Stickman's guide to Bangkok
A Thailand Virgin No More
By AK 47
I really enjoyed the stories about that gentleman who brought his Thai woman to the U.S. Its great to hear how she reacts to all the little things that we take advantage of on a daily basis. Maybe someone will read this story and have a laugh or two.
Some quick background on me, I'm in my early 30's, married, living in Southern California. My wife is Thai, but born and raised in California. She speaks, writes, and reads Thai. Her last trip to Thailand was over 10 years ago, and this was my first time ever. After a 13 hour delay at LAX due to a typhoon in Japan, we finally arrived to Thailand. Some of her family was already at the hotel, and once we settled in, my wife went out with some family. I actually had about 6 hours to do what I wanted. I stepped out onto Sukumvit and Soi 4, and started walking.
The traffic? I thought Los Angeles was bad, but Bangkok was unreal. I loved watching how all the motorbikes weaved in and out of traffic. The only thing sexier than a cute Thai girl hauling ass on a motorbike through traffic? Is two Thai girls, one sitting side saddle hauling ass with smiles on their faces. My entire time, I did not see one traffic accident...very impressive. Of course I took a few tuk-tuk rides, but the exhaust from all the vehicle can be choking. The air-conditioned metered taxis due just fine.
The wife and I along with a few relatives made our way to Chiang Mai. The family wanted me to see the country side, so we drove, stopping along the way to see various Temples. My new favourite place is "Jiffy" This is like a little convenient store at some gas stations. We stopped in a small town that has a chicken as a mascot. Stick, do you know the town that I'm talking about? We stopped at the elephant conservatory, and yes, I rode an elephant. We finally made it to Chiang Mai, and went to the highest point in Thailand. Looked at some more beautiful temples, and did some night shopping. After two days there, I was already wanting to get back to Bangkok. We made our way back south, and after one day of relaxing, we were on the move again.
After a 6 hour bus ride south of Bangkok, and a 2 hour boat ride from the mainland, we arrived at Koh Nangyuan. It's a small island surrounded by a few bigger ones. This place was beautiful, the water went from blue, to green and the sand was white. We had our own bungalow's and did some amazing snorkelling. Besides a few bugs in the room, no A/C and cold showers we had a great time. By the second night, I wanted to get back to Bangkok. (Notice a trend here) We got back to Bangkok, and had about 3 days left before we were to go home. My wife's family took us to eat at little no names places, and the food was amazing. One night, my wife's uncle's decided to take me out for a "guys night out" I found myself seduced by the Patpong night life. Now I speak no Thai, and her uncles speak 2% English, so it came down to a lot of hand gestures. Our first stop was the infamous "pussy show" To be honest with you, watching these girls stick different objects up inside them wasn't that impressive. Not to mention, the bargirls were extremely pushy. More so than girls at Nana Plaza, and yes I visited Nana as well. That's a whole different story. After the "Ping-pong" show, we were off to get a massage. One thing I would recommend, is a little thing called a "SOAPIE MASSAGE"! Sitting in front of a huge glass room "fish bowl" and getting to choose from dozens of beautiful Thai girls is a little over-whelming. But I quickly got over it and picked a stunner. The next two hours were amazing, and if you get the chance, please try!
There was something about Bangkok that completely seduced me, and it wasn't just the women. I fell in love with the sights, sounds, smells, and I could even handle the heat. I have to admit, that there are quite a few stray dogs, but they seem more scared of us, than we are of them. The begger's reminded me of Tijuana, Mexico. The skytrain was great, but I didn't get a chance to take the subway. One thing that pissed off my wife's family, was they got charged a little extra almost everywhere we went. Especially when we ate food. The simple reason, they brought a farang to eat. Now I didn't mind paying an extra 20 or 30 Baht, but my relatives were not happy. Another interesting thing was the reaction of my tattoos. I only have a few, but they are in colour, and with my white skin, they tend to stand out. Obviously they have tattoos in Thailand, but black ink is normally used. I actually loved the attention.
Remember that I told you I visited Nana Plaza. Well during my six hours of freedom (without the wife) I realized that Nana was right around the corner from where we were staying. I did some research and talked with some friends, so I knew what I was looking for. Once I made it to the opening of Nana I was frozen in my tracks. In my mind, I didn't want to be a total rookie, so I decided to walk each level and take in the sights and sounds. Having the lovely ladies tugging on your arms, smiling, waving at you is quite a rush. With no real reason, I decided to try Lollipops. I walked inside, and it was quite dead with maybe 3 or 4 other customers. I could imagine what these girls were thinking when they saw me...FRESH MEAT! They were like hungry wolves waiting to jump on this poor innocent rabbit. I sat down and ordered a drink, and immediately started scanning the stage. There were probably 10 to 15 girls but one really stood out. One girl came and sat down with me. Without being mean, she wasn't what I was looking for, so I made it obvious that I was interested, and after a few minutes, she was gone. Now the one that I was really enjoying walked off stage, and after I flashed a little smile, she was sitting in my lap. Her name was Usa #50, and she was gorgeous. I got the normal questions, and her English was actually pretty good. She asked if I wanted to go back to my room, but that wasn't going to happen, then she suggested we get a short-time room. I paid the bar-fine and we were on our way. Once we were on the room, she cleaned up and we were naked on the bed. This girl was ready for action, and something happen that I thought was interesting. She say's that she wants me to eat her "spicy Thai food", which meant she wanted me to give her oral. Now don't get me wrong, I love to eat P***Y, but it was still in the back of my mind that this girl is a prostitute. Not wanting to take anything "extra" home to the wife, I declined to go south on this young beauty. Once again, I had a wonderful time, and when we were done, I was on my way. Now I know your probably thinking that I'm immoral, a sinner, unfaithful, or whatever. I don't try to justify what I do, I just live life like I won't be here tomorrow.
It was time to pack on our last night, and I was already feeling sad. My wife bought enough stuff to fill 2 large suitcases, and before I knew it I was back on the plane. Flying home, I was not wanting to leave, but kind of looking forward to sleeping in my own bed.
Oh ya, I was once again, already missing Bangkok!! Will I go back to Thailand? It's not a question of if? but when? It's probably a good thing that my wife won't let me come to Thailand by myself. I know how I'm and I would probably sleep with every girl that smiled at me. Don't get me wrong, I love spending time with my wife as we travelled together, and I'm looking forward to coming back with her again. We are already planning a trip for next year, vesting Phuket, Pattaya, and of course BANGKOK! I will also plan for some time to myself, for another soapie and trip to Nana. Thanks for listening to my story, any questions or thoughts, shoot me an e-mail.
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