoy. He was one of the most giving, kind, caring, virtuous, and just downright GOOD people I have ever encountered in my worldwide travels. Our relationship was of a professional nature, but as the year went on, we became closer and could even be termed friends. While hesitant and cautious at first, I learned to trust him through his actions and reliability. He was a man of his word. He began also to confide in me, to include his opinions on a wide range of matters. I can still remember the rant he went through on one particular evening, when the culture of his own country bore the butt of his criticism and even rage. He labeled his Korean kinfolk as selfish and ego-centric, and called the entire culture, which had eroded from what it was in the past, as the “CULTURE OF ME”, meaning that everyone is out for Number One. ME, ME, ME, ME, ME. I sat riveted to his diatribe and quietly agreed. You think drivers in Thailand are bad? Well, I agree that they are. However, I can say that Korean drivers do indeed drive with less regard for others on the roadways and will cut you off in a heartbeat, drive on the pavement, refuse to let you in if you are trying to get over (in fact, they will act as if they don’t even see you)...etc. Sure, many of these phenomena exist in other countries. The difference is the DEGREE to which I observed this in Korea. Their selfishness shows through in all facets of the peoples’ action, but as always, it’s all the little things that collectively leave you with your impression. The devil is in the details.

I find myself really looking forward to my upcoming Thailand vacation, which will be from March 3-19, and will be my first visit since summer ’05. This cowboy is ready to spread his wings and let loose. Yeah, I think I’m going to make it a point this time to get a massage every day I’m in Thailand, maybe a good 2 or even 3 hours worth. Ahhhhh, the feeling of the nimble hands of a young, attractive, smiling Thai masseuse. Just what the doctor ordered after a year in Asian Hell. Giddayup, pardner. Yee-haaaa!

My closest work colleague, someone who opinions I have much respect for, spent a few years in South Korea so I have heard much about the place - and what you say really does verify what he said. A couple of the positives that you did not touch upon were the Koreans appreciation of the importance of a good education. Korean students are said to be much more harder working than Thai students, and the education sector is supposed to be far superior.