Stickman's guide to Bangkok

Reader's submission

A Couple's Bangkok Experience

By Wander Woman


I stumbled upon this website while doing a search on Bangkok. It was my first trip ever to Thailand, and so was hubby’s. We were really excited as we heard so much about the city from friends and colleagues. We have been married for 7 years, have kids, Southeast Asians and in our early 30s. So here’s me writing to share our Bangkok experiences (as a couple) with other first-timers; maybe, just maybe, you can learn something from our trip. Here is a summary:

Day 1
- Bangkok Tour: paid 6,800 baht for 2 persons for the Riverboat Cruise night tour, Floating Market+Cobra show half-day tour and Ayutthaya full day tour with a local operator; which we thought was really cheap.
- MBK shopping center: bought a prepaid SIM card for 350 baht which includes a 50 baht credit and an international direct dialing (IDD) card for 300 baht to call the kids back home. Only one shop sells IDD cards on the same floor though.
- Massage: recommended by the same tour agent who sold us the Bangkok Tour. He got us a tuktuk to take us to the massage parlor and back to the hotel for 50 baht only. Parlor looked old and deserted. A 2-hour Aromatic oil massage at 1,600 baht per person. Signs everywhere saying “No Prostitution”. My masseuse was a middle-aged woman while hubby’s was a “katoey” who even tried to touch his balls with his pinky! Lol Hubby was not happy. Tipped them 100 baht each.

Day 2
-Pratunam: Sunday market. Bought 6 Thailand/Bangkok t-shirts for souvenirs at 70 baht each. Diesel Jeans at 190 baht (fixed price).
- Riverboat Cruise: was quite disappointed that most lights on buildings and temples were off, when the purpose of the cruise was to take pictures of the sights at night along the Chaophraya River. Tour agent forgot to ask us what kind of dinner we would like on the boat and ordered us the Thai Menu instead of the Seafood Menu. Thai Menu consisted of spicy food which hubby could not eat due to digestion problem.
- Patpong: while buying a few stuff at the night market, we were approached by a guy asking us to follow him to a “nice” gogo club. He said “no cover charge and you can leave if you no like show”. Hubby said we should take a look but I was very skeptical after remembering what we read from one of the entries on this website. We went with the guy anyways. It was on the 2nd floor and the place is called “Wild Cat” or something like that. Hubby asked how much for a beer and a coke, and he said 100 baht each. There were about 9 naked girls on the stage, and 1 naked “katoey” who had a complete sex change (he/she was pretty, by the way). We sat down, ordered our drinks and watched in amazement when the star of the stage stuck a full bottle of coke in her p*ssy while lying down, emptied the bottle, stood up and transferred the content to another empty coke bottle! Waitress then came with our orders and asked us to pay. Hubby gave her 200 baht, and she said “no, 600 baht”. What the heck?? Then she showed us a laminated piece of paper saying “First drink 300 baht with show”. The guy could have just told us upfront and we would still have stayed. We were mad, of course, along with the feeling of being ripped off. During the break, 6 girls, including the “coke star” and another “katoey” (a very unpretty one) came to our table. One girl started touching and massaging my arm, while another girl and the “katoey” were massaging hubby. They all asked for “lady drink”. The “coke star” brought her 2 coke bottles along and asked for tips. We were scared and kept shaking our heads and saying “What? What?”, pretending we did not understand. They kept pestering us for lady’s drinks so we decided to leave after less than 15 minutes in the bar.
- Massage: we got another oil massage nearby Patpong market. Nice, decent and clean center. 750 baht, Baby Oil massage for 1.5 hours per person. Masseuses were talking and giggling most of the time. Tipped them 50 baht each.

Day 3
We missed the kids and wanted to go home!
- Floating Market: picked up at the hotel at 7.30am by tour guide. Rode on a Toyota van with 8 other tourists. First stop, coconut candy factory. Second stop, jetty to go to the market by speedboat. Once at the market, rode on a small boat with 6 other tourists. 100 baht each person. Hubby bought 2 sepaktakraw balls for 240 baht. Opening price was 950 baht each. He was proud of his bargaining skills.
- Cobra show: third stop. Entrance fee, 200 baht each. Very interesting. One guy with a big snake on his shoulders let tourists take a picture with his pet for 50 baht. Last stop, handicraft center. They sell sepaktakraw balls at 80 baht each after discount. Hubby was upset! Lol
- Seafood lunch at Rivercity Mall: 1,800 baht for a seafood basket for 2 persons consisting of lobster, tiger prawns, river crabs and mussels. Delicious!
- Slim/Flix Club at RCA: nice place, good R&B and Hiphop music. Except there was no dance floor. We danced at our table. Everyone else was sitting and drinking. Hubby noticed a pretty girl was looking at him only to find out later she was a pretty “katoey”! lol Hubby had 4 long island tea and I had 4 malibu orange. We tipped our waiter 200 baht for waiting on us from 9pm to 1am.

Day 4
- Hubby felt sick from drinking too much last night. Did not go to Ayutthaya. Money not refundable. Oh well… was quite disappointed actually as I was looking forward to seeing the temples and ruins and coming back to the city on a day-time riverboat cruise.
- Pantip: Hubby bought Japanese porno DVDs at 200 baht each.
- Soi Cowboy: went in to Raw Hide. The girls are 10 times prettier than the ones we saw at Patpong on Day 2. No “katoeys” except for one fat girl and one skinny girl on stage who did not know how to dance. Before the show started, 10 girls in cowboy costumes went around the stage, each holding a drink. 2 came to us, toasting their drinks and speaking in Thai. We did not understand what they were saying, so we asked what was going on. They looked at each other, smiled and left. Hmmm, were they asking us to pay for their drinks? I guess we will never know. The atmosphere was more relaxed; no one pestered us for “lady drink”. We stayed for almost 2 hours. We walked around the area looking for a massage place. Did not find any decent and clean one. It started raining so we went back to the hotel.

Day 5
- Spa and Massage: My 2.5 hour spa cost 1,900 baht. It started with a 45-minute body scrub, shower, 45 minutes body mask, shower, 1 hour Swedish body massage and lastly a 20-minute milk bath. Hubby wanted to try the soapy massage at Annie’s. I did not allow him at first because I know it comes with sex. He swore no sex, not even a hand job. I asked him why he wanted it. He said since we were already in Thailand, might as well try it for the experience. He even begged me to go with him as they also offer a couple’s massage. I refused and told him he could go, but only after I made him swear no hanky-panky. I could tell he was excited. After he left, I kept thinking about a naked woman giving him a bath and massaging him on the bed with her body! What have I done?! I could not wait to see him and hear his story. When I was done, he was already outside waiting for me. When I asked him how it went, he said he only got a normal massage as a soapy massage without the sex equals to a normal massage. When he got there, the mamasan showed him the “fish bowl”. He picked a girl, and the mamasan asked “Sex or no sex?”. He asked “What is the difference?”. She said “No difference. You just tip the girl after massage with sex, 500 baht”. He said “No sex”. The girl came in wearing a towel only and he was naked. Half way through the session, he had a hard-on and she smiled. That’s all. Lol I hope he did not make that one up just to make me happy that nothing really happened! 1,500 baht for a 2-hour oil massage. He tipped her 200 baht. I felt sad for him. I should have at least let him have a hand job! Oh well, too late. But I was actually quite relieved the soapy massage did not go through.
- Suan Lum Night Market: bought more souvenirs. A big market with over 1,000 stalls (as told by one of our tour guides).
- Foot, Body and Facial Massage near Patpong: 2 hours for 1,500 baht. Aroma Oil body massage first (1 hour), and then foot massage with facial treatment (1 hour). Tipped the masseuse 100 baht and the facial attendant 50 baht.

Day 6
Home at last! I teased hubby about his Annie’s experience and he told me to shut up. Lol
 

Stickman's thoughts:

Comments to follow, ultra busy at the moment!

 

The author can be contacted at: wanderw0man88@yahoo.com.

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