Stickman's guide to Bangkok Readers' Submissions
Tips
By Pedro
Being here for just 5 short months I am amazed at what
I've seen so far here in Thailand. I arrived in
Bangkok like most, and promptly hit the Sukumvit area
for a late night stroll... finding my first Thai girl
on the sidewalk somewhere around Nana. From there
I've traveled for varying amounts of time to Patong,
Pattaya, Udon Thani, and Ubon Rachathani. Yes, you
read that correctly - Ubon. I am now here for a year,
having accepted a teaching position at a government
school.
I've read a great many of the articles here on
Stickman, my favorite one being the Theory on Thai relationships that was written not too far back. I think it helped me understand a great deal of what I've seen here in the country. There's a definite difference between Thai girls and American girls. And though I've dated Thai girls in America, even married one once... I wasn't quite prepared for the difference in culture, attitudes, focus, and what I see as a shallowness of self... or emptiness of self... that is apparent with Thai women. Not to say that this is a bad thing, just a very "different" thing for me to witness... I studied Buddhism for a couple of years, meditated a bit, and also lost quite a bit of self in the process... and by self here I mean "ego" or that which we call our "self". So to me, losing self doesn't have a negative connotation... I hope someone is following me... at least one person!
I have had some relationships with Thai girls here,
although short I've learned some things that I'd like
to share to maybe get some private or public feedback
about.
Here are my tips for farang new to the country. I'm
open to criticism, both constructive and bullshit.
1. Don't offer a bargirl money to leave the bar and
have a life with you. Many bargirls in Patong and
Pattaya, from what I can tell... enjoy their time
there. Especially the young ones (18+). They seem to
be enjoying the crazy life... drinking, fucking,
staying out late, staying wherever they want, making
decent money - 10-80,000 baht per month depending on
season and how much they can command for
short/longtime or overseas boy toys will send them. I
have a masters in psychology and I think I feel a
strong need to "HELP" these girls when I meet a nice
one... helping by offering that they can leave the bar
scene and be my maid for 10,000 per month, free room,
free food, etc. And you know, it just isn't an
attractive offer to them. They like the excitement.
They like the attention. They are superstars where
they are. They have many many friends, acquaintances,
and partners that make return trips. They enjoy
staying at nice hotels sometimes and being treated
well - food bought at restaurants for them, room
service, 500-3000 baht per day from their short time
employers. They are having a good time (some of them)
and you would be foolish to think that, at a young
age, they will give that up for 10,000 per month to be
your maid. I no longer think it's reasonable to find
a maid/housemate this way. Picture yourself - 18 yrs
old in America, England, wherever we come from...
someone offers you the same deal in your country...
how may of us would turn it down? Here in Thailand,
there does not exist the bad stigma... a girl is quite
free to do here as she wishes... and some of them like
it. Point finished. Moving on.
2. Anytime you walk into an "establishment" that is filled with young Lao or Thai girls (near 18 yrs old) your chances are about 30/70 that you will have a good experience if you pay the 300 baht for the short time room upstairs... The girls are captive there. They were bought from their family from some part of the countryside. They are not having a good time, they are hopeless and under threats of death or harm if they try to leave. There are guards at the doors and they are not going to enjoy the sex - even if they fake doing so. I'm speaking primarily of Udon Thani - those sois near the Robinson center... those are the numbers I came up with - anyone experience something different?
3. Motorsais = certain death at some point. In 5
months of driving one almost daily I have had 3 near
misses that would have been major accidents. I have
owned a motorcycle in the United States, driving on
roads in Honolulu - which is considered dangerous,
but, I have had so many close calls here that I am
very afraid to drive. I now drive under 50km/hour in
most or all in-city drives. If I am on the highway I
let it rip, probably to my detriment someday... I
have seen 3 fatal accidents - luckily did not see them
happen, but arrived within minutes of them occurring.
I've seen 1 farang and 2 Thais, one young girl and one
male Thai twenty something eat it. Two were here in
Ubon and one was in Udon. If you look around you will
see plenty of Thais bandaged up and with crutches and
other aids to compensate for crushed limbs and
what not. The Thais are EXPERT drivers. They have
driven these things longer than any farang in most
cases and can out maneuver them hands-down. I saw one
girl - fly by me at maybe 80km/hr suddenly have two
jackasses on motorsais pull right in front of her from
between a stopped truck... she locked up the brakes...
slid about 40 feet... steering the whole time, split
the two - went between them - there was about 5 feet
of gap to make it between, then she hit the gas and
roared through - maybe dipping to 40 km/hr during the
whole process. Fucking unbelievable. I almost
clapped, but would have lost total control of my 30
km/hr motorbike since I'm farang. DRIVE SLOWER. LOOK
MORE. TURN YOUR HEAD IF IN DOUBT. USE YOUR HORN MORE
THAN THE THAIS. WEAR SHOES. USE YOUR HIGH-BEAMS
ALWAYS. WEAR YOUR HELMET. GET A HELMET FOR YOUR
PASSENGERS AND MAKE THEM WEAR THEM.
4. Ladyboys are MEN. Piss them off and you will see
them become a man. They are fearless when angry for
some reason. Enough said. <Nah mate, I was out with a Kiwi pal and he belted one (there were two and they weren't small) and they backed off quickly - Stick>
5. If you're talking to a Thai man and he orders a
drink or a bottle for him or for his friends, and you
don't KNOW this man, maybe your best bet is to pay for
your drink and move on at that time. Don't wait,
because the Thai law says that the longer a farang
drinks with a Thai man, the more his responsibility to
pay for Thai man's drinks increases. Once the Thai
man/men are drunk, that is the point of no return and
you will pay for their drinks or be beat by an ant
herd of them.
6. Don't put anything at all in the security deposit
boxes of a hotel that you are paying less than 1500 or
2000 baht per night at. Even so - I'd never do it.
7. If you are pulled over by the police, even if you
speak Thai... do not speak Thai under any
circumstances. They will let you go out of frustration
or embarrassment, both of which is a winning situation
for you... at least in Ubon - where the police force
doesn't speak English at all. Patong I had a bit more
trouble, as they speak English OK. Pretend that you
don't understand their English and answer different
questions than what they ask you.
8. If necessary, use the ice, drink the water if you
want... whatever... the drugstores here have remedies
that get you "right" again in less than 24 hours. I've
had some soupy runs for 8 days that I thought would
require hospitalization... and just some
anti-bacterials had me as good as a goose in 1 day. I've
had 4 other bouts of diarrhea which were all cured
nearly immediately with Imodium something or the
anti-bac's.
9. Mai Pedt.
10. In areas outside of normal farang hangouts... like
Ubon Rachathani... the girls are not available for
short time/long time. They don't understand. They are
not whores all over Thailand, contrary to what my
friend in Patong will tell you. They are regular
folk. It's like me bringing some guy home to meet my
family in Florida... and the guy is from
Czechoslovakia... and he asks to fuck my mom for $12
because he thinks we need money. It's bizarre to ask
someone that. Thailand is a large country. There are
many here that are not $12-25 dollar hos. Respect
everyone in the outlying areas, or you yourself look
like a jackass and lose too much respect to recover
from. That being said, anyone in a gogo bar, karaoke
bar, brothel, or pedestrians on Sukumvit, on walking
street in Pattaya or in Bangla area of Patong etc, are
fair game.
11. Some Thais LIKE Taksin. Be careful who you
share information with.
12. If you go to Vientiane, Laos to get your
Non-Immigrant B visa and you think you were
followed... you were.
13. Always discuss money with a girl on the street
that you pick up for short time BEFORE you get to
room. After that, it's they're call - and you'd better
pay it cuz some of them are psycho.
14. Not all maids in Patong and Pattaya fuck or blow
you for an extra few bucks.
15. There are no ghosts in Patong... I swam after dark
many times... no problem.
16. If someone is undercharging for something -
example... girls that walk around on Patong beach with
25 juices in a box on their shoulder... they give ice,
cup, straw, and cha-yin (Thai iced tea) that hits the
spot... and they charge 10 baht! give them 15-20!
Christ, it's 20 baht for a bottle of water during the
day there!
17. Cook your chicken and pork extra when you
buy it at the barbq on the street... I've had a couple
of undercooked pieces of meat that could have sent me
to the hospital - if you believe my mom.
Stickman's thoughts:
Good stuff.
Thailand Hotels Bangkok Hotels Phuket Hotels Pattaya Hotels Hua Hin Hotels farangs. com The author of this article can be contacted at: vjl33615@yahoo.com.
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