The Feminist Ideal in Thailand

Thailand Hotel Guide

• Prima Villa Pattaya
• Regent Marina Hotel Pattaya
• Asia Pattaya Hotel
• Beverly Plaza Pattaya Hotel

I’m a child of the Flower Generation. That doesn’t mean I used to go around wearing flowers in my hair, well not much of the time. But we believed that we could create a better world than the one our parents had given us. We were called all sorts of names: Baby Boomers, Hippies, and a lot of much worse names. Among the things we thought we could change was the ‘slavery’ of women.

Back in the 1950’s the ideal was for a woman to get married, have kids and become a good wife and mother. She was not allowed to have any ideas of her own. Instead, she was expected to keep a spotless house, look after the kids, and cater to her husband’s every whim. She did what her husband told her, submitted to his tyranny, and shut up. She was, in effect, a household slave.

By the time the 1960’s rolled around many women were getting burned out by this regime. Along came the ‘little yellow pill’ the Rolling Stones sang about. Women were getting zonked out all day just to cope with their humdrum little lives. That’s when many of them started taking an interest in the Feminist Movement.

The feminist movement is not a modern invention. As far back as the early 19th century women tried to change how men treated them. Women like Susan B. Anthony, Clementina Black, Elizabeth Blackwell, and Mary Ann Shad Cary the first American black woman to graduate from Howard University Law School and first Black woman to vote in a federal election, were the real pioneers.

Then in the late 1960’s along came Germaine Greer, an Australian feminist who advocated women burn their bras to free themselves. So then we men had lots of floppy boobs to look at. That was nice. Unfortunately, this just made men think the feminists were a bunch of daft dames who weren’t worth taking seriously.

On the other side of the coin, Bella Abzug, a civil rights and labor attorney elected to Congress from New York City, and even Madelaine Albright the first female Secretary of State, made their mark in the US government and struck telling blows for the feminist movement. They were the vanguard of a new wave of women who were moving into what had been male-only domains before.

But to us common men, feminism was a totally new concept we had to come to terms with. Unfortunately, we were swayed by our wives and girlfriends who thought feminism meant a reversal in the traditional roles. Suddenly, we had women trying to wear the trousers and dictate how things should work. The teething pains were many and difficult.

The result was a generation of male wimps who were too scared to argue with their women. Instead, they bowed down to all the feminist demands. We were expected to become much more ‘touchy feely’, more in touch with our ‘feminine side’, and to do what our women expected.

Not all of us thought this was a good idea, especially as we saw what was happening to some of our male brethren. The sight of a man crying at a chick-movie was just sickening. When I met a woman and she started trying to tell me what to do she soon got a shock. I would explain to her that there were some things I would do and some I would not. In other words, I marked the line that she was not allowed to cross. Some of them were horrified and the relationship ended right there and then. Good riddance!

Overall, though, I found that showing them who was boss paid off big. I gained their respect. Let’s face it, women need to be pulled into line sometimes. They get emotional and manipulating at times, especially around that time of the month. That’s when men need to be especially vigilant and not take any shit from them.

Now don’t get me wrong. I have no trouble with caring what my women need, both in and out of the sack. I am quite happy to empathize with their feelings. But I drew the line at kow-towing to their every whim, especially if they start using their ‘feminine wiles’ to try and make me do what they want. For example, if my wife starts getting bitchy near that time of the month I head out the door for a couple of days on a business trip. Even if I don’t have any clients to go and visit, I go somewhere and conduct research for my business. <Pattaya is always a good place business! - Stick> By the time I get home again she has got over it and things are back on an even keel again. I get some work done, she appreciates the time alone, so we both win.

Selfish? No, I don’t think so. I think it has preserved our marriage and made it much stronger. She respects me and knows she has to behave herself or I leave. It also creates an element of insecurity, not knowing if I will just keep going one day. She tries extra hard to make nice-nice when I get back.

THE FEMINAZIS

A few years ago there was a story in the Bangkok Post about a group of feminists who had arrived in Thailand determined to ‘save’ the poor girls working in the sex industry. They descended on Patpong and started trying to preach to the girls there. A few weeks later there was another story in the Post about the results of their efforts. One of their spokesmen announced that they were changing their focus. They had come to realize that the girls weren’t the victims. The men were! I had to laugh at that. It didn’t take them too long to realize the reality of the situation, did it?

Now, before you start reaching for your pen to point out my word usage in the paragraph above let me tell you that I refuse to spout that politically correct rubbish the feminists demand. I will not use spokesperson, or even worse spokeswoman. The fact is, spokesman is the original and legitimate word to use, no matter what gender the speaker.

When men first come here they are victims of the Western feminazis. They are amazed at the totally different interaction between men and women in Thailand. Of course, this is what unhinges so many of us too. I can’t deny it. I went through it just like you, so don’t feel too bad. The truth is, when we get here we are like kids in a sweet shop. So many to choose from and so easy!

But when you have lived here a while you look around and realize that there is a heck of a lot more to Thailand than meets the eye. Take our reaction to the Thai men. So many of them seem like kids, even when they are in their 30’s and 40’s. Why is this?

Looks are deceiving. They are not assertive like us. They seem to be very unassuming and ineffective. On the surface this is true. If you go out for a night on the town with them they will get drunk and make inane and silly comments. They really let their hair down. You have to be careful though. They will try and give you girls, or get you into situations you would never even consider back home. You have to walk a fine line between keeping them happy, not insulting them, and maintaining your own dignity. They can be very childlike one minute and then as hard-nosed as any western businessman the next, but in a totally different way.

If you don’t believe me, try doing business with a Thai man. You will soon find that he is very polite, malleable and eager to please while you talk to him. However, as soon as you walk away, everything you have agreed may unravel if it doesn’t suit him. He will then start asking you to make changes until he gets the deal he wants. No matter how hard you try to steer things back to your original agreement, nothing will happen if you don’t start compromising. If you do not negotiate very carefully you will walk away with little or nothing of your original deal in hand. The Thai male can be a lot tougher than you imagined when he wants something.

They get this from their women. The truth is, Thai women exert a very strong influence on society. There is no need for a Thai feminist movement. They have run things behind the scenes for centuries. They coddle their sons well beyond the time western mums do. This is why Thai men seem so ‘weak’ to us. They are used to being looked after by their women. They don’t have to worry about equality. Both sexes in Thailand know what they are and don’t try to be what they are not....well, with the exception of the katoeys, but that is another story, isn’t it?

Handling Thai bargirls is an art and if you are a newcomer you are going to fall into all the traps these girls can spring. Just because they look sweet and appealing and they are good in bed, don’t be fooled. They are tough and ruthlessly devoted to prying as much money out of your wallet as possible. They have centuries of practice manipulating men behind them. They will lie, cry, get angry, and accuse you of wrongdoing when you know full well she is the one at fault. You could catch her in bed with another man and she will deny it without wavering. She will turn it completely around and accuse you instead of some imagined wrongdoing. She will get you so confused that you won’t know where you stand.

If you think western women wear the pants, then Thai women wear full suits of body armor. The only way you can win and have a good time without getting taken to the cleaners is to realize this and be prepared to make the rules. If she threatens to go find a richer man, shrug and tell her to go. Turn around and walk away. I guarantee she will come running right back to you when she sees you are serious. If she doesn’t, what have you lost?

Stop thinking she is the only girl for you. Bullshit! There are millions of them waiting for you. All you have to do is make the choice. Are you going to be the victim the feminazis have turned you into? Or are you going to take back your manhood and enjoy the fruits Thailand has to offer? The choice is yours.

Another excellent submission from Mr. Holt. Some real pearls of wisdom here, and the main point you make I agree with 100%.